 |
Hey. I am 13 about to turn 14 and I am dating a 19 year old.. We have been dating for 5 months this month. Almost everyone has threatened me and him because of our age difference. I know it is quite the age difference. But we want too be together. Point Blank.. I need HELP!
Yes you do need help, serious help. Hopefully your parents will refuse to allow you contact and if they do not know hopefully they find out soon.
A 13 year old has no business with a 19 year old. A 19 year old man who wants to date a 13 year old child has to either be "childish" and perhaps have a mental handicap, or he is grooming the 13 year old to have sex. This is close enough to consider him a phedophile in my book.
So yes you do need help, perhaps him in jail will give it to you
Thanks for ALL of you potential support. Sorry if I am being rude, but I kind of joined this thing for ideas and support to help me . & Not for people too mention mental disabilities or jail . Yes, we both are are risking a lot but... Sometimes people need help and not people making them feel insecure.
Damn. I really do hate being lied to ! Even if people are trying to protect me. In this case they may have tried, but didn't succeed ! So... A few months ago my boyfriend moved away too South Carolina & he had recently came back to where I live Jacksonville Florida. & Yeah sure I talked to him & knew he was coming back and I talked to him on the day he came back. & So I live with my Aunt, right and she doesn't let us talk. & She is a teacher and so whenever she leaves the room I get my happy up & call him. And that's how I still get in-touch with him. & So he always called and texted my aunts cell phone telling her he was back in town to stay & he wanted to see me to surprise me. & She played it off like he didn't call or text and made it seem like he didn't give a . & then we meet up ( me & my boyfriend) & he tells me everything that happened. & How she didn't tell me about the texts and calls and how he texted her saying I was with so & so and she give him my uncles number, & he called it looking for me, and of course I wasn't with him & he starts too threaten him and say he is going to kill him & beat his & to stay away from me! & A few nights ago I snuck out trying to see my boyfriend and I get caught right, and thank goodness my boyfriend wasn't with me & my aunt tells me everything & she is yelling at me & everything and tells me what she has done out of spite & I am still VERY pissed off about everything! & I have no idea what to do or how to react to her at this point. I already knew what was going on, but it was just the fact that she lied to me! Her niece & she said that she would NEVER lie to me . & For no reason she did it.
I think 13 and 19 sounds bad now but I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 25 that's almost the same age difference as you and no one questions us because I'm over 18. My best friend is 20 dating a 30 year old and again no one says a word. I do think 13 and 19 is a bit odd. But if you go back 70 years ago that would be pretty normal. Just don't be dumb. Don't fall in love and don't give it up too early or too easily. If your parents are okay with it then nothing can really stop you.
Thank you to the person who merged the threads. To those responding, please note the post that was added.
HARSHNESS ALERT!
Sorry, but you aren't going to get any support from me for this relationship. You have repeatedly gone behind your aunt's back to stay in touch with him after she has made it clear she is against this relationship. He should have left you alone instead of encouraging you.
I don't agree with lying to you or threatening him. I think she should have contacted the police and reported him for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. There might be other charges depending on what you haven't told us.
Your actions speak much louder than anything else does. Sneaking out to meet up with him. Getting upset about her lying when you have been for how long?
I wouldn't trust you or him if I were her. If you were my child, you would be wishing for a way to win back my trust. You say she told you the truth 'out of spite'. I doubt that. Anger maybe. I would be very angry, too. Love, frustration, worry, concern, and a whole list of other emotions that you are too young to understand because all you see is this adult who wants to play games with a child.
Why are you living with your aunt?
The only people that will agree with you are 13 year old or 14 year old who think they are grown and don't see or know the danger.
