Ask Me Help Desk - Relationships!

Hi ask desk help .com. I think I see the sign that is it maybe time to gave up with my fiancé and I am the man in all of this!

Well off top, she is in a wheelchair and she has care takers 24 hour and we have 2 kids. One 3 years and one 3 months.I think she does a great job with the kids because of the caretakers. But the problem is I don't feel like I love her that much anymore. Just got tired and I think she has got tired of all the *****. For me I hate the fact that I live with my kids, and I still pay child support. I lost my job a year ago, but I work for her, and she gets $800 a month on top of that her disability insurance that is $800, and she get 375 a month for the CS, and we get 546 food stamps a month.

And I feel like that I still pay for my child. She acts like it's no big deal that I have to go back to court because now they want me to pay for my 3 month old that I have been with from the beginning. Our rent is 995 a month lights, gas, cable, 179 a month, and I feel that with what we get we should feel thankful. But she keeps on saying how she needs this 375 from child support and it just keep building up on me.

We fight about it all the time because I don't not feel like it's right that I must pay with my 3 month old. And I get mad about her, and her caretakers. It seem like they yell at my 3 year old more then her. She will get mad at my daughter, and then her caretakers jump over my kid and take over.Then I feel like she acts funny around them, we can never keep our biz to ourselves and she is always has to make friends with people that get paid to help her. What should I do?

Do you get an allowance for your own needs? For your own hobbies and man time? Are you stuck at home all the time? I would be willing to bet if you had a useful way to spend your time, or were employed, this whole thing would really look different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Do you get an allowance for your own needs? For your own hobbies and man time? Are you stuck at home all the time? I would be willing to bet if you had a useful way to spend your time, or were employed, this whole thing would really look different.

I don't understand what you are saying.What would look different?

You wouldn't be at home all the time to see the daily dynamics of your household, and would have other things besides how its run if you were working.

That's why I asked about what you do with your own time that gets you away from the house. I wasn't knocking you being unemployed, if that's the basis of your question, but just suggesting there are many layers of your unhappiness.

Often in my experience, when we feel stuck at home, we see all the negatives, and none of the positives, they are hidden by our own feelings of being inadaquate, and we have no outlet, or alternatives for those feelings.

That in itself is a great frustration, for guys that find themselves at home too much. Could this be you, or NOT!! I mean is it all her, or them, or is some of this you being unhappy with circumstances, and helpless to do anything to change it??

Wow!! wait a min!you are saying that if i had a job in witch i kind of do because it brings her 800 a month that i would not see or care that i pay child support when i live with my kids and as a father who thinks my wife should be doing more on my kid then her caretaker i would not care?wow!!

That's not what I said, or implied. I was digging for additional facts, but you choose to get defensive instead of informative.