I'm 16, and relationships mean A LOT to me. My relationship with my family isn't too great, and I'm home schooled so relationships with friends aren't the best. So when I have a boyfriend, I take it seriously. Sometimes too seriously. I think about forever when I start dating somebody, and if I don't see forever I won’t date them. I don't like to hurt. Is it bad to have relationships to mean so much to me? Is it wrong to be thinking about forever?

Its not wrong, but maybe you need other things that you enjoy, and you could relax more. Maybe you should date and have fun instead of being in a relationship. Do you think you use a relationship to replace other things in your life, like family, or a lack of friends?

To think of forever, or the rest of your life, or until you are old and grey, is a very long time into the future for being only 16.

Forever is a very long time for any age for that matter.

But what you might be missing betwteen the quick decision of whether this person is forever, is all the good stuff in the middle.

By judging a potential boyfriend too quickly, you could be missing out on developing a friendship, and that is always where any relationship starts. Maybe try thinking friend first, and allow enough time to get to know a person. Forever never has to come, and probably shouldn't come until you are at least in your 20's.

And how do you know? It comes with maturity, and experience, and not denying yourself the opportunity to date lots of guys; that way you learn what relationships are all about.

Being hurt, or trying to avoid being hurt, isn't realistic. Better to be hurt over a friendship or relationship that doesn't work out, now, than to put all your hopes and dreams on one forever relationship, and learn not only you were wrong about that person, but that you also missed a lot. You will be hurt, and confused, and go through all the emotions that being hurt entails. The bright side is, we all survive that maturing and growing, and go on to make better choices.

Try to think more of enjoying your life, your friends, your activities, etc. and less of a forever boyfriend. Friendships will last longer, and be more meaningful now, than a boyfriend.

What does being "home schooled" have with relatoinships with friend not being good ? Perhaps it is how you address friends and what you assume or expect from it.

First just friends at 16, when you are 30 you will almost never see or talk to most of them from high school ( even public school) Even at college life changes and people change and things more on, entire new friendships evolve.

Next Forever, there is no forever. There is a long time, and there is a short time, or even a life time. Few dating relationshps from high school make it past college and you need to see dating as a learning experience on relationship.s yours may, but you don't need to think long term too fast.

I think you sort of have this idealistic view of relationship. There is no such thing as a forever relationship but only a lifetime relationship which is often rare to have it with the first person you date. I think you're still young, you need to do some growing first before moving forward with your views.

Even if think you can see forever with a guy, you can't. The person you are now will not be the person you will be in 2 years, let alone 50. And even if you are one of the few that is with a guy you date at 16 - the relationship, the person you will be, he will be, cannot be what you imagined. Is how you imagined being 16 now to be as you thought it would be at 11? This is how life is: we are different human beings at different stages of our lives and without knowing it, a baton from a former self is handed on to our next self. So what you have at 16 cannot last forever even if you are with the same person, nor would you want it to - a 16 year old relationship is for 16 year olds, not 25 year olds! Which isn't to decry it: it is what it is, we were all 16 once. In addition we learn more from different relationships, which hopefully, better equips us for the one that is right. Besides, don't be in any rush, you are still very young. I suspect few people wish they had started relationships earlier in their life (assuming they didn't start late). One of the problems we face when being young is that we make big decisions (on our future) when we are least equipped to deal with them and relationships, I would guess, can cloud that world. Relationships with friends and family seem to be an issue for you, so regardless of boyfriend relationships, perhaps you should put an effort into those areas and hopefully your life will more balanced.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

What does being "home schooled" have with relatoinships with friend not being good ? Perhaps it is how you address friends and what you assume or expect from it.

First just friends at 16, when you are 30 you will almost never see or talk to most of them from high school ( even public school) Even at college life changes and people change and things more on, entire new friendships evolve.

next Forever, there is no forever. There is a long time, and there is a short time, or even a life time. Few dating relationshps from high school make it past college and you need to see dating as a learning experience on relationship.s yours may, but you don't need to think long term too fast.

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Being home schooled just prevents me from seeing or talking to friends as much.. that's what I was meaning . But thanks , that helped .