I'm 28 years old and I am about 5-6 months pregnant. I already have two young children (8yrs & 18 months) and I'm considering adoption as I am considering going back to school in the fall and many other things and feel that adoption would be my best decision, but in the back of my mind I also want to take care of the child because I'm its mother, and don't know if I'll be able to live with the burden of giving my child to someone else.

The thing is, though, is that the father of the baby I no longer have contact with and haven't spoken to in a long time because I got pregnant due to a one-night stand... I no longer talk to this person, but I've heard you need both parents' agreement to go through with the adoption if that's what is decided... so I am unsure how it will work? This is another reason why I think adoption would be best, as I am with someone else now and not with the father anymore.

I am unsure what my options are and what I should do... PLZ HELP!~!
What do you think I should do?

Speak to an adoption agency and get counseling to help you make this decision. No one can make it for you. And yes the court will require you try to find the father and get his agreement to the adoption.

Depending where you are at, normally the father can take the child if you do not want the child, if both do not want child, they both would sign to allow the adoptoin

PLEASE see a counselor. Even if you are 100% sure that adoption is right for you, there are lasting emotional and mental issues that stem from adoption---just like from ANY of your options once you are pregnant.

A counselor specializing in adoption issues will be able to help you determine what choice is best for YOU and for your baby. Planned Parenthood should be able to help you find a counselor in your area, or you can contact a mental health agency in your area to be directed to someone who can help you.

You DO need the father to agree to the adoption as well, but your main concern right now is determining ALL of your options and figuring out what is best for you.

I was adopted at birth by an amazing family and I adopted my now 18 year old son. Speaking from both sides adoption can be an amazing thing. First, get counseling, you want to be 100% sure of your decision.

There are also open adoptions where you can have a relationship with the child if you want to. Of course this has to be agreed upon by all parties.

Good luck, I hope everything works out.

Hi. Not sure where in Arkansas you live.. I live down in the Cabot area and have been trying to start a family for over 8 years now. We've done foster care in hopes of adopting but couldn't continue due to the heart break from the children leaving after we get attached, and fertility treatments didn't work for us (well, it's me as I have PCOS) either. I've looked at SO many different places to find out where to go to adopt, but honestly, the only thing I'm most familiar with is just private adoption (without going through an agency or place like that)

My sister was adopted so we are very familiar with how the process works, and my best friend just adopted a little girl last year (it was a surprise thing that basically happened over the weekend!) The mother of the child they just adopted wasn't in contact with the father of the girl anymore either, and so the lawyer (whoever you choose, if you do decide, would/should get a lawyer, at no cost to you) and after try to figure out where he lives or how to get in contact with him. If they can't, then an ad will be placed in the newspaper a few times (I'm sure you've seen those in the classified before asking for so-and-so to appear for whatever reason) and if he doesn't within so many days, then he's legally out of the picture and you'd be the only one who would have to sign anything.

As someone who can't have children on my own, the only advice that I can give to you is to make sure your comfortable with it. Find out everything you can about who you want to take care of your child. I would give anything to have the opportunity to adopt from someone in a situation like yours, and would be 100% open about anything they wanted to know/ask/look in/etc. because deciding to let your child live with someone else is a big decision, but, if you know that you won't be able to give the child everything they deserve and need (including time, because so many parents forget that's a big thing, instead of just leaving them in front of a TV or playing video games) then you're actually making the best choice for your child, and helping them to have a better life. I admire you for being honest with that and for choosing to help your baby in that way.

I'd be more than happy to answer any other questions you may have about the adoption process if you're interested. Feel free to email me at <EMAIL REMOVED>

My husband and I will be praying for peace for you so that you can make the best decision for you and your family. <3

-Beth

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Originally Posted by funnyfreefarm

Hi. Not sure where in Arkansas you live.. I live down in the Cabot area

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This is a global website. Where did you see that the OP lives in Arkansas?

There are numerous adoption agencies and counselors you can talk to. It is important that you are sure of your decision. Adoption can be a beautiful and self-less act, but it is very hard to do. My husband and I are wanting to adopt. You have to do what is best for you and your sweet baby. Be prayerful and get counsel. Good luck!