I've been unfortunate since I was a child... Never met my dad, molested, abandonment from a junky mother and placed in numerous abusive homes. I feel the world owes me now and I deserve a break. I tried my hardest to change my fate. I've been doing everything in my power to give my child a better life than mine. I joined the military and used my GI Benefits to go to school. I transferred to Cal with a 3.91 but once I got there my benefits ran out forcing my family and I to withdraw and end up homeless (couch surfing at friends).

I got a **** job for a moving company that hires mostly illegals and doesn't pay OT. I recently almost landed a new job at BNSF but on the day I was supposed to start, I received an email rescinding the offer because they were unable to process my background check.

I've become a very hatefull person, especially to celebrities and more fortunate people. I actually wish harm upon them. I get so irritated and upset I won't get out of bed or eat for days. I constantly think about suicide. I think I put out a bad energy that keeps producing misfortune.

All I want in life is to give my child a home do that he'll always have a place to fall back on if he ever faces the same problems and an attic full of his childhood memories. I am currently seeing a therapist but I can't shake the idea of just go'n lights out.

I cannot seem to get a leg up. Is it possible that this bad energy can effect the world around?

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Originally Posted by chansen8668

I've been unfortunate since I was a child... Never met my dad, molested, abandonment from a junky mother and placed in numerous abusive homes. I feel the world owes me now and I deserve a break. I tried my hardest to change my fate. I've been doing everything in my power to give my child a better life than mine. I joined the military and used my GI Benefits to go to school. I transferred to Cal with a 3.91 but once I got there my benefits ran out forcing my family and I to withdraw and end up homeless (couch surfing at friends).

I got a **** job for a moving company that hires mostly illegals and doesn't pay OT. I recently almost landed a new job at BNSF but on the day I was supposed to start, I received an email rescinding the offer because they were unable to process my background check.

I've become a very hatefull person, especially to celebrities and more fortunate people. I actually wish harm upon them. I get so irritated and upset I won't get out of bed or eat for days. I constantly think about suicide. I think I put out a bad energy that keeps producing misfortune.

All I want in life is to give my child a home do that he'll always have a place to fall back on if he ever faces the same problems and an attic full of his childhood memories. I am currently seeing a therapist but I can't shake the idea of just go'n lights out.

I cannot seem to get a leg up. Is it possible that this bad energy can effect the world around?

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Yes... the attitude you carry good or bad.. IS visible to others... and it will effect how they view you or treat you. Go around with a grudge thinking the world owes you anything... and people WILL view you negatively... and it will reduce what opportunities you have and will in fact close doors that would otherwise be open to you.

Your life is what you make of it. Are you familiar with the saying... "if life hands you Lemons... make lemonade'? Lemons on their own are sour and not at all palitible, But with so sugar, diluted with cold water... and you make it something quite good.

It also means just because someone had all the advantages growing up... doesn't give them a leg up in life... quite the contrary.. it means they are less equipped to deal with adversity... you on the other hand know what it is to be down and out... and if you are smart you use that to your advantage to know what to avoid... and use it to motivate you to work harder to be a success in life.

Having some hard luck can go two ways.. one way is you moan and complain.. woe is me... and you do little to better your situation and you blame others for the results of your own bad choices... OR... you use it to build character, to learn from the bad choices and accept responsibility for every choice you make... and if you have to... seek out advice from others if you don't know what choice to make.

If you are American.. we are granted life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness... we aren't entitled to it being handed to us on a silver platter. If you want more... you work harder to get it. I know people that grew up in poverty that made successes of themselves through hard work, because they never had anything handed to them and they earned everything they had... so they had greater respect for what they had... and I've also known people born into wealth that attended the best private schools... that made disasters of their lives due to poor choices and an entitlement mentality.

Thanks for the reply and please don't think I haven't tried to put out all good energy. I've always appreciated the term, "kill'em with kindness" and I'll go at it with an attitude, ready to give the shirt off my back. But, unfortunately, my kindness is always mistaken as weakness. Especially in the lower social class that I'm usually surrounded by. For instance, I'm a small framed white male living in Hunter's Point SF (because that is where all SF Section 8 is) and I'm working in an industry full of uncivilized knuckleheads.

Before I had to withdraw from Cal, I was picturing an entire different life for us right now. I completely agree with you on everything you say, it's just much easier said than done. Thanks

I'm sorry, I just also want to mention... I'm a disabled vet. I almost lost my left leg in combat after five years of service, yet I can't seem to find a better job than this one. Literally, illegal immigrants are my bosses and they get paid almost twice as much as me. I work on average three, twelve hour days a week with no concern for breaks and no overtime pay. Basically because the illegals don't mind, the owner gets away with murder. I am trying my hardest to get out of this situation but so far my closest option at BNSF fell through at the last minute.