This is not 100 years ago, so at 13 you are not going to be told who to marry or made to work 15 hours in the field. Of course you would not have went to school at least past grade school but would have to know how to cook and clean so your husband would not beat you too often for not being a good wife.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
I don't disagree or agree I was simply saying that in a few years that people will not give her any problems. Which was the point I was trying to make. And I was saying facts that if she doesn't tell her parent or they are okay with it then there is nothing to stop her. I remember at 13 my parents didn't know I was dating a boy who was 15 and he and we dated for 2 years. As long as she is safe and not being a naïve with the 19 year old than nothing really can be done and no legal matter can be taken until they had sex, or do something sexual even hardcore making out can be counted as a type of sex. So really the only thing any one can do is try and if her the knowledge and intelligence to know when something is not right and to stop or run away. She is young and if she is told to brake up with the 19 year old she will only try to make it work that much harder to show that it can.
Sorry if your expectations of what you would get here weren't satisfied. But we don't help people make big mistakes with their lives. A 19 yr old has NO business being romantically involved with a 13 yr old. Any intimacy between you would be illegal and get him a jail term as a sex offender. If your parents don't allow the relationship , then ANY contact with you would be illegal and get him a jail sentence.Quote:
Originally Posted by starship19
So we ARE helping you and him by letting you know that you both need to end this relationship. He should never have started it. You are too young to know better.
You complain about your aunt lying to you, but its OK for you to lie to her and sneak around behind her back.
Frankly, I hope your aunt reports your boyfriend to the police because he sure deserves to be.
I'm very curious - what kind of 'help' did you hope to get here? You have already had everyone around you tell you it's dangerous. Do you realize that the first adult, any adult, who calls the police can have him put in jail? Your boyfriend will be tried as an adult. By law, no matter how wise and careful you are and no matter how nice and sweet he is, you as a minor are considered to be not able to make decisions about sex. It's there for a reason, even if you don't agree with it. Florida is one of 11 states with the HIGHEST age of consent, 18.
'Close in age exemptions' to the Florida age of consent permit a person 23 years of age or younger to engage in legal sexual activity with a minor aged 16 or 17. A person 24 years of age or older who engages in sexual activity with a person 16 or 17 years of age commits a felony of the second degree.
Florida has Romeo and Juliet statutes as do many states now (when both of you are under the age of consent) but of course they don't apply to you and your boyfriend because he is an ADULT! By law anyway - he isn't acting like one.
Well... Maybe if I could have at least introduced him to my aunt as my friend maybe I wouldn't have had to sneak around as much as I have. And I actually offered for it to be that way.!
It is not OK for an adult to date a child. I don't know what state your from so I can't tell you specific laws, but they are there to protect you. 20 and 30 years old can date each other because they are both adults- of consenting age. You are not of consenting age. If anything sexual happens he will most likely go to jail because adults seeking to do sexual acts with children are predators. The harsh answers being given are because no good person wants to see this happen. Your aunt has the good intentions of protecting a child being pursued by an adult, she should file a police report. Stay safe, don't go out with adults till you are of consenting age- its illegal for good reason.
I'm sorry but I don't think it is right, I know you can not help who you love. But being 13 almost 14 w/e and being 19 is so different. 19 yr olds have gone through much more than you have. And are allowed to do more. It won't last. I'm sorry its not like he can marry you anytime soon. You still have about 4 yrs until your legal. I'm sorry but I doubt he will wait. Just end it now. I know it will hurt. But there is no way id ever allow my daughter to have that much of a age difference. Yes I'm glad he treats you well. But you both have such different maturity levels.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
(Sigh).. Well three days ago I broke up with my 19 year old boyfriend. Yesterday would've been our 5 month anniversary, and I felt like a royal doing it one day before our anniversary. And not too mention his birthday is Monday... & That is even WORSE me being 13 turning 14 & him being 20. But even though I feel like a douche & ing , at least I am happier & PROUD of myself for actually taking a stand(: I told him I love him, but I love him enough to wait until I am at least 16 or actually legal. But I feel good , I have straight A's & even though I miss him I love him enough to wait<3
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:07 AM. |