My boyfriend is 27 and moved back with his mum and dad a while ago when he moved back to this town. We have been talking on the net for over 2 years but decided to formally meet about 5 months ago and have been dating since new years eve but I am worried that he doesn't think of our relationship as serious, he has a close relationship with his mother but she doesn't know he has a girlfriend. I have asked him why she doesn't know and he says its because she has her idea on the perfect girl and I am not her and he doesn't want her winging at him about it all the time. He says he loves me and I do believe him.

Iam I just over reacting to this? Or is he always going to be a mummy pleaser and I will never be good enough for him

Your not over reacting in my opinion.

I am not going to say it is impossible to work out or never work out. The reason is my wife used to be like that with her mother. Her mother was very controlling and wanted everything her way and she always had a good way of making her feel guilty about everything.

I always encouraged her to stand up for herself and not be afraid of her mother. Things eventually worked out but guess what problems still arise. The only time we have had peace is of late because she decided not to contact her anymore.

Now in your situation. Will he always be a mummy pleaser, it sure sounds like that from what you describe. If he can not even tell her the truth and face his mummy that he has met somebody and wants to share his news. Plus the fact that he is 27 years old. So does that mean that his mummy never wants him to be with somebody because no one is good enough. What will that do to you?

He says he loves you, so if he does love you he will tell the truth to his mummy, he will actually stand up to her, because he loves you and he will start to actually grow balls and be his own person.

It might take awhile. Question is do you have enough patience to stick around and stick it out. You might be in for a long bumpy ride. Love wins out though if it truly is meant to be.

Good luck with everything.

Joe

Well I'm going to through my 2 cents in here and admit something that may or may not be relevant. I've never really brought my girlfriends around my parents because when I was a kid they act weird and say stupid things to my friends. So I really kept my personal life away from them. To be honest I didn't want my girlfriends thinking this is where I came from. It's bad enough that I know. Why subject someone else to that. I'm not saying that's what's happening here but it might be something to consider.

Thanks a lot jesushelper76 like all his friends and his dad knows he has a girlfriend its only his mum that doesn't like I do understand in some way why he hasn't because he is the baby of the family and I don't think she wants to lose him but I am in no way trying to do that I just know that with my mum that if I hid anything from her that important she would be very upset that I couldn't tell her about it maybe he just hasn't found a way to tell her without her thinking she is going to lose her boy. I have all the patience in the world to wait around for him to tell her or not I just wondered if it might have been something that maybe a lot of people go through.

Give this time without making it a big deal and focus on the relationship. Maybe over time things will change but for now if everything else is fine enjoy each other. He knows his mom better than you do so trust him.

Thanks heaps people well yea I am sure he does know his mum better and within time he will tell her but I have been told she is controlling so maybe he is trying to protect me because he does care and doesn't want anyone to be hurt