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-   -   My girlfriend and I are having problems climaxing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=660740)

  • May 16, 2012, 06:28 AM
    Palaxfan
    My girlfriend and I are having problems climaxing
    My girlfriend and I have very passionate sex, but for sometime now it's been difficult for her to climax and now it's wearing off on me. Last night we both performed oral and climaxed (that's never been the problem with her and I), but during sex she can't climax and it's been a problem. Such a problem that now I can't climax. I get the sense from her that after 15 minutes she becomes uninterested which leads to me not climaxing.

    We need help figuring something out! It worrying her and affecting her self esteem and now it's beginning emasculate me. Suggestions?
  • May 16, 2012, 09:04 AM
    Synnen
    MOST women cannot climax from intercourse alone. The nerve endings just aren't there. Imagine trying to climax from someone just fondling your balls.

    Have you tried manual stimulation of her clitoris during intercourse? That helps for a lot of women.
  • May 16, 2012, 09:35 AM
    Palaxfan
    She has though that's the thing. It's like inconsistency I think my problem is that I'm doing too much thrusting and not focusing on her gspot. She usually is the one to initiate the manual stimulation.
  • May 16, 2012, 09:48 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Palaxfan View Post
    not focusing on her gspot.

    Medical scientists do not yet know where the g-spot really is. What are you focusing on?
  • May 16, 2012, 10:19 AM
    Palaxfan
    Wow, I guess I am confused. I always believed that a woman's gspot was the "leathery ball" inside her vagina (maxim reference) usually during sex she either will climax when I'm focusing on that spot and also anal penetration with a finger enhances it. I guess I'm missing out completely on this? Advice?
  • May 16, 2012, 11:40 AM
    Synnen
    For MANY women, that's right... but not all. They haven't really "proved" the existence of the g-spot yet.

    Have you tried sex with her on top? Does that have a better chance of making her climax?
  • May 16, 2012, 11:53 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    It is not you, as told early in the post. MOST, the majority, most of the time all women do not climax during actual intercourse, often if they reach that point before, some times they may during, but not always.

    So if you are letting this bother you, just stop having sex, since you are wanting something that is not going to happen. Making a big deal out of it, makes it bad for you and worst for her.
  • May 16, 2012, 07:24 PM
    WisperWill70
    Many couples have success taking the pressure and focus off ORGASM.

    If YOU are now having problems climaxing as well (or yourself esteem is becoming involved) it sounds like there is already too much focus on getting to this "goal" during vaginal sex... so much so that it could be making it more difficult for both of you.

    It doesn't matter how you get there as long as you get there. If you relax, and take your time you can communicate about the sensations that DO do it for her, and incorporate what you learn when you have vaginal penetration, you might take some of the pressure off and change how you're going about it. Communication without pressure can be really sexy.

    Remember: the most powerful sex organ in the body is the brain :)

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