I was with my boyfriend for 5 years until he got a younger girl pregnant. This girl was sending him ranchy pictures and chasing him until he bit. I didn't find out he had cheated until he admitted she was 2 months pregnant and now the baby is born (my friend told me) and I'm finding it so hard. The day he told me, he said he got the wrong girl pregnant and that was still in love with me and he hated himself but he denied this to his family who thought I was crazy, obviously was stringing me along. The day I found out I switched my phone off and haven't spoke to him or saw him since September last year but he tried to contact me via email which I ignored. Ive been trying to get on with my life but I'm tormented by my dreams about him. I feel sick to my stomach and am trying to focus on me, exercising etc but the sick feeling won't go away. I can't stop questioning everything and thinking back to the last day I saw him and the words he said that later that night his mum said wasn't true about him loving me, it came as such a blow and his family all knew about him and her which cut like a knife. He lives around the corner presumably with her and their child now and I need serious console and advice.

Nothing but time will help you get over this. He is a liar and a cheat and you need to remember that. Think of the bad things and not the good ones.

Sooner or later, someone else will come along who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

It was a loss you didn't expect, after a five year investment in a man that you thought worthy of a serious relationship with only you.

It is difficult enough to get over a long relationship, knowing that 'but for the fact that he cheated', this would never have happened.

You have been betrayed in the worst possible way. First by him. Second by her (not a very honourable thing to mess with another woman's man), third by his family. It seems you were the last to know, as happens all too frequently.

Remember that you did not create the situation you were forced to deal with. You did not zap him with a cattle prod and he suddenly had the urge to cheat. You would not have encouraged him in any way to make the choices he did. He is responsible for them, and by the sound of things, as a father now, at least for the next couple of decades.

He may very well live the rest of his life, realizing that he made a big mistake in making the decisions he did when he was with you. So be it. It's called, consequence.

And his consequences are his, not yours, to bear.

And even though you were together for five years, you did not know him. Be grateful that you made the right choice, in not having anything to do with a man like that. Many live many more years before finding out their 'loved one' has someone on the side. This is a plus!

Also try to keep thinking that that chapter of your life is over. If you could go back in time, and change that particular event, it would still not change his character.

Time is a healer. Keep doing what you're doing and stay strong and healthy. There are many good men out there, and like odinn said, there will be someone else to come along and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Best of luck.

Thank you, that means a lot. I know think I've done the right thing by cutting them off and not staying friends.