I have a husband who is over 20 yrs older then me. I'm currently 29.I have a year old child by him and 2 boys by different fathers. He currently takes cares of all three of my children and myself. But the problem is he is controlling and very arguementive and let me not forget he has his abusive moments. I try to stay positive but he drains me more than the children. He only sleeps in the bed when he wants intercourse. He yells all the time,not one day passes without him yelling either at the children or myself. If I don't do what he wants me to do he says very harsh things about my charcter like I using him to take care of my boys or I'm a grimmy person or he knows in the long run I about to cheat on him .when I never in the 5 years I been with him step out in him. We only been married for a year and I'm just ready to go but I have no money because he pays for everything. I scared in a way because he is a law enforcement and I don't want him to get custody of my one year old. Is there anyone out there who has advice for me or can suggest ways I can leave and still have custody of my child?

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Originally Posted by trulytired

I have a husband who is over 20 yrs older then me. I'm currently 29.I have a year old child by him and 2 boys by different fathers. He currently takes cares of all three of my children and myself. But the problem is he is controlling and very arguementive and let me not forget he has his abusive moments. I try to stay positive but he drains me more than the children. He only sleeps in the bed when he wants intercourse. He yells all the time,not one day passes without him yelling either at the children or myself. If I don't do what he wants me to do he says very harsh things about my charcter like I using him to take care of my boys or I'm a grimmy person or he knows in the long run I about to cheat on him .when I never in the 5 years I been with him step out in him. We only been married for a year and I'm just ready to go but I have no money because he pays for everything. I scared in a way because he is a law enforcement and I don't want him to get custody of my one year old. Is there anyone out there who has advice for me or can suggest ways I can leave and still have custody of my child?

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There is no guaranteed way to keep custody of the child he is a father to... he has equal parental rights and can file for custody. That doesn't mean he will actually get it... just that he has rights equal to yours to do it. And only a family court can award custody.

Unless he adopted the other two... you better be filing for child support from their actual fathers if you aren't collecting for them now... You will of course be entitled to Alimony payments... as well as child support for his child assuming you retain custody. The ammounts would be determined by the court.