I married 8 months ago at the age of 20. We met online and talked for 2 years and then married only 2 months after meeting. I So I moved from the northwest all the way to the southeast to lie with him in his family's house.

We knew before we married that we shared opposing religious beliefs. His family believes in going to church every Sunday and doing things by the bible. I believe that everyone has to decide what is right for themselves. This wasn't a big deal for me. I have nothing against christians or christianity and I admired their morales. I even tried to get into church myself. This was all great.

My problem is that I just feel so controlled here. I don't get to make any decisions for myself including going back home to visit my family. They expect me to raise my children a certain way, to talk a certain way.. They won't allow us to move out even. I just feel extremely out of place. I've given up so much for my husband to be here and I feel like I keep being asked for more. I'm trying so hard to make this work and I feel like I'm having to change too much.

In all honestly I'm not sure if I can convert fully to a christian and embrace this way of life. Did I make a mistake? Or am not standing up for myself well enough? It's been so upsetting.

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Originally Posted by junkdrawer25

I married 8 months ago at the age of 20. We met online and talked for 2 years and then married only 2 months after meeting. I So I moved from the northwest all the way to the southeast to lie with him in his family's house.

We knew before we married that we shared opposing religious beliefs. His family believes in going to church every Sunday and doing things by the bible. I believe that everyone has to decide what is right for themselves. This wasn't a big deal for me. I have nothing against christians or christianity and I admired their morales. I even tried to get into church myself. This was all great.

My problem is that I just feel so controlled here. I dont get to make any decisions for myself including going back home to visit my family. They expect me to raise my children a certain way, to talk a certain way..They wont allow us to move out even. I just feel extremely out of place. I've given up so much for my husband to be here and I feel like I keep being asked for more. I'm trying so hard to make this work and I feel like I'm having to change too much.

In all honestly I'm not sure if I can convert fully to a christian and embrace this way of life. Did I make a mistake? Or am not standing up for myself well enough? It's been so upsetting.

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Well, you did jump into this very quickly... 2 months is barely time to make an informed decision to have sex much less marry. Anything before you ACTUALLY spent time face to face doesn't count...

On the other aspect... you knew this is how they were before... you can't expect everyone else to change to suit you. Its only been 8 months... most marriages you haven't settled into your routines for at least a year or two, many times three years... if you keep jumping into and out of things on impulse... you are always going to find trouble dealing with new situations. You have to give things time...

The issue is not converting to Christianity, since Christianity has nothing to do with his family controlling you seeing your family, your travel back home and more.

In fact real Christianity would have warned him first about being yoked ( married) to a non believer. But once married, he is to love you as Christ loved the church. As such it would be a mutual relationship.

Next you and he need to move out of his parents house, he needs ( if he does not have one) a job and perhaps you should have one also. This has more to do with perhaps a culture or nationality of the parents than religion.

If your husband will not start supporting you, and you and him working out the issues, without parents it is never going to work. ** unless you want to become a slave more or less

I assume you knew you would be living with him and his family, so you should have expected to make adjustments to the way they do things. I do not think the religion matters so much as your willingness to try and fit in and give this an honest effort at working.

Makes me wonder what you guys talked about for two years, that you were not better prepared for what you now encounter. Or the level of communications you have NOW!

Regardless I think you and your husband have to start establishing what you will live like, and if that cannot be done, after an honest effort, then you leave.

As far as how much control you allow someone to place over you, by husband, or his parents........................thats totally up to you! As you must adjust to them, so must they adjust to you. OR YOU LEAVE!