Hey there, can someone tell me what to do with this thing on my mind.

I'm married and have a beautiful family but, I think I am in love with someone else, as this person made me realize that I am better than the life I have at the moment. This guy is not here and I can't stop thinking of him, Don't get me wrong I love my husband and have been doing everything for him, but he doesn't even see me. I feel for the years that we have been married, it just been taking up time to keep me busy, and he doesn't help with anything.

This guy just likes me for the way I made other's feel and that's happy without touching or having sex with him, he sees me. Just me, but what do I do?

I have been married more than 35 years, and in all this time I think we both have encountered others we love and who get us. Who see us. By staying within the boundaries of good behavior, and not doing something stupid with these feelings, you can enjoy good feelings without the consequences of bad feelings from bad acts.

The intensity, and confusion will fade in time, as the newness wears off, ESPECIALLY if you can reconnect your mind and heart back to your husband. Right now, maybe there is a rut, or rough patch to go through at home for whatever reasons, and any positive attention from anywhere is welcome, and feels damn good.

But before you go following the quick fix feel good take care of home first, and give it your best shot at weathering one of many storms that marriage goes through, and make home a happy place by staying within the boundaries of good behavior.

All us humans are capable of loving more than one person for many reasons, sometimes very strongly, and that's beyond our control who, when, and why we love. But what you do about those feelings is damn for sure under your complete control.

Your marriage is still first. Never betray it or yourself.

Hi talaniman

This is the real reason why I asked for help, I've been married for 6 years and have 2 beautiful kids, which I thank God for and I love my husband so much, but for this 6 years of marriage, he has been treating me like nothing at all, I knows he loves me but he has a very funny way of showing it, he has lost his job 3 times and yet I stayed with him through all this, he got onto drugs and yet I stayed, and I love him still but it feels like he doesn't apprechate anything I've done or do still, he is working now, but yet, it's just my money that pays the bills and everything else, he doesn't want to tell me what he does with his money, so that's why, when this other person come back in my live, he looked more interesting then the live I have know. So maybe you can help with that, now that you know the reason why. Do you still think I should stay or go on my way?

And you have allowed this behavior why? Have you ever told him that this situation has to change or you will leave? Have you taken the steps to be independent, and separate from him? These are the things that must be done at home before you look around for that quick fix feel good, because as good as any fellow is one on one its no different in the beginning as it was with your husband, before the babies. Really good! But its very different than having a long term partner to help raise kids with.

Its easy to give your heart to another when you are miserable, and feel stuck in the mud at home, but to think this fellow is a long term path to happiness is UNREALISTIC!! The best path I think is confronting your husband and seeing if changes can be made so you will know if its better to stay, or go, through honest communications, before you put your future, and your kids future into the hands of a stranger/co worker.

What you call love may be just gratitude, lust, or just needing to feel better. Handle your home first, and worry about life outside of it after you have made a decision based on facts, and not just feelings, to go or stay. Anything else is a crap shoot.

Now confront your husband, and get some facts to work with.

And after you "give your heart" to someone else it makes fixing things at home even harder.

You say he has a FUNNY WAY of showing his love, which means perhaps he is showing it,just not the way you want it shown, We each have what is called a love language, and as I speak english, my neighbor next door speaks spanish and we can not discuss issues with our fence or yard, If both of you don't talk the same love language often you don't understand the other.

He loses a job, there fore to him he is a failure as a father and husband, that is his language,
You said you stayed with him,? Of course a wife does not leave a husband because he loses his job, but the fact you said,it shows that perhaps you agree he failed you and the family by losing a job.

I would strongly suggest counseling to find where the relationship went wrong and if there is a path to fix it.

Concentrate at home, and cut conversation with temptation outside of the house. If you are having problems with you husband, fix them.

THANK YOU, for all the emails that your guys have send to me to try and help me think, I will do all that, not that I have not tried it before, but I will give it one last shot and if it doesn't work, then I will leave, for 6 years I have been holding on to something or someone that can't think for himself, so I had to help him through all that, what kind of person would I be if I had to leave him in time of need, be I need him now, and it never comes. He keeps his money for himself, he works now, and doesn't wish to share what he earns with us, but I will try to give this marriage one last shot and talk to him again, thank you very much to all you guys, I really appreciated it