My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 years. We don't live together but spend a lot of time together in the evenings after work going to the gym, movies etc. We even made plans to relocate to another city because of work and maybe get married.

Out of the blue, he informed me that he wanted out of our relationship. The reason being that I suffocated and irritated him lately. He couldn't give me examples as to how I did this to him. Nor did he want to work out the problem. He just wanted time to make his own decisions. I asked if we were ending our relationship, but he indicated no. He indicated that I should have no contact with him and that he would phone me. He had no idea as to how long this would be.
It feels like I've lost my best friend in the world and that if I gave him his space, I am eventually going to lose him.

Depressed!

Hmmm sounds like somebody else.

8 Years and all of a sudden your suffocating him and irritating him, that is not good enough reason especially being together for so long.

He wants it on his terms, well do not wait for him to stop playing games with you. I do believe you need to get to the bottom of his behaviour at the same time it seems like your stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am sorry for your loss.

A best friend would not treat you like this without explanation, and I believe it is only fair to get one.
You deserve an explanation, a true one. Write a letter, wait a day or two. Reread it and if you feel comfortable send it.


Joe

I smell a big rat here and would caution you very strongly to stop moping and crying and pay attention very closely to his actions. To big of a change to fast, and his insistence for space, NOT GOOD. Leave him alone until he can be honest, which I doubt.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chiquita

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 years. We don't live together but spend alot of time together in the evenings after work going to the gym, movies etc. We even made plans to relocate to another city because of work and maybe get married.

Out of the blue, he informed me that he wanted out of our relationship. The reason being that I suffocated and irritated him lately. He couldn't give me examples as to how i did this to him. Nor did he want to work out the problem. He just wanted time to make his own decisions. I asked if we were ending our relationship, but he indicated no. He indicated that I should have no contact with him and that he would phone me. He had no idea as to how long this would be.
It feels like I've lost my best friend in the world and that if I gave him his space, I am eventually going to lose him.

Depressed!

---

I'm going threw the same thing my boyfriend told me he wanted to do his own thing I tinhk they want to keep us and do what they want to do when I can't say mine is having a relatioship somewhere else but I feel he doesn't love me like he use to I was depressed but I did nothing wrong I know you plobly love him search your soul be strong don't let him know it bother you when he call don't answer all the time its working for me

There are a few inconsistencies in what you have written. You say "Out of the blue, he informed me that he wanted out of our relationship." yet you later say "I asked if we were ending our relationship, but he indicated no." Sounds like this guy doesn't know WHAT he wants! You have been dating 8 years but you aren't living together and were making plans to relocate and MAYBE get married?? Then you are suffocating him? Things just don't jive here.

Regardless, the bottom line here is that this man doesn't even respect you! He expects you to just sit and wait for him to call?? I don't think so! You feel like you have lost your best friend in the world? Best friends don't treat each other like this... they communicate.

Sometimes people have difficulty ending relationships with people they fear will become too emotional or hurt. They create reason after reason, trying to skirt around the truth, all in the name of not hurting someone. They just don't get it.

There is a possibility that he truly does need space to figure out where your relationship is going in his eyes. Give him the space regardless... because if he truly wants to end the relationship, then you are better off without him. If he needs to work out the next step in the relationship, you need the time to know if you really want this relationship. He may come back to you, he may not. Whatever you do, you should NOT sit there waiting for him. Life is FAR too short.

It sounds like both of you might be a little commitment phobic as far as creating a permanent future for the both of you together, so at best you are friends. I think you need better friends! You certainly deserve to be treated with respect, if nothing else.

Hugs, Didi