So I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 months then we had a 5 month break and he blamed me for it. Five months went past and we got back together after everything we have been through he now turns around after a month and says I am different and not the girl he fell in love with.

Even though in the past week and a half he has not spent any time with me unless he was with his friends and they were taking their girlfriends then he would take me.

I went through depression and ended up in hospital after our first break up and now I don’t know what to do. My friends tell me I should end it before I get hurt again, but should I wait it out and see what happens?

P.S he flirts with other girls and it seems like he doesn't want a relationship at the moment.

Listen to your girl friends, because they are absolutely correct about this.

Yes, he is obvious,

First you are different, and he is different, after a break up and 5 months apart you are both slightly ( at least) different.

But he is making excuses so not to take the blame.

I would suggest getting professional help, since you don't want to go too far into depression again.

Well Please take deep cleansing breaths and relax taking a break isn't a bad thing and so just know it's not your fault. Take a good hot bath. In some sea salt. I know it seems weird but it really helps. Drink some hot bedtime tea with some honey. If you need to write about it. Talk to someone about this. And talk to yourself about it even, it will help. Lay down in bed and try to sleep. Next try to interact with some people. And make the best out of what you can.
Hope this helped. =]

I know this hard but honestly get over it you don't want your life to be depressing the rest of the time so try to be happy please. And yes I don't know you. But I worry about people like this just keep saying to yourself everything will be OK =] It eventually will be. Don't take the stupid route and surround your world around this person. Take the smart route and know that you will be OK =] Sorry you are going through this. This happens to someone in everyone's lifetime your not alone there is someone else in this world going through the same thing you are.

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Originally Posted by lrush22

So I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 months then we had a 5 month break and he blamed me for it. Five months went past and we got back together after everything we have been through he now turns around after a month and says I am different and not the girl he fell in love with.

Even though in the past week and a half he has not spent any time with me unless he was with his friends and they were taking their girlfriends then he would take me.

I went through depression and ended up in hospital after our first break up and now I don’t know what to do. My friends tell me I should end it before I get hurt again, but should I wait it out and see what happens?

P.S he flirts with other girls and it seems like he doesn't want a relationship at the moment.

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Hi, after reading your story I have some advice for you. Whom ever broke your heart at first, there will be another time that your heart will be in pain again. A lesson for you to be learn always by first obstacle in a relationship. It's seem that he is not taking seriously with you in a relationship and now, it's time for you to play hard to get and find out more about him until he gives up his player side and come back to you with tears down on his knees. In a relationship if one side decide not to take thing seriously, there'll always be a great downside and one of them will end up in a bad situation in their future. So, aim for your future goal of what you want to do and focus on the important things that you'll need like (career) and then come back to look for your relationship; but don't wait too long after your career has been set... otherwise, age will get to you.

I have spoken to my boyfriend and asked him what he wants and wants in a relationsip, his replied was I don't know...
We were together this afternoon and he said no matter what happeneds if this doesn't work we must be bestfriends and still hang out. Then out of the blew he said I am honestly beautiful and 5 minutes later he said I am truly amazing..
Is he playing with my emotions?
Then we laid down and chatted about us and he had to say that he just doesn't see us working cause of our past and 5 months break..
Then he started to cry and said he loves me and not matter what I will always have a big part in his heart.

We are still together but
Is he just playing with my head and emotions?
Or does he truly do love me?
And just need space?
Or should I wait it out and most likely get hurt again?
Or walk away and save the heartache a bit?
Ill always love him to bits, xoxo

You just keep hearing what you want to hear. He wants you as a friend, but really has doubts about romance, so I think its you being in denial, because of how bad YOU want romance.

The poor fool doesn't want to hurt you, but you are forcing him to! He simply doesn't love you the way you want him too, and has said so.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You just keep hearing what you want to hear. he wants you as a friend, but really has doubts about romance, so I think its you being in denial, because of how bad YOU want romance.

The poor fool doesn't want to hurt you, but you are forcing him to! he simply doesn't love you the way you want him too, and has said so.

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I asked him what he wanted and he replied saying I don't know.
What am I meant to do about that?
I even said its better to be friends at least until you no what you want.
And he said " no!, we are together, we will go with the flow and see where it ends up"

Talking about someone that nearly cheated on me, poor him you say.

Not poor him, poor you for holding on to some one and allowing them to use you as a crutch while they look around for some one better. You know this and still want to be with him??

I have already said do as your girl friends have said,

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My friends tell me I should end it before I get hurt again, but should I wait it out and see what happens?

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You have obviously made a different choice here, and choose to stay. So you are asking for it from him right? You practically throw yourself at Mr. I Don't know, against all advice, just to see what happens... AGAIN?!

I don't know what to say when you run head first into a brick wall and want to do it again. I really don't. Except, leave him alone!! Period.

It seems to me that he is playing with you emotions and you don't deserve that I'm sure. Try to relax and talk to him say I don't want to get in an argument but we need to talk please and then sit him down.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Not poor him, poor you for holding on to some one and allowing them to use you as a crutch while they look around for some one better. You know this and still want to be with him???

I have already said do as your girl friends have said,



You have obviously made a different choice here, and choose to stay. So you are asking for it from him right? You practically throw yourself at Mr. I Dunno, against all advice, just to see what happens................................AGAIN??!!

I don't know what to say when you run head first into a brick wall and want to do it again. I really don't. Except, leave him alone!!! Period.

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I left him alone for five months until he came back, we both came back. We both knew what we wanted but now he is changing his mind..


I said its better to be friends before someone gets hurt, and he pretty much begged me to stay?

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Originally Posted by cupcake obsesso

It seems to me that he is playing with you emotions and you don't deserve that I'm sure. Try to relax and talk to him say I don't want to get in an argument but we need to talk please and then sit him down.

