Bn married since I was 19 were both different pepole 16 yr later I want out but regretfully he's a lovley man. It sounds sefish but I feel as I'm married to my brother .

If you want a divorce, you hire an attorney file for a divorce.

But what about counseling, often after many years of marriage, couples forget how to communicate to each other

If you want out you get a divorce. It's expensive, it will take time, but that's what you have to do if you want to break a legally binding contract like a marriage. It's a lot easier to get married (and sadly too many people do it without thinking it through) then it is to get divorced.

But, if that's what you want, then do it. Get divorced, live on your own, take care of yourself by yourself, and hopefully you can find what you're looking for.