So my boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with another girl lately. I had no problem with it at first, I would never want to be the one saying who he can and can't hang out with. However, I recently found out that she spends the night at his house a lot and sleeps in his bed with him. He hasn't been hiding it from me, but it still bothers me, seeing as they seem to spend more time together now than me and him do. He assures me that he won't do anything and that she has her own blanket and pillow when she sleeps over, but should he really be having another girl sleep over in his bed with him so much? I've talked to him about it and he still sees nothing wrong with it. I no longer know what to do and if I should even be as worried as I am...

Others may have a different opinion on this but...

If he has another girl sleeping at his house and in his bed and sees nothing wrong with it, you need to dump this idiot. To me, I would assume he is messing around with her. Why would he allow her to sleep over so much? Why in his bed? I see red flags all over and it kind of surprises me that you seem to be laid back about it.

Me? I'd tell him he can keep sleeping with her because I'd be done with him.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

Others may have a different opinion on this but....

If he has another girl sleeping at his house and in his bed and sees nothing wrong with it, you need to dump this idiot. To me, I would assume he is messing around with her. Why would he allow her to sleep over so much? Why in his bed? I see red flags all over and it kind of surprises me that you seem to be laid back about it.

Me? I'd tell him he can keep sleeping with her because I'd be done with him.

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Trust me I'm not laid back about it at all. It's been on my mind 24/7 since I found out. He's given me no reason to not trust him, but I have no clue who this girl is and how close they are. I don't think he's thinking about the situation the way I am, because I know for a fact if I slept over at another guys house in his bed, my boyfriend would throw a fit. He doesn't see what he's doing as anything more than giving a friend a place to sleep when they stay late, but I had no clue she stayed over so much. That's what I'm confused about. She could just go home, but she stays around. And as far as I know she hasn't stayed the night alone (other people were over but slept upstairs).

So why doesn't he sleep on the couch when she is over?

I agree with odinn7, in this situation I would tell him what he can and can't do. Let him know, again, that you are not comfortable with the sleeping arrangement, bring up the question of what would he think if you were doing the same thing? If he refuses to make a change, personally I would end the relationship. Not worth the worry, but that would be something you would have to decide for yourself.

Couples should not allow themselves to be in situations that their partners would be very uncomfortable with, and certainly not something that they themselves would have a problem with if the roles were reversed. Since he apparently doesn't see it as a big deal, then he should have no problem with stopping it since it bothers you.

Needless to say, he is no longer my boyfriend. I feel quite good about it actually.

Good for you! I wish you the best of luck from here on out.