Ask Me Help Desk - Another parent child question...

Another parent child question...

How wrong is it,

If a parent smokes pot while their two year old child is wide awake? In the same room that the child will be put to sleep in, in a matter of hours.

How wrong is it? It's wrong to have pot anywhere in the house with a child in the first place if you want to keep your child. That actually can be grounds to have your child removed from your custody. So, to smoke pot in a room where the child is going to be put to sleep is even wronger (is that a word?).

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

How wrong is it? It's wrong to have pot anywhere in the house with a child in the first place if you want to keep your child. That actually can be grounds to have your child removed from your custody. So, to smoke pot in a room where the child is going to be put to sleep is even wronger (is that a word?).

THANK YOU!
I absolutely 100% agree. I have said before I do not have my own child. I have never smoked pot or done any other drug. I have a very intelligent nephew, whose parents do exactly this. It really bothers me and its so not fair to him, that he has to be subjected to something like that at such a young age. Anybody who has seen a two your old for ten minutes knows how easily it is for them to get their hands on anything they want. I would be so upset if he got into their stash.

My first thought was that the child is inhaling the second-hand smoke and accompanying residue. That can't be good for his lungs and brain. My second thought was that he is watching his parents do this and enjoy it -- smoking, breaking the law, putting their child at risk physically and emotionally and with the legal system (later will think, "my parents didn't love me"), etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellocat12

THANK YOU!
I absolutly 100% agree. I have said before I do not have my own child. I have never smoked pot or done any other drug. I have a very intelligent nephew, whose parents do exactly this. it really bothers me and its so not fair to him, that he has to be subjected to somthing like that at such a young age. Anybody who has seen a two your old for ten minutes knows how easily it is for them to get their hands on anything they want. I would be so upset if he got into their stash.

Call the Police and protect the child - it's called tough love.

How did you become aware of this? It's open and obvious?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My first thought was that the child is inhaling the second-hand smoke and accompanying residue. That can't be good for his lungs and brain. My second thought was that he is watching his parents do this and enjoy it -- smoking, breaking the law, putting their child at risk physically and emotionally and with the legal system (later will think, "my parents didn't love me"), etc.

Their big thing is... "We never do it around him, and we wait until he is asleep." They never wait until he is sleeping, but they really don't do it in front of him. He really has never seen them do it. But I believe that just because you close the door, doesn't mean he's not breathing it. Also I'm all there with the residue, it leaves behinde so many toxins. It just makes me sick!

Abc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellocat12

I would love to call the police. They are very open about their habbit, and even though they know how my fiancee and I feel about it, they are perfectly fine opening that nasty jar in front of us. It smells horrible. The reason for me not calling the police... My fiancee still lives at home we are both 20 and are just starting out. His brother and soon to be wife are 21, and 23 and are both moving out very soon. (the ones with the two year old son) His other sibling is 18, and in highschool. Their parents both smoke pot, ive never seen them do it. But I know they do, so that made it okay for their oldest son and their 18 year old daughter to do it too. My fiancee and I are totally against smoking pot and have never done it. It was very damaging to my fiancee that he found his father, the person he looked up to so much, smoking pot with his brother and his highschool friends. Anyway, I can't call the police because they all do it, my so and I are already outcasts because "we think we are better than everyone else," which is not so. I can't cause a big family conflict, as you can already imagine with the situation, its constantly an argument in that house. I know its not fair to my nephew, I love him dearly. Its just such a sticky situation. My fiancee's father is a big guy, and he likes to drink as well. Getting into an argument with him is not pretty. Ive seen him put his hands on both of his sons and I will not allow it to happen to my so ever again.

btw..deleting this in a few days because it is so personal.

First, you cannot delete a post. What is posted stays.

I work in the legal profession. That child is being exposed to something you believe is dangerous. You can't do anything to protect the child because it might cause an argument?

I'm sorry but that is irresponsible IF the "problem" is serious enough to cause you to post the question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

First, you cannot delete a post. What is posted stays.

I work in the legal profession. That child is being exposed to something you believe is dangerous. You can't do anything to protect the child because it might cause an argument?

I'm sorry but that is irresponsible IF the "problem" is serious enough to cause you to post the question.

I just feel that, I am not the primary care giver, and they are irresponsible with their child. You really have to put yourself in the situation. The whole family is skrewed up, and I am the "new" soon to be sister-in-law. I cannot put my fiancée in a situation that is bad enough for him to be disowned by his own family. I'm just curious if there are other people in the world who are this lax with their habbits and parenting. Im not saying they blow smoke in the kids face, but they smoke and then bring the child into the room and I don't see a big difference in exposure. :(

Do you really want to be part of this family?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Do you really want to be part of this family?

I have to accept what comes with my fiancé. I love him and I would never leave him or do anything to hurt him. His family is much different than my own and it is so hard to adjust when I go to his house. But I have to do it for him, he's going to be my husband and I will do whatever it takes to get us there.

I married into an alcoholic family, so you have my prayers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I married into an alcoholic family, so you have my prayers.

Thank you, Carol. How did you get through? If you don't mind me asking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellocat12

I just feel that, I am not the primary care giver, and they are irresponsible with their child. You really have to put yourself in the situation. The whole family is skrewed up, and I am the "new" soon to be sister-in-law. I cannot put my fiancee in a situation that is bad enough for him to be disowned by his own family. I'm just curious if there are other people in the world who are this lax with their habbits and parenting. Im not saying they blow smoke in the kids face, but they smoke and then bring the child into the room and I dont see a big difference in exposure. :(

I was married to an alcoholic. No secret, I've posted it before. I know all about irresponsible behavior.

I also know that someone has to protect the children of the world. You plan to marry this man and have these people have contact with your children?

Thankfully, my husband wasn't an alcoholic, but whenever I was with his family, I had to be on guard for myself and my children for emotional/verbal abuse, controlling behavior, loose boundaries, and all the other issues that are part of a family in denial. Knowing what I know now, I would not do it again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I was married to an alcoholic. No secret, I've posted it before. I know all about irresponsible behavior.

I also know that someone has to protect the children of the world. You plan to marry this man and have these people have contact with your children?

Supervised contact only as decided between the two of us, my fiancée and I.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Thankfully, my husband wasn't an alcoholic, but whenever I was with his family, I had to be on guard for myself and my children for emotional/verbal abuse, controlling behavior, loose boundaries, and all the other issues that are part of a family in denial. Knowing what I know now, I would not do it again.

Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry that you had to go through those things in life. It sounds like you did a damned good job though! I think God puts us through things like that to teach us different ways to appreciate life.