My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We were together for five months and had no problems until the very end.

Prior to our relationship we had been friends for 3 years. We got together a few months after her year long relationship with her ex ended.

Even though we were very much in love the reason she broke up with me was because we spent too much time together, and we didn't talk as much as we should. But she blamed it on me.

We also have important high school exams coming up and we both get much stressed and I think this is a key factor in the break up.

At first we agreed to be friends, but a week after the breakup she went no contact. I respect her wish for no contact as I know it will help us to gather our thoughts, allow healing and help us to learn from our mistakes.

I care about her a lot and her birthday is in a few days. Should I break no contact and say happy birthday?

I feel that I should but friends have told me that as she broke my heart I shouldn't. However I don't hold personal grudges, and I feel if I don't say happy birthday will hold it against me.

Any advice? I would appreciate any sensible comments.

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Originally Posted by rocketman11

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We were together for five months and had no problems until the very end.

Prior to our relationship we had been friends for 3 years. We got together a few months after her year long relationship with her ex ended.

Even though we were very much in love the reason she broke up with me was because we spent too much time together, and we didn't talk as much as we should. But she blamed it on me.

We also have important high school exams coming up and we both get very stressed and i think this is a key factor in the break up.

At first we agreed to be friends, but a week after the break up she went no contact.I respect her wish for no contact as i know it will help us to gather our thoughts, allow healing and help us to learn from our mistakes.

I care about her a lot and her birthday is in a few days. Should i break no contact and say happy birthday?

I feel that i should but friends have told me that as she broke my heart I shouldn't. However I don't hold personal grudges, and i feel if i don't say happy birthday will hold it against me.

any advice? I would appreciate any sensible comments : )

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There's no right or wrong answer here, because no one knows her personally, no one here should it's safe to say this question is best left unanswered. Put yourself in her shoes, you knowing her best, and ask yourself this question, "Would I like my ex to wish me happy birthday."

Good luck my friend.

If you can do it without it breaking your heart or freaking out your mind then do so. But if it dredges up old memories, and feelings you cannot handle don't.

What for? An ex is part of your past, wishing them a happy birthday is happening in the present. Move on, stop thinking about her. You have done no contact properly, keep it up, and keep it up forever.

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Originally Posted by rocketman11

I feel if I don't say happy birthday will hold it against me.

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She's an ex... she broke it off and went no contact. Why are you worried if she will hold it against you? Who cares? Move on and forget her.

Also, I have to wonder... is any part of you hoping that if you contact her and wish her happy birthday that the lines of communication will open up? Maybe hoping things will come around and she will take you back? If that is at all possibly going through your head then for sure, don't do it to yourself.

No you don't it serves no purpose what so ever.

NO, why would you call an ex that left you? She now has no relationship to you whatsoever... do you call your first grade teacher on her birthday? At least she taught you how to read and write. I mean your teacher left you because the year ended, not because she wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side.
But if you decide to call her/him, why don't you call your ex boss as well.