Ok. I have been in love with this guy since January of 2011 when I first met him. He has trust issues so I had been just trying to be his best friend, he knows how I feel about him. The thing is, I didn't think he'd ever pull through so I tried moving on and started dating someone else about 5 months ago.

Well, three weeks into my relationship with this person, he messaged me and said he wanted to be with me. I didn't even know how to respond, but I told him the truth. That I waited for him for so long and that I thought it wouldn't happen and I couldn't just wait for something that might never happen. He said he understood and that if we ever broke up to let him know. I haven't talked to him since, he won't answer my texts.

I've been having second thoughts on my current relationship, I do love him, but not the way I love the other guy. I can't stop thinking about him but I don't know what to do, I don't really want to ruin my current relationship over this but I don't know what to do to make this right or how I can actually be happy because I keep stressing over this like crazy and its killing me. Help please?

First off stop cheating on your current boyfriend by going behind his back and trying to contact this best friend. Then decide if you are going to be loyal or not! If not, and you rather chase some one else then be honest and end things.

Keeping a guy when you want another is dishonest and selfish. Waiting to see if another guy wants you before you tell the current guy the truth is not only dishonest and selfish, its plain cheating and lying.

At least the best friend respects your relationship, even as YOU don't, and do as he is doing, leaving you alone, is what YOU should do, leave him alone. Now be honest with the current guy, if you want to end the confusion, because the feelings for the best friend have already started to poison this new relationship, because you are so confused about how to handle your own feelings. Just be honest with YOURSELF!

Now you do know what to do!

@talaniman

Its funny, because the last time I checked, I've never cheated on my boyfriend and you saying that makes me want to throw sharp things at your face. I AM loyal and I have been loyal. I'm definitely not selfish. I LOVE my boyfriend, and even though I do like the other guy I know I would never truly be as happy as I am with him as I am with my boyfriend. I came here for help, not to be called a whore by someone who thinks they're better then me just because they've got their life all figured out. And who said he's leaving me alone? I know I didn't. Now he texts me everryyyy night asking me too dump my boyfriend for him. And I tell him if he wanted me that bad he should have told me sooner instead of waiting until I had a boyfriend. I tried not talking to him and avoiding him BECAUSE I KNEW I HAD A BOYFRIEND and I kneww I was happy with him! And I didn't want my feelings for my friend coming back while I was in this relationship. You don't even know what went on between us and you have no RIGHT to call me a cheater. Here's the thing. I can here for help to get this straightened out. So either post here to help, or get off my post, shut up and keep your sly remarks to yourself. Understand?

Whoa! Did we strike a nerve or something? I just informed you of the fine points of cheating, so you know what to do to avoid conflicts with your guy, or hurting him from ignorance. So, leave the guy who you love more than the current guy alone, as he is leaving you alone.

I never called you any names but pointed out how it may seem to some one you say you are loyal to.

Quote:

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He said he understood and that if we ever broke up to let him know. I haven't talked to him since, he won't answer my texts.

I've been having second thoughts on my current relationship, I do love him, but not the way I love the other guy.

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That why I wrote what I wrote, and I never called you a name, just pointed out that you need to leave the other guy alone. Then the distractions, and confusions will fade, and you will be able to deal with your feelings. Then you won't have to misunderstand the advice given and want to get defensive, and throw sharp stuff at people.

I mean, what's texting this guy all about? He was clear so what's the need for more conversation, or texts? Yes that would be cheating, and its already close. Sorry you don't see it that way, but bet your current guy would!

Understand!

To support talaniman's post... cheating doesn't have to be physical, being with someone but wanting to be with someone else is mentally cheating, if you are experiencing this, then you ARE in fact cheating.

No one is calling you a whore, it is wrong to cheat, whether you have had sex with one person or one hundred. Now, what I would recommend is to finish the relationship with your boyfriend, date people, there is no need to tie yourself down whenever you are still wanting things with different people. This person from your past may be someone who you want to spend time with, by all means... DO IT! But first, break up with your current boyfriend.

I understand your frustration with your situation, but under no means should you ever talk down on someone who is offering you their point of view. We are all entitled to have one, and no one is here to attack you, so a "defensive" point is out of line.

I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do.