Ask Me Help Desk - How to get custody of a sibling

Hi everyone. My husband and I want to gain custody of his 14-year-old sister. We are currently scared of her safety. Her biological mother is in the hospital on life support due to a teminal illness and the biological father is deceased. The step-father on the other hand is a convinced child predator. He hasn't been home in two weeks to care for her and has left his youngest son in charge. He has feed my husbands sister and I have had to send food to her house to make sure she eats and also to give us a little piece of mind.

We are only twenty years old and we don't have a lot of money. We are scared for her safety. We don't want to call Child Protective Services because we are scared they will put her into a foster home. Do you think we have a chance at receiving custody due to our age and finances?

I know you are afraid of losing her to the system, but I would call CPS. If you make sure to let them know that you would take her into your care if they remove her from her step father, family is almost always considered before foster care.

Yes you have a chance and it sounds like she needs to be out of that house immediately. First of all she is 14 years old and she must be willing to allow you and her brother to be her guardians. Call your county court clerk and see if you qualify for a reduction or waving of filing fees in petitioning the court for you both to become her permanent legal guardian. If she has an estate you may also petition the court to become guardian of her estate as well and any survivor's benefits. They will want to know your total income to determine how much to charge you, if anything. If your income is over the limit then they might not wave any amount. Also, they might charge her estate instead of you, if it is substantial, but not sure about this. It will most likely be a process of having temporary physical custody, then temporary guardianship and then permanent guardianship. Not sure exactly what your state/local requirements would be, that is why you need to call your own county court clerk. Your husband's sister might have survivor's benefits from their mother, should she pass and not recover so check with social security, if she doesn't recover. You will need the mother's full legal name, date of birth and social security number. I assume the sister is already receiving survivor's benefits from her father's social security. Also, they might only pay on the higher earned income, not sure they combine it. There is paperwork to fill out in petitioning the court for guardianship and most likely you will find all the forms online or ask the court clerk if they have the guardianship packet. If they do not have the packet they should be able to tell you which website to go to where you can fill out the forms online and then print them to take back to the court clerk. I think the initial filing fee is about $250 to $300. You might not be able to save then to your computer though. It's always best to have an attorney, but if you cannot afford one, as I stated above, contact the county court clerk and go from there. Also, is the mother able to sign legal papers giving the brother guardianship of the sister? Even having a statement signed and notarized from her is better than nothing or a deposition of her testimony signed by the mother wanting both of you, or at least her son, to be her daughter's legal guardian. You really do need an attorney and perhaps one will allow you to make payments after you pay a retainer fee. Good luck

Actually, children do not have to be willing to do anything. If the court finds her best interest is to be with her brother, that is what will happen.

If the step father never adopted, then he has no rights to her. I would go get her and bring her to your home then immediately file in Family court for temporary guardianship.

You don't need a lawyer to do this, though it would be advisable. You just need to show that your husband is her closest blood relative and that she is in danger where she is. I don't see a problem getting temporary guardianship given you time to prepare a case for more permanent custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

actually, children do not have to be willing to do anything. if the court finds her best interest is to be with her brother, that is what will happen.

Yes minors do need to be willing to allow relatives or friends to become their guardian, at least at 14 years of age and maybe even younger. No judge is going to send a child kicking and screaming to live with anyone in a private home, if they are not willing. I’ve been through it 5 times with teenagers, blood related and non-blood related. I know from experience the judge does listen to minors and every time allowed them to decide where they wanted to live, allowed them to change their minds and allowed one to become emaciated before 18 years old.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FirstChair

Yes minors do need to be willing to allow relatives or friends to become their guardian, at least at 14 years of age and maybe even younger. No judge is going to send a child kicking and screaming to live with anyone in a private home, if they are not willing. I’ve been through it 5 times with teenagers, blood related and non-blood related. I know from experience the judge does listen to minors and every time allowed them to decide where they wanted to live, allowed them to change their minds and allowed one to become emaciated before 18 years old.

This TOTALLY depends on the judge and the jurisdiction. In every state Family Court judges are charged with thinking first of the best interests of the child. Do they make mistakes, yes. Will they listen to the preferences of the child, sometimes. And yes they will pull a child "kicking and screaming" from a home, if they feel the situation is toxic to the child. Happens all the time.

And I can't imagine any judge allowing a child to "become emaciated" at any age. But they might decide to emancipate a child if they can prove they can live on their own and not as a burden on the state.

Attributing one's narrow experience with a single jurisdiction is not helpful to our members.

Because it appears I do not have broad experience in this matter, as I did not go into details, does not mean I have narrow minded knowledge. Thank you.

"How to Retain Guardianship of a Minor Child"

Quote:

If you wish to retain guardianship of a minor child, most states will require you to obtain written consent from the child's legal parent or parents, and receive approval from a court in the child's home state. In most circumstances, you will need to hire an attorney to prepare a guardianship agreement and to determine the exact legal processes for your jurisdiction. If you cannot afford an attorney, the legal aid office through your local court may be able to provide you with advice and guidance at little or no cost.

How To Retain Guardianship Of A Minor Child | LIVESTRONG.COM

http://www.livestrong.com/guardianship/

Quote:

Originally Posted by FirstChair

Because it appears I do not have broad experience in this matter, as I did not go into details, does not mean I have narrow minded knowledge. Thank you.

I didn't say "narrow minded". That is much different from what I said. You were describing your own personal experience and applying that experience as if it was much more universal, which it isn't.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I didn't say "narrow minded". That is much different from what I said. You were describing your own personal experience and applying that experience as if it was much more universal, which it isn't.

No it’s not a good feeling to be misinterpreted…and then have a very important point invalidated. It is important to have a willing mind. It is equally important to have a willing heart in order to respect and honor the laws of the land and the moral precepts/principles we teach our children to live by and as we set the example.

The word and point being, “WILLING.” Yes, I have experience of 20 something years, dealing with numerous US states and counties. I am an advocate for children. What I have learned can be applied universally to teenagers and their choice to be rebellious by not being agreeable…not being willing of heart and mind.

I stated...

"First of all she is 14 years old and she must be willing to allow you and her brother to be her guardians." [She of her own ‘free’ agency, must be willing]

Then jenniepepsi stated...

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
"actually, children do not have to be willing to do anything." [I absolutely disagree with this statement that, “children do not have to be willing to do anything." …So then, children should be forced to comply?]

Then I stated...

"Yes minors do need to be willing to allow relatives or friends to become their guardian, at least at 14 years of age and maybe even younger. No judge is going to send a child kicking and screaming to live with anyone in a private home, if they are not willing."

Then you Scott come along and send the dialog in a way different direction challenging my experience which has nothing to do with a teenager’s, “Willingness.”

ScottGem wrote “Attributing one's narrow experience with a single jurisdiction is not helpful to our members.”

Like you, Scott and the others here, I too want to help others find an answer; a solution and the result being ‘peace of mind or acceptance’ after decisions are made/decided. Respectfully~