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-   -   Help with a girl in a sensitive situation. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=662270)

  • May 21, 2012, 03:56 PM
    59LesPaul
    Help with a girl in a sensitive situation.
    I'll try and make this quick. (FYI, We're in highschool)

    I knew this girl acouple years ago. I hadn't talked to her since then, until about a year ago when I decided to look her up. Which I did, and I successfully reconnected with her.

    We started to really get to know each other and soon enough I found out she was in love with this guy. Since we hadn't hung out yet or anything, meaning I still hadn't seen her for years, I knew I didn't have a shot to sway her over. So I decided I would help them get together, while getting closer to her at the same time. I knew he liked her, and I figured since its high school, its fairly unlikely it'll last. But don't get me wrong, all I wanted was for her to be happy, even if it meant them being together forever. But if and when they did break up I'd be there to catch her.

    Well I helped get them together. Its been a year. They're still together, and her and I are really close. But their relationship is struggling.

    The guy is troubled and dealing with depression. He's done drugs and even attempted suicide. They just had their anniversary, and he forgot. He won't tell her what's going on, says its "for her safety", and its tearing her up inside. But she is still crazy about him.

    I've tried putting my feelings aside, because I do just want her to be happy. But this guy is making her cry herself to sleep.

    So, to make things worse. After talking on the internet regularly for a whole year, (as I said growing very close), we actually saw each other for the first time in what must've been 5 years. Up until that day, I had forgotten about my feelings for her, and had set my eyes on other girls. But that all changed when I saw her. All the feelings I had locked up, came out, and I don't know what to do.

    Even if they do break up, do I tell her how I feel? I'm afraid I'm locked deeper in the friend zone then anyone has ever been. But since we're just now starting to seeing each other in person, do I still have a chance?

    Thanks for reading this, it means a lot.
    I have no idea what to do, and any answers will be greatly appreciated.
  • May 21, 2012, 05:15 PM
    Homegirl 50
    As far as she is concerned you are her friend and she has a boyfriend.
    If you can't deal with being in the friend zone, cut the contact but that is all you do. She is still attached.
  • May 22, 2012, 06:58 AM
    59LesPaul
    Yeah I understand I'm in the friend zone. I guess what I'm trying to ask is. Once they do break up, (He's tearing her up emotionally). How do I show this girl, I've been here for her the entire time, and how do I work my way out of the friend zone, once he's out of the picture?
  • May 22, 2012, 07:04 AM
    Homegirl 50
    She knows you are a good friend, that does not mean she would want you as a boy friend. You can't make her feel otherwise.
    Once she breaks up with this guy (if she does) she needs time to heal. She does not need you sniffing around her waiting to be her boyfriend.
    The girl either likes you that way or she doesn't

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