Ask Me Help Desk - Problem with a girl I like...

Hello,
I am a freshman in high school, and I have met a wonderful girl. She's smart, pretty, and we have the same interests. I haven't told her that I like her, and I probably never will. But I want to. This is where the problem comes in. My parents aren't the type who would let me be in a relationship at such a young age. I'm pretty sure she has some interest in me, because I'm pretty much the only guy she talks to in class, but on and off, she is a quiet person. How do I keep her close in touch, so that I can "secure" her later, without her finding another guy? She's not one of those "popular" or (excuse my language) "slutty" type girls who would hook up with a bunch of guys. But, I can see that another guy is also interested in her. He also talks to her and stuff like that. Today, she brought him and birthday balloon. I know that this means nothing as far as BF, or GF goes, but it's just a natural concern I have. If anyone can give me some advice, I would really appreciate it!

TheAsker

There really is no way you can keep someone close and in touch to secure them for later. She may be too young to date as well so the best thing you can do is be here friend and allow the friendship to grow.

Thanks for the advice, I am planning on doing that.

You both sound very young. If you're a young teen, chances are that when you're finally allowed to date, you'll no longer be interested in this girl. When you're young you fall in and out of love very easily. You'll date many girls before you actually find someone you're really in love with.

If you're not allowed to date, then that's the way it is. Your parents, like it or not, are responsible for you, and they have their reasons for this. I'd also say that if you're under 16, I agree with them. Heck, I'd even push it to 18. :)

Since you aren't allowed to date her, just be her friend. I'd bet money that when you're finally old enough to date, you won't be interested in this girl anymore. If you are, then you can ask her out then, see how she feels. But, like you, she's young, and therefore she'll do the same thing you're destined to do, date a lot of people before she actually falls in love for real.

I know, I know. You really like this girl. I have no doubt about that. I also know that at your age, falling in love is so easy, and falling out of love is just as easy. That's because you're not really in love. It's hormones, a crush, getting older, but not being mature enough to see what's real. You'll get there.

Don't stress it. You'll be dating soon enough. :)

Thanks for the reply! I have no intention of dating until I'm 16-17 either (I'm 15 btw), so that's not exactly the problem. But yeah, I am a logical person and I understand that about hormones and stuff like that, hopefully I get over her, and not get locked up in this weird thing again. However, I will definitely always be her friend, as long as she wants me to be lol :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAsker

Thanks for the reply! I have no intention of dating until I'm 16-17 either (I'm 15 btw), so that's not exactly the problem. But yeah, I am a logical person and I understand that about hormones and stuff like that, hopefully I get over her, and not get locked up in this weird thing again. However, I will definitely always be her friend, as long as she wants me to be lol :)

My son is 13, going on 14. Since he was 10 he's been in "love" with this girl in his class. They're now in the same junior high school, and he still has only eyes for her.

My parents met when they were 5 and 8. They hated each other! Then they grew up. When my dad was 18 and my mom was 21, he asked her out. At first she turned him down, she thought he was too young for her. But due to numerous events, one a major accident that my dad had that almost killed him, they fell in love, and the rest is history.

I met my husband when I was 19.

I'm not saying you can't fall in love with someone when you're young. It has happened. You sound like an intelligent 15 year old. You also listen to reason, and I respect that.

In other words, my suggestion is to wait and see. If you're both still interested when you're old enough to date, then ask her out. Don't be too upset if she shows interest in someone else, also, don't be too one minded. Give other girls a chance too. Frankly, the fact that my son has been interested in only this one girl for 3, almost 4 years, worries me a bit. Expand your horizons. You never know what's going to happen, until it happens. :)

Thank you very much for your reply, you have helped me feel a lot better about the whole thing. After thinking this over, I think I have blown this thing out of proportion and have made this more complicated than it seems, with the other guy and stuff. I'll just be friends with her as you said, and see what happens from there. Thanks again to both Alty and Homegirl 50!