Ask Me Help Desk - Ex-wife walked out on us.

Hello, looking for a bit of advice please.
My soon to be ex wife walked out on myself and the 3 children 6 months back as she and our daughter had not got on for 2 years. They did not speak for a further 5 months, only just started seeing each other again. She saw the other 2 kids 3 times a week though.
She is now threatening to get the kids full time even though this has been the children's home for 13 years, I have been the house parent for that time, the kids are all happy with me, and prior to wife leaving our daughter was having behaviour problems (not since wife left though).
Has she got any chance? I'm worried that judge may give her the kids as she's the 'mother' even though I have been the mother to my kids for last 13 years and been there for them the whole time and not deserted them and supported them through thick & thin.
My family, friends, neighbours, doctors & youth justice (for daughter), could prob all vouch for me being a decent parent.
Have I anything to worry about? Many thanks

Most of the time the courts like to keep status quo when handling matters of custody. You have had them for 13 years so that works in your benefit. If there was a major change in behavior or something to mandate moving the children then there is no cause for alarm.

Hi, many thanks for the reply, I'm worried sick. Could I ask you for a help on the matter below(posted few days back but no reply), many thanks.

Hello, I am looking for a bit of advice regarding my wife (soon to be ex) and was wondering if you could help me.
My wife left our home, myself and the 3 children in November.
She will not speak with me therefore I am having to text (making things sound ten times worse).
She is classing the text as harassment even though I only send them when she upsets & annoys the children after they have visited her & also as I needed answers. She ignores the text making things worse so I end up telling her what I think of her. The texts have stopped though as I have constantly asked her if we could make a effort and get on for the children's sakes.
When we do see each other in person, the way she speaks towards me is the same as my text messages, I don't have proof though as it's only face to face.
When we speak she is histerical & I think she needs help.
She is constantly threatening me with court with no ammunition.
I saw her last night in the local garage, she was with our son & I with our daughter. I asked her to stop hurting people as she has asked for a divorce on the grounds of adultery, even though I met my last girlfriend (now ex), 5 months after she left me. I am trying to point out to her there is no need to hurt other people as the woman was devastated. If there is any camera's in the garage, it will show her coming up to my car then me trying to talk to her outside the garage door asking her not to do this in front of the kids & that I will agree to divorce. It would also show her becoming histerical & driving away like a lunatic with our son in the car.
She has threatened me with blackmail as I had the burden of keeping a secret for her from the kids for years & after she left I wanted it out in the open as it hurt too much. I asked that she tell the kids before I do. Now she is classing this as blackmail.
I am having high blood pressure and have been to doctors regarding this, 140 over 100, due to the stress of the last 6 months she has given me.
I am asking is there any way she can be kept away from me or warned by the police to stay away from me as she is causing too much heart ache to myself and the children.
Can I get a injunction on her or could she on me for the text messages & making out I am harassing here? (which I'm not, just asking for a peaceful life)

Quote:

Originally Posted by milldirk

...
She is constantly threatening me with court with no ammunition.
... she has asked for a divorce on the grounds of adultery, even though i met my last girlfriend (now ex), 5 months after she left me. ...
...

Believe it when and if you see it (her suing you for divorce, that is). Until then it sounds like all bluff. If you were having a romantic relationship with another woman while still married to your wife, this is adultery. However she doesn't needs "grounds" anyway. Either of you could get a divorce basically if you ask for it, with or without "grounds" (Technically, the "grounds" would be irreconciiliable differences in most places, but it amounts to the same thing.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by milldirk

...
I am asking is there any way she can be kept away from me or warned by the police to stay away from me as she is causing too much heart ache to myself and the children.
Can i get a injunction on her or could she on me for the text messages & making out i am harassing here? (which im not, just asking for a peaceful life)

No, I doubt it. Unless she has threatened physical violence it is not likely that you will get an onjunction or protective order.

Sorry don't agree, You DO need grounds for divorce unless it's been 2 years. This is fact, hence why she has chosen adultery (getting desperate). Thanks for trying to help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by milldirk

Sorry don't agree, You DO need grounds for divorce unless it's been 2 years. This is fact, hence why she has chosen adultery (getting desperate). thanks for trying to help.

What state is this in?

Quote:

Originally Posted by milldirk

Sorry don't agree, You DO need grounds for divorce unless it's been 2 years. This is fact, hence why she has chosen adultery (getting desperate). thanks for trying to help.

I don't see anything about a 2 year limitation. What Im seeing is that fault has to be made and there are legal excuses provided under the law. Since divorce is imminent then why not file yourself and get the ball rolling?

Ref:http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/contemplating/thefacts/divorce_england_and_wales.htm

I have the divorce papers (form) on me here stating must be a 2 year break unless unreasonable behaviour/adultery. Have had 1st solicitor letter from her asking for divorce & don't have a problem just the harassment claims & wanted to know if there's any way I could have her keep her distance from me. I have now been told it's not likely I can 'on her' as it's all been face to face or over phone. No proof. Many thanks.

1. Adultery

You can use adultery as a reason for divorce if all of the following apply:

Your husband or wife has had sex with someone else of the opposite sex
You don't want to carry on living together
You decided not to continue living together within six months of the adultery happening or you finding out about it

Any sexual activity that you have been forced into, whether you are a man or a woman, is not adultery as you were not willing. Rape is therefore not adultery. Adultery is sexual activity with someone else that you choose.

To prove adultery, you will need to give the court:

Details of the adultery, for example when it happened
Statements from you and your husband or wife
An admission of adultery from your husband or wife

If your husband or wife won't admit to adultery, you might need to talk to a solicitor about what to do next.
2. Unreasonable behaviour

If your husband or wife behaves so badly that you can't carry on living together you can use 'unreasonable behaviour' as a reason for divorce.

Your husband or wife could be showing unreasonable behaviour if they:

Are physically violent to you
Are verbally abusive to you, for example through insults or threats
Fail to provide affection or attention
Don't let you leave the house
Give you reason to believe they are having an affair

You will need to provide proof of unreasonable behaviour. If your husband or wife won't admit to it, you may need to provide detailed evidence, like statements from friends or doctors.

If there has been domestic violence in your relationship you can find out how to get help by following the link below.

Domestic violence: protecting yourself and getting help (crime and justice section)

3. Desertion

You can use 'desertion' as a reason for divorce if you can prove that your husband or wife has left you:

Without your agreement
Without a good reason
For a period of more than two years in the last two and a half years
With the aim of 'deserting' you (trying to end the relationship between you)

You can have lived together for up to a total of six months within this period and still claim desertion.
4. Living separately for more than two years with agreement on both sides

You can get a divorce if you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than two years and both agree to divorce.

You can have lived together for up to a total of six months during this time if you have been apart for two years altogether.

Your husband or wife must agree in writing, so make sure you discuss it with them before filing for divorce.
5. Living separately for more than five years

If you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than five years you can use this as a reason for divorce. If this has happened, you can apply for a divorce without your husband or wife's agreement.

This will usually be enough to get a divorce. But your husband or wife can object if it will cause them 'extreme' difficulties - usually financial.

Mothers in dirty British courts usually get custody! Sexist! Tho sounds lyk your kids are grown up enough to have a say! Don't send txt as she will use against you! Don't let her cu getting annoyed as thts what she wants