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My 4 children are devastated! Our pet dog died last night in her sleep, and they did not want to watch my husband burry it! How can I make them feel better? I loved that dog too but my kids are my first priority! I want to make them feel better without spoiling them!
Make up a special memorial service for your family. Ask the kids to draw pictures and write poems or stories about their pet and then read them out loud at the "service." Put those remembrances in a spiral notebook or folder with pockets so they can read them any time they want to. At this little service, plant a pretty bush or some perennials on or near the grave as a memorial. Find a flagstone or pretty rock and print/paint the dog's name on it and then put it on the grave.
And of course, somewhere along the line, go to a shelter and adopt another dog as an honor to your beloved pet.
This is a hard time, and I've been there very recently myself. We lost our second dog in 5 months just a week ago today.
Death is a part of life. I would sit them down, explain to them that sadly things like this happen. A dog's life is very short compared to ours, and if we choose to have a dog in our lives, we'll eventually have to deal with losing that dog.
I can understand them not wanting to watch the burial. That's a very hard thing for kids to witness, and if they're young, I wouldn't want them to witness it. I don't think that their refusal to watch dad bury the dog is abnormal. In fact, I think it's a very normal reaction to a very traumatic event.
They will feel bad for some time. I would talk to them about all the good times you had with the dog, ask them if they'd want to give up those good times in order to spare them the suffering they're going through now. Look at pictures, talk about your dog, ask them how they feel, and let them talk about it.
If they're old enough a journal may help. They can write their thoughts and feelings down, say things that they may not want to say to you.
WG mentioned getting another dog. I completely agree with that, and in fact, that's what we've done. Our recent loss was quick and very unexpected. Our dog was not young, but until a week before he passed he was completely healthy and we never in a million years thought that we'd lose him this quickly.
We got a new puppy, to bring some life back into our hoouse. My kids love the new puppy, but still mourn for our Jasper. That's normal, natural, and I know that no matter how much time goes by, they'll always miss Jasper. But, now they have someone to give their love to, and that's important too, especially when you choose to have dogs in your life.
The sad fact is, no dog you bring into the home will ever outlive you. You have to choose to give your heart, and then have your heart broken. You also have to choose to give your heart to someone new, because that's part of having dogs.
I wish you all the best, and I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Yes, fix up a memory book, my son ( he is 12 now) still has a 8 X 10 photo of his first dog on a shelf in his room, has a stuff dog named after him. We do things regularly for animal shelter in the dogs name.
When m first pet died, my dad took care of the dirty work but later that week my moma and I went and bought a special tree, we planted in memory of my dog. We also got a balloon and let it go. I guess she thought the balloon was symbolic to the pain. It helped me a lot planting the tree, taking care of the little seedling really helped take my mond off it, plus Ihad something that would live for a very long time to help me remember my pooch.
That's a great way to help a child through the loss of a pet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell
For every pet we've lost I've done something special just for the kids. Especially the dogs. When we decided it was time for Indy we asked if the kids wanted to come to the vet and be present. I was very relieved when they said no, because I knew I couldn't be strong for them then. I'm glad that their last memory of Indy was not on the table in the vets office, alive one minute, gone the next. I wouldn't allow them to go to the cremation, mainly because hubby's cousin did it, and I didn't want them to forever associate Uncle Dave's place with the place that Indy was cremated.
For Jasper we didn't even give them an option, mainly because we didn't know that's what we'd end up doing. Even if we had known, I wouldn't have wanted them to experience the euthanasia of the dog we all loved.
But for both Indy and Jasper we had a memorial, the kids wrote down their thoughts in a letter. Syd shared hers, Jared kept his private, which is fine.
Death is part of life. They'll experience death all throughout their lives, and learning how to grieve isn't easy. It's something I think has to be taught, it's not something we naturally know how to do, because it's such an unnatural thing.
Thank you for the thoughts of our dog (Tilly). Colten and I decided to get a baby apple tree to plant beside the burial site. So now the kids like that every time the tree grows apples they could go collect them! When the kids choose an apple, they take a bite every time they think of a memory they had with Tilly.
I think the apple tree is a wonderful idea, my eyes welled up when I read it.
Pets are so special to the people who love them, and this way Tilly will continue to give to your children.
I am sorry for your families loss, I remember having to tell my children when their 15 year old dog passed (neither child had lived a day without her) it was one of the hardest things I ever did.
But I think you have found a way to help them deal in a healthy way.
Bless you all and enjoy the harvest and the memories.
Thank you so much!
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