Hey I have a boyfriend. Last year he separated with his wife, and I was 3 months pregnant (baby isn't his) and there's a possible two fathers. So I was wondering(im not going to have a paternity test, because my judgement in guys sucks) one of the guys don't want anything to do with my daughter so I'm not worried about him, but the other one isn't a good influence(never takes a shower, lives with his mom and house is covered with cockroaches and rats and he wants her) but my boyfriend wants to adopt her as soon as his divorce is finalized, I was wondering if he could and what would happen if he did, if the actual father had to sign it and I had to get paternity(dont want to have legal battle- custody) what do I do?

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Originally Posted by akwacbmdw

hey i have a boyfriend. last year he separated with his wife, and i was 3 months pregnant (baby isnt his) and theres a possible two fathers. so i was wondering(im not going to have a paternity test, b/c my judgement in guys sucks) one of the guys dont want anything to do with my daughter so im not worried about him, but the other one isnt a good influence(never takes a shower, lives with his mom and house is covered with cockroaches and rats and he wants her) but my boyfriend wants to adopt her as soon as his divorce is finalized, i was wondering if he could and what would happen if he did, if the actual father had to sign it and i had to get paternity(dont want to have legal battle- custody) what do i do?

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If the biological dad didn't sign the birth certificate I think you should be fine. Especially since your not sure who it is. Hope that helps.

More likely the court will require that you get permission from the bio father to allow the adoption.

That's the whole problem though, id rather not have a paternity test because there's that one time chance that the guy who wants her and isn't suitible might be the father, its not personal against him I just know he wouldn't b a good influence on her. I know that there's some laws in some states that says her active father is the guardian, but I don't know if that applies in va, and I also don't know how long it takes for him to be considered "active" when she gets older she will call him daddy but is that enuf?

The choice is not yours. The bio father has rights. A court is not going to take those rights away just on your say so.

That's not what I'm saying, if I don't do the paternity test, can he still adopt her? I've heard of the mother signing adoption papers to another person? What's the difference? I don't want to fight with the guy and he's not going to pay to have it done, I'm not worried about that, I just want to know if he has to sign the papers if there's no father listed on the birth certificate.

The court will require that you perform due diligence in identifying the father, and once that has been done, he will have to consent to the adoption.

You aren't listening to what I'm saying. For your boyfriend to adopt, it has to be approved by a court. The court is going to require that you get the bio father to sign off relinquishing his parental rights. The court isn't going to allow the adoption until you get a signature.

Just for an update I talked to a lawyer and he said it wouldn't be that hard for him to adopt. Because the bio father knew about her being born and did not make a claim for paternity and the fact that there's no father on the birth certificate.

I think you need a new attorney. Without the bio father's consent most judges would not grant the adoption. At the very least you would need to show that you had made an attempt to get his permission but were unable to contact him.