I have seen other people talk about how god does not forsake his children, but I am having a hard time believeing that right now. I have had a lfe from hell pretty much from birth. I was born into a family where I was physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abused. I had to become an adult at about 8 years old, because I had to take care of my mother and my brothers and sisters. What kind of god allows that to happen? And if our life is of free will, does that mean that I choes that for my life at such a young age? And when is enough enough? I thought maybe I had already paid enough in my life to finally have some good. I had been through hell as a child and in abusive situations until my mid thirties. How much hell do you have to go through before god says OK you have had enough, now it is time for you to have a little happyness in your life now? I have been begging god for 3 things that will make my life worth living and still nothing. How should I take that? Am I supposed to think that my whole purpose in life is to used up and than just die? If so what kind of life is that? And how crule is that? Anyone have any insite to any of my crazyness? Thanks for listening.

I don't believe in God, but I understand why people do. God is someone to turn to in times of suffering and in times of great wonderment and awe. God provides meaning for people who need meaning. I often like the idea of many gods better, such as Hindus believe, to explain the vast differences between joy and pain that exist in humans.

I don't believe there is a meaning to life. We are born, we live, we die, just like all the plants and animals of the earth. We are just the most complicated animal. We want meaning. We look for beauty, truth, and love. Those to me are the 3 things that make for a meaningful life, when I, like so many people, need one.

Some people 'explain' suffering as a test of faith in God. Others say suffering is beyond explanation but if used to understand and help others who suffer, it becomes meaningful unto itself. Those who have suffered are often the ones most sensitive to the suffering of others. It still doesn't explain WHY anyone suffers (yes, especially children, and of course an 8 year old has very little free will other than trying to hide for a while), but it is a tool you can use to get you through life. For instance if you were sexually abused you could adopt or help abused children, and if that's too difficult, abused animals. If the non-childhood you had led to abusive relationships as an adult, you could carve out a life for yourself without dependence on anyone else. Some have found some peace in this. (Happiness isn't the goal so much as a sense of self and serenity, to me). This is where free will comes in, within the constraints of what you know and what is around you.

If you had asked this under Religion, I wouldn't have answered. I would have been pounced on!

God never forsakes us, never leaves us. He is ALWAYS with us. The question is, are we always living in His presence, being obedient to Him? God uses trials, perplexities, and hardships in our lives to bring us closer to Him. He uses them to draw us unto Him closer, so that we will completely surrender our will and our lives unto Him. He loves us infinitely.

You wrote this some time ago. So not sure if you are still watching for answers here. I do believe in God. But let's not go into that just now. You clearly had a tragic beginning in life and I wish I could say something to make that go away. I can't. But the very fact that you are asking these questions tells me you have potential. Really, I mean that! Have you tried reading the Bible? I know that sounds trite. But it has been known to help. Espeically the Psalms. You must have a computer and you can find the Bible there. Just my thoughts...