Excuse me if it sounds like I'm venting, but I'm almost certain I'm fated for failure.

College, you get a grant to pay some each year and do that much, there are many major colleges with on line programs If one well drys up, find another.

Again, find another job, did you find out why they could not run background on you ? Did you not provide them proper info,

I wish it were that simple. I am absolutely beside myself as to what took place with my "conditional offer", but I have recently decided to contact the Chief Human Resources Officer, Riz Chand, to illustrate all the actions leading up to the final letter rescinding the offer the day I was suppose to start. I hope to emphasize my efforts in pursuing employment with BNSF in hopes Mr. Chand may be able to offer a solution. Here is a draft of my letter... please review if you don't mind.

May 8, 2012
Mr. Riz Chand
Vice President and Chief Human Resources Officer
Burlington Northern Santa Fe
2650 Lou Menk Drive
Fort Worth, Texas 76131-2830


Dear Mr. Chand,
I write this letter to you to outline the disappointing transaction I had with BNSF and the third-party background investigation company Verification Inc. when applied for the Conductor Trainee position in Richmond, CA on January 11, 2012. I was denied employment because Verification Inc. did not properly process my background investigation in time to start training.
With a pending start date of March 12, 2012, I received a conditional offer dependent on passing a medical screening and background check. I promptly completed all required paperwork and task to complete these processes. Eventually, I received a confirmation stating that I passed and qualified all medical requirements for the position.
Two weeks before the start date, I still had not received any official start date or official job offer. I called and spoke to Heather at Richmond’s human resources department and she assured me that the background check was still processing but not to worry, unless I hear otherwise.
A week later I contacted Verification Incorporated. At first they had claimed that they made at least 30 unsuccessful attempts to retrieve my history from Tulare County Records Dept. I immediately contacted the County’s Records Department who claimed no request had ever been made. I immediately called Verification Inc. back and they claimed they made contact on my case and that it would be processed by March 9, 2012. This was the Friday immediately before the course’s Monday, March 12, 2012 start date.
Friday, March 9, 2012 I spent my day consistently checking email for a confirmation from BNSF or Verification Inc. At 3pm I called Verification Inc. They stated that my background check was still processing.
I then contacted Heather at Richmond HR, and she stated that the corporate office in Fort Worth, TX was closed and since training started the next business day (Monday, March 12, 2012), I would not be accepted for the position. I pleaded with her in hopes that she would understand my circumstance and see how it was out of my hands, that maybe I can still attend training this Monday as long as my background check processes. Unfortunately, she stated that I would not be able to attend.
I called Verification Inc. again to see what happened. At first they claimed they did not know why my check was not processed because it was Tulare County’s responsibility to send them my background information. Later they claimed that due to a mysterious red flag on my record that I had not mentioned before, my background check would take another week.
I was baffled by this last minute change in the status of my background check and immediately called the courthouse. I was transferred me to the highest appointed supervisor, Amber Conway, who again stated no request had ever been made and there was no mysterious infractions on my record. She gave me her direct line so that I may pass it onto Verification Inc. to help finally resolve this issue. Verification Inc. replied that it would not be necessary because they retain local representation in Tulare County and that they were properly handling my case.
After a long stalemate weekend, that Monday at 4am PST, I immediately began making calls and sending e-mails to BNSF Headquarters in Fortworth, TX. I left numerous messages with Military Staffing Representative John Wesley and Staffing Strategies Manager, Elaine Stewart in hopes that they could help resolve this in time for me to start that morning. I was back and forth with Verification Inc. who continued to give me a run-a-round. Finally, at 11:28am I received an official letter of regret from the office of Elaine Stewart rescinding the contingent offer because, “The scheduled start date for this class has past and you are still pending the completion of the Background process.”
The next day, I received a phone call from Elaine because apparently she had been flooded by forwarded emails and voicemails from other employees I tried to contact. She had an excused all my concerns with reasons and stood by Verification Inc. claim’s that they made every attempt to expedite my background check. She also claimed that they would not make direct contact with the Tulare County’s Records Supervisor, Amber Conway because I could’ve been giving them any person’s contact information and have them pose as County Record’s Supervisor.
As long as I remember, I have wanted to be a Train Conductor. Due to the high reputation that BNSF proudly holds in the military Veteran’s community and with the Veterans Administration I was excited about the opportunity to establish the career I’ve dreamed of. I’m sending this letter with upmost respect and my intentions are only to emphasize my efforts in proudly serving BNSF’s railroads. In the meantime, I search for new positions everyday and intend to reapply as soon as one opens. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Very Respectfully,
Christian Hansen