First of all it's fair to say right off I'm not your typical demographic. I'm 53, been married and divorced twice, and in between was more of a player than I'd be comfortable to admit. With that background in mind here's my dilemma. Been with the same lady [near my age] for two years. Pretty much from day one all we had in common was a similar view and practice of sex. All good. Then after a year or so into the relationship the sex goes away. Not good. So I sit here and wonder if maybe this is about right to expect? We rarely fight. Neither one of us have cheated. We live together but share most of the expenses down the middle. Then there's the "but" in it all. I suspect she loves me no more than I love her and that's not at all a good thing. I respect her and I wouldn't want her hurt in any way but I don't have that longing at all when she's away and frankly neither does she when I'm away. We have absolutely nothing in common. Never did so I'm not finally waking to this nor am I trying to look for an excuse. It's just the way it is. So I know hopeless romantics will call for me to move on but in reality I've already done my share of "moving on" and I'm beginning to wonder if this is just about as good as I should expect at my age and already in a long term relationship. What say you?

I don't hear the word, 'love', in your summary of feelings toward your girlfriend. It seems to me that both of you are in a comfortable arrangement, that works, but there are no fireworks any longer in the sex department.

If the relationship is worth saving, and in so doing, addressing the intimacy issue, or lack of, then why not get into couples counselling in order to put the cards on the table from both sides. You may not know, or realize why the sex stopped. There is usually a reason.

This may inadvertently be a plus for both of you. It is an opportunity to comfortably address any issues she has with you, and in so doing, you may learn more about her, and also learn to address issues that you may not have been aware of.

You on the other hand, needing to sort out if the relationship is worth saving, and/or how to improve your relationship, can air your honest concerns, as you stated here. She may not fully appreciate how you feel, or doesn't want to rock the boat, or perhaps her mindset is quite different than how it appears.

Nothing will be solved by 'settling'. At the very least, making the effort to get to the meat and potatoes of the relationship, will teach both of you what you have, what you want, and what decisions you both need to make.

It would be a shame that later on down the road, if you were to realize that... if only you'd tried a little harder to find solutions, you may have stayed together.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I'm a real conversationalist. Being part of dialogue on most any level is simply a joy for me. Having said that I have tried to get her to see a doctor thinking it might simply be something physical but to no avail. I have tried ad naseum to engage her in a conversation about the sex as well as countless other subjects but "talking" is just not something that appeals to her. Just writing all this out is pointing me in a direction frankly I would prefer not to go again. The dilemma at my age is that this is 100% better than being alone.