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We have spoken about it and he says he loves me and downt want to lose me,
I replied " you wont, no matter what happened"
He said we are still together and that's finial

I'm so sorry I can't give you more advice other than that "If this relationship is bad tell him you just can't be with him anymore and say sorry it's just not working out. Lets be friends and try to start all over again when where both ready again.

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Originally Posted by cupcake obsesso

I'm so sorry I can't give you more advice other than that "If this relationship is bad tell him you just can't be with him anymore and say sorry it's just not working out. Lets be friends and try to start all over again when where both ready again.

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Yes I considering it.
Thank you

How old are you both? Did you ever resolve the issues that broke you up before? What were they? You say you were both ready, but it seems, you were not. Why did you think things would be so different this time than the last time that put you in a hospital?

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So I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 months then we had a 5 month break and he blamed me for it. Five months went past and we got back together after everything we have been through he now turns around after a month and says I am different and not the girl he fell in love with.

Even though in the past week and a half he has not spent any time with me unless he was with his friends and they were taking their girlfriends then he would take me.

I went through depression and ended up in hospital after our first break up and now I don't know what to do. My friends tell me I should end it before I get hurt again, but should I wait it out and see what happens?

P.S he flirts with other girls and it seems like he doesn't want a relationship at the moment.

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Everything you have written says reject him and get him out of your life and don't listen to his BS any more and take 6 months to a year exploring your life without him in it whatsoever. Your problem starts with you wanting him in your life, and being so willing to go along with his program, even when you know its in your own self interest.

I daresay you have made him so important, maybe you are preventing yourself from doing other things for yourself, that will boost self esteem, and self confidence. I really feel that you have to separate him from your life to heal, and gain your emotional strength, which is dangerously LOW!

No more of him, in any shape or fashion. Treat him like kryptonite*, something dangerous that looks good but brings great harm, and distraction to better things.

*Note- kryptonite is the one thing that can kill Superman.

I'm 17 he is 18 next month..
Well it's a long story it all stated when we started dating he use to flirt with all these girls and I didn't no, he had be convience that it was just me, young and stupidly blind I fell for it.. not get mewrong I don't regret what happened. But then three months went past and everything was fine, I was at his house and I was on his Facebook account and I girls kept popping up so I looked and read the messages, I was shatted.. he was asking girls for sexual stuff and saying they should come over when I'm not there.
I walked out crying and started to walk down the street crying, next minute he ran after me and started crying begging me not to leave him. I didn't believe him and walked away at 10pm at night I went to a friends house near by..
No matter what happened after that night we have just been different, I Fell for him, I honestly do love him. I can say that..
Then he promised he wouldn't talk to girls. I turned 16 and he was my first.
9 months into dating everything was fine but then he was gratuating from school and was under a lot of stress and didn't want me around but wanted me there. I was there for him no matter what still dating everything calm down and went back to normal.
10 and half months and he started turning another girl, he threaten to break up with me and played with my emotions. And then when I comforted him about this girl he text me saying " your a and im over it"

We broke up and didn't even bother talking to me the next day I was calling and texting got nothing back so I gave up.. I was heart broken..
And the next day he was with the girl he was flirting with.
I went all depressed, ended up in hospital and turned to drugs and hang with the bad crowed..
I was the type of girl who was "popular" one of them ones and everyone refred to me as that.
I changed lost friends and became distance from family. I moved out and dated a 18 year old which was my ex at the time mate.
3 months later I found out he had sex with the girls he was flirting with while dating me.
Knowing all this I stilled loved him.
I came clean and stopped all the bad stuff and became myself again..


2 more months went past and he came back saying he loves me and will never do it again, he was just under stress.. that he loves me and I'm amazing and all this stuff. Im in love with him that much its my birthday on Monday and he said he wants to be there for it. But now he is talking about breqaking up..

And yeaaahh...

I can't imagine myself with anyone else after all we have been through, I no I'm young and I'm going to experience a lot of heartaches. But I do want to kept him mine for a very long time. And he might not be the most attractive guy everyone no's but he makes me feel complete and when I'm not with him I feel empty..

I beliee him when he says he loves me, but I don't know.

You need to let him go, and find healthier ways to feel good about yourself. That first love thing has left you weak, vulnerable, and needy. You must let this go, and the quick fix feel good has you addicted to him as drugs did. You have to accept that fact, or drown in your own sh1t!

Take him off that pedestal, he is not worthy. Nor does he deserve your attention, heart, and concern. His words and actions don't match, and you are but one of many of his options.

LET GO of the notion that he is your only! You seem to be stuck, but all you have to do is let go!

Don't even say its easier said than done, YOU Can't, or any other excuse for not letting go, because those excuses keep you from doing the right thing for yourself... letting him GO!!

Or prolong the misery.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You need to let him go, and find healthier ways to feel good about yourself. That first love thing has left you weak, vulnerable, and needy. You must let this go, and the quick fix feel good has you addicted to him as drugs did. You have to accept that fact, or drown in your own sh1t!

Take him off that pedestal, he is not worthy. Nor does he deserve your attention, heart, and concern. His words and actions don't match, and you are but one of many of his options.

LET GO of the notion that he is your only!! You seem to be stuck, but all you have to do is let go!

Don't even say its easier said than done, YOU CAN"T, or any other excuse for not letting go, because those excuses keep you from doing the right thing for yourself.....................letting him GO!!!!

Or prolong the misery.

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I've realised what I\s best and I'm going to let go.. I'm over going to bed worried about waking up to a text message and it hurting more than usal. I'm going to do it while I'm perpeard for the upsetting part..

What something's I can do to get my mind off him?