Hello! English, male and in highschool's all the information you need on me. Anyway, I need a wee bit of help with a small issue I have at hand: I absolutely amour this girl, yet I don't know how to ask her out...

We're friends but we seldom speak or make contact via any form of communication, I've known her for coming up to three years now and I've started to develop feelings for her. But it's not as clean cut as that; ohh no, there's a bit more to it! 2 years ago it she also started to devekop feelings for me and displayed it in various forms of behaviour heavily indicating attraction, from flirting (which was and still is completely conflicting with her as-per-usual personality) to going out of her way to meet and chat with me. Me (being the enamoured fool I was) had no idea of this and had, instead, my eyes on someone else whom I was attracted to. It took until fairly recently for me to make the link in my head and I'm afraid that 2 years have already passed. Here's where the problem lies. Girls (like any human) won't stand around waiting, and if what they're waiting for doesn't arrive; they get disappointed, bored and leave. No-one in their right mind would wait 2 years for the other party to realise and answer, as she has demonstrated in the fact that we no longer make communication on a frequent or regular basis. Normally it would be a bit easier asking a girl out if the askee didn't:

• a) Know her

or

• b) Take 2 years to realise her expired feelings towards him.

Although (quite luckily) there is an End of Year Prom for all students in my year in which both of us are attending and are without dates, and so I was thinking of using this opportunity to ask her out and to the prom, or even just one of the two. But... we've left school for study leave now and I have no means to contact her from afar, the only time I could possibly talk to her would be if we were to happen across one another by coincedence or if I were to ask her after one of our common exams.

This is where you come in; I will appreciate any and all answers and/or advice regarding my question. If you could also make an input as to when you think the best time to ask would be then I shall be ever more grateful! Thank you in advance! ^_^

I know exactly how you feel man, I had it a bit harder though, being the outcast kid, always picked on teased and made fun of. I still worked up the courage to ask my crush out, mind you she thoughfully rejected me, but it felt GREAT. I found myself with loads more confidence, started talking to people I didn't know, met a lot more friends and ultimately found my girl! Met her in high school, and now we're still together almost 3 years later, living with each other an couldn't be happier.

Moral of the story,

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

So get your butt over to her NOW and ask her. If she likes you, there's NOTHING you can say to make a fool of yourself.

Woah, really fast reply! I was expecting to have to wait at least another half an hour. But regardless, I've never heard words more true. I'm indefinitely thinking of asking her but, I just don't really know how and/or when to ask. I've not any of her contact details nor do I have any further opportunities to speak to her openly, aside from after the exams on their due date, until I restart in September. If you could help any more then I'd be very grateful, and I'm happy that you found that someone! ^_^

Make your own opportunity fella, seek her out and ask her out, if she says NO, so what, you tried, and can move to other options and opportunities. If she says yes, then you have a date.

If you never try, you never know. Why wonder? Why let it slip through your fingers because of being afraid to try? Just do it ASAP!!

Guess I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter then, do I? Ok then, I'll ask her next I see of her! And sorry for not following with what you said immediately C0bra, I like getting multiple views on a matter, but seeing as Tal said the same as you well; let's just say that it's beyond incentivizing enough to believe in and follow what the two of you have said. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to help me out! I may see you around, good luck and I wish the two of you the best!

If you're sure that she's the one, then by all means talk to her about spending more time together. Just do it! It sounds like she's been waiting for you to make the first move.

Good luck.

Just ask her to a date, what do you have to lose?

Keep us posted man! I'm curious to see how this works out!

Good luck!!

Sorry for not relaying what happened, I assumed that the thread had become somewhat void due to my dilemma being solved. Well I asked her "Will you go to the prom with me?" (After I spent the majority of the test trying to work up the courage to ask her after we were let back out, only to lose it all when I saw her face-to-face) and she said yes! ^_^ I was overjoyed by her answer but even more so by her facial expression as she delivered it. I caught her completely off guard with the question and she became slightly flustered. After she confirmed what I said by asking me to say it again, she smiled at me for the first time in two years and said "yes"! ^_^ She was also flustered enough to take what I said literally and say that she'd be arriving to the prom with her friend but that she'll meet me there, despite both her and I knowing that I just requested if she'd spend time with me at the prom and be my "date", not actually travel to the site of the prom with me. So not only has our relationship reached a point where it could easily escalate, but I also saw a really cute side of her ^_^ Would you want me to keep you updated on what will happen from now or do you want me to leave it here? I don't mind which you choose so don't feel pressured for an answer you don't want.

