Ok here goes, just to be clear I haven't been losing any sleep over this and I'm OK with how things are in my relationship except I'm not used to this type of girl.

I also realise I'm probably going to be answering allot of my own questions as I write all this out. I'm a gabber so I'm very sorry for anyone that doesn't like long posts.

History: Went out with this girl about 4 years ago, we broke up. Neither of us really tried and we were both immature. Yes she decided on the breakup but I wasn't to bothered by it (I did go off the rails abit and slept around after the breakup but I regretted it)

We stayed goodish friends, (was hard to cut off contact because her brother is my best friend). And before you say/ask I did ask for his consent before even asking her out.

4 years later.. ish we got back together, she tells me that after only 2 months of us being apart she missed me. I said why didn't she say or do anything (jokingly) she was very honest and said she was happy as she was and content. (she hasn't had a proper boyfriend since me. Although inno she has had sexual relations but that doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me about the past. It's the past and that's where it stays.

I did at one point ask her what type of relationship she see's us having. She said a serious one. I was very happy to hear that obviously. But I'm the type of guy that likes to know what page I'm on so I do ask things that probably shouldn't be asked etc.

We have done many nice things together but sometimes and inno this she does need her space. Heck so do I. but sometimes I feel that I am the only one really making any effort. She does have a very... nasty work pattern and its hard to work around. Although she does spend 2 of her 3 days off with me. So I am very grateful that she sacrifices her time to be with me.

However she goes through phases of being all over me and phases of not seeming like she really cares. This is the real clentcher for me because I'm just getting abit confused. Maybe I should give her a little more space and let her do her own thing. Inno I can do my own thing and gym it/swim it etc. but maybe space will let our relationship grow more. (we've been together now 7 months can't remember if I said that already and I'm typed too much already to look through it).

I do love her and am willing to get her all the time in the world. Inno that she doesn't love me yet but I'm hoping in time that she will. But as I see it at the moment I am with a girl I love and am very happy. By the way I am 27 she is 25.

I guess what I'm really trying to ask here is... does anyone have any experience with this type of thing? Am I thinking too much? Am I just stupid and its not really a problem? (btw she has been like this in past relationships so I'm pretty much decided its how she is) oh, and we've never argued, not once. I've wanted to argue sometimes but when she smiles, I melt. Its actually annouying. But that's when I realised I loved her.

Any advice is welcome bad/good or even any criticisms.

Thanks for reading this... long post and I'm very sorry about it.

You are in love with someone you know does not love you. Are you willing to hang around hoping that will happen? Does she know how you feel?
You need to talk about things that bother/concern you, smiling them away does nothing.
You need to decide how long you are going to want to stay in this one-sided relationship.

Well, I do talk about concerns I have but when I told her I loved her and she did the cute "awwww" but I'm not quite there yet. I thought it would be best not to even bring it up again for awhile. I'm willing to give it 2 more months and then I'm going to ask her if she loves me. Ofc ill word it very differently and not so direct. But I would like to know if I am wasting my time or not. Yes it is one sided at this moment. But I think she has trust issues. And she gets... scared very easily. Not a commitment thing but she's been screwed over in the past by other guys and inno she puts a brave face on but inno she has had a very hard time. Years and years back she even tried to overdose. This is before we went out the first time. And it was to do with how she was treated in relationships. I am the loving and I do care what happens to her. I'm sure she see's this. I was thinking/hoping that she just needs time.

To give her a year to fall in love with you is a bit much, a ridiculous amount of time.
You talk to her, tell her you are in love with her and you know she does not feel the same,
That you think it best you let the relationship cool, let it go.
You are putting yourself in a situation you don't have to be in, in hopes that one day she'll return your feelings.