I think suppose to be living after 2010. I swear to god. Trust me, I am hard on myself. I'm not blaming anyone but myself in state I am in. I never thought I would think of ending my life. But it the only option. I thought I'm going to end my life die soon. Like real soon.ask anyone everyone will tell you. I am always happy always laughing making other everyone laugh, enjoying with them. But lately since year or so I feel like killing myself almost everyday. I am just holding back caz I'm married and I don't want to leave my wife alone. I wish she stays happy after me. I'm not sure when I will take it. I want to deiced time. My friends don't know who I'm. My family thinks I am just mostly angry and lousy mouth. No one knows who I am from inside. I hope after death I don't disappoint god the way I disappointed my love ones. I really regret who I am. I just hope one thing that people I loved knew who I was. :(. I don't want to write anymore. I write like few pages almost once a week then delete it every time. Since I think it's not worth talking about. If I want to end my life I just should do it one day without a word out of my head. My head hurts all the time.

Killing yourself is a disappointment to God, it is not your choice but his about your life.
So what is so bad, people don't know you? Then tell them who you are, We all make choices each day, and if you don't choose to be open with people how will they know you.

And of course ending your life is not the "only" option, in fact it is not even a real option, you walk out of the house and got o a shelter in a new city and start a new life, that is a option.

You go to counseling and find out what is bother you, that is a option.

You go rob a bank and spend 20 years in prison, that is a option ( stupid one but a option)

This is my first time writing things like this in public. I would say thanks for replying. I feel guilty all the time. I feel I'm not worth it any more all the time. I want t stop myself but I can't every day I'm losing hope. Light is feeding and tunal is ending

Everyone is worth life. Don't take your own life because you are not happy about how things are going. You should be thankful 4 your wife and all the things in your life. It shouldn't matter who knows you as long as your soulmate and god knows that's all that matters. You never know what the future may bring and if you end it now you will never know. You sound like you may be going through depression. And I myself have suffered from it. And think about it losing you may hurt a lot of people. Don't be selfish. Open up 2 your wife she maybe can bea big help. :) please cheer up

She is not my soulmate. I lost my soulmate few years back. I want to be selfish. She is know help I have try to say things indirectly... she is hurting inside and I don't wanr to hurt her. Its my fault. Fully my. I think if I go then she willl be unhappy for while but then she will always be happy... :(. Trust me not many people need me or want me.

Ending your life is a bad choice. I think that your friends don't want you to die, and neither do I. Life is worth it. The reason we live is to enjoy it

Believe me its happeing to me too so I feel u but every time u feel like doing bad to yourself just remember that your not just upseting god but hurting your loveones too.