OF COURSE, we will want updates!! You're like our brother and son now. Consider yourself adopted.

=) Okay, guess I'll be posting updates then! But, as I said earlier, I don't have any of her contact details nor do I know where she lives or such so don't expect anything immediately, but I'll try and find a way to speak to her regardless. I won't post every time something happens because detailing about the progression between me and her on a website where dilemmas and questions are presented to online users and solved by said party would seem a little... childish? I don't think that's the word I'm looking for, but it'll have to do. So regarding the updates I'll do one at the end of every month, sound good?

Sounds good -- whatever you're comfortable with. Does this mean we won't be able to sit in the car's back seat when you give a girl her first kiss?

Well I'll be sure to post about something like that, I'll just go over, in some level of detail, whatever transpired that month. It'd just kind of defeat the purpose of keeping you updated if I were to omit something as important as that =)

Just me, but I think I would have gotten her contact info and followed up with some plans/Suggestions to maximize the experience myself, like for instance sugesting picking her and her girl friend up, and arriving together.

These are the types of things that can yield a lot of things you need to know, just by her reactions. I mean you did ask if she would be YOUR date!

Yeah... I definitely could've done a bit more there... I've still got a month and a half until the prom so I could try and do something within this time frame, such as getting her contact info and such. I should be able to pull it off by Friday, I'll also try and arrange to spend some time with her and discuss some ideas for arrivals/departures for the prom and the like. Learning to dance may be an option here too, actually it'd be pretty fundamental at this point... probably be best to do so, it'd be pretty bad having a date to prom and being incapable of pulling off even a waltz. Well Thursday's when the month really ends but I'll wait until Friday before I go over whatever happens this week. And thanks again guys for giving me the confidence I needed to ask her!

Sorry, this is veeery late because I've not till today had the chance to stop moving about and relax, but I've got the update regardless. Nothing much had happened last week except for me becoming excessively confused. We've established that the two of us are dates to the prom. Well, I (by chance) met with her in town and we just spoke about schoolwork and the like seeing as how it's the prime thing happening in our lives at the moment, considering we're taking our GCSE's now. At the end of the talk, just before we bade our farewells, I asked her if I could have her number; to which she replied "I don't really want you having my number. And besides, I like someone else". The comment about the lack of trust between us regarding me having her number, but the amount of trust between us for her to agree to be my prom date confused me a little and I'm still bound under that confusion. I know that I shouldn't pursue her any further seeing as how she has feelings for a different person, but feelings never die away quickly, easily nor conveniently. Proof of this is that my stomach and chest still throb with a sick, unfamiliar pain every time I recall the memory; and so I find that I'm most likely going to be keeping these feelings for a while longer, and that I'm still going to pursue after her from a small distance. I still haven't solidified my resolve as of yet so please feel free to give me advice on what would be right and wrong to do.

She won't give you her number and she likes someone else now, but you two are still going to the prom together?

Mm-hm. Well, she's liked this person since before I asked her to prom but, yeah. And I still can't make sense of it.

Quote:

---

I asked her if I could have her number; to which she replied "I don't really want you having my number. And besides, I like someone else".

---

To be honest, I think I would have uninvited her and be looking for a better date to the prom myself. She may have been worth the trying but certainly not worth pursuing with this last bit of info. She is going with her friend any way.

You tried, it didn't work. Sorry guy, and I hope there is time to get another date... a real one, not just in name only.

Mmm... I don't think there's time to find another date, I've got around a month until prom and have no contact with anyone at school (except for my close friends) whilst we're on study leave. I won't pursue her, but I suppose that it'll take a while for the pain to stop anyway, right? I still have amorous feelings towards her but that may stop in a few months, maybe sooner if I meet someone else. Well anyway I don't think that I'll find a new date in time for prom, but maybe I'll meet the right person in Sixth Form next year. Although this whole occurrence turned out to be a failure in the end, I'm still very grateful to all of you for helping me and possibly giving me a newfound courage that'll last a lifetime! I wish all of you the very best in your lives!