Ask Me Help Desk - I want a logical and a benifital solution ?

I am in love with my best friends girl ever since they started dateing each other. Since four years I am waiteing for a miracle to happen, which is a distant dream . She is just so perfect... now I am 30 yrs and still single and the reason is I didn't wanted to loose myself in the matters of the heart . I am very ambitious and I kept ignoreing the fact that I am in love with her . She is like a mirrior I see myself in :) I am struggleing to settle down financially. Her thoughts keep bothering me and I want to get out or get in this situation called love. I dated a few girls before but she is the 0ne as I see . I even spoke about my feelings to her and she said no . My best friend and I are not friends any more because of this. She didn't even give me a chance to explain . I hope one day I make up to her . But at the same time I deffnietly have to focus on my career . We both are perfectly compatiabe . And the bottom line is I need her by hook or by crook.. stuck with my ID and super ego

Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her . I have been waiteing for this personality which she posses and she fits .

There are fine line between being obsessed and being practical.

Staying in love ( and it can't be real love since you are not in a relationship with her) but in general you should be happy for your friend and try and move on.

This sounds like the voice of a very selfish person. You say you're ego driven and from what you've written I can't disagree. Why not feel pride for your friend and respect for his boundries, as well of the woman that you claim to love? Do you really expect this course of action to work?

Its time for you to move on.
Both parties have said that you have no chance with this woman.

Accept their loyalty & love for each other.
If you have to, move away from them.
But DON'T substitute someone else for this woman. It won't be fair on either of you. Each woman is her own person and shouldn't be fitted into someone else's box.

Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her .

<<Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her .>>

Gosh I cannot believe you wrote that... TWICE!!
Do you call that LOVE?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LBP

Have fun with that.

I don't leave a task until it is totally taken care of... I am not a flake and of course I am having with it already .

Thanks guys... but I still don't understand... if this isn't love then what is love actually ? This is a confuseing concept

<<what is love ?>>

Well I'm still trying to figure that one out... but definitely big bank accounts and games and egos do not come into it.

I sort of imagine you as looking like the evil robot from the movie ROBOTS, mark. Is that accurate? Do you really mean these things that you say?

Quote:

Originally Posted by markdiaz

i am in love with my best friends girl ever since they started dateing eachother. since four years i am waiteing for a miracle to happen, which is a distant dream . she is just so perfect ... now i am 20 yrs and stil single and the reason is i didnt wanted to loose my self in the matters of the heart . i am very ambitious and i kept ignoreing the fact that i am in love with her . she is like a mirrior i see myself in :) i am struggleing to settle down financially. her thoughts keep bothering me and i wanna get out or get in this situation called love. i dated a few girls before but she is the 0ne as i see . i even spoke about my feelings to her and she said no . my best friend and i are not friends any more coz of this. she didnt even give me a chance to explain . i hope one day i make up to her . but at the same time i deffnietly have to focus on my career . we both are perfectly compatiabe . and the bottom line is i need her by hook or by crook ..stuck with my ID and super ego

Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts ... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . this is clear and this is the reason i see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an acheivement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. life is strictly business for me and this is a game but i really care for her . i have been waiteing for this personality which she posses and she fits .

Hi markdiaz,

You have been brought up with a whole different perception on the right way to capture your woman. Yes, big bank accounts are nice but they don't mean a thing if the girl isn't attracted to you physically or mentally and no amount of money will reel her in. She's told you NO! You and her boyfriend (your ex mate) have already fallen out because of this and don't talk any more. You ask what REAL love is... let me define it for you as I see it okay?

If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.

Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

Erm... I don't see anything there about money being the pull do you? You can't be in love with her if that love isn't reciprocated. You are infatuated with her, obsessed even and that obsession is turning into a game... you WILL get her, but you know something.. You won't! Trust me on this one, all you WILL do is make a total fool out of yourself. Have some respect for yourself Markdiaz and give up the chase, you really are fighting a losing battle here. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!!

Eve

I can't just let her go away as she deserves to be with me more than him . Its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatible with . Bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control.. you call that love ? And even if they do love each other one of them is inferior no matter what... and they live with this flaw . If you are not financially setteled yet and you found a girl who loves ou for who you are which is an illusion... or you got married and have a super career but still either she leads or you... loosers get successful women because they choose them as their puppet .

You have already overstepped the boundaries, and lost a friend as a result, not healthy. You continue to pursue and she shot you down, but you persist, this also is not healthy. You think love is a game to be played, not healthy. You think you can buy love, oh so unhealthy. Forget about finding love and get a healthier outlook on life, as you have got life and BS all mixed up.

<<<i don't leave a task until it is totally taken care of>>>
LBP ha could not rate you... more like someone from starwars perhaps ;-)

<<its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatible with >>

Maybe that's the problem Mark, you are looking for yourself, some of the best relationships I know have totally different personalities, opposites atttract. Finding someone to compliment you instead.

<<bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control>>

Nooo way!! I like a strong guy! There should be a balance of the power and control

I don't know what kind of women you are meeting?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AskEve

Hi markdiaz,

You have been brought up with a whole different perception on the right way to capture your woman. Yes, big bank accounts are nice but they don't mean a thing if the girl isn't attracted to you physically or mentally and no amount of money will reel her in. She's told you NO! You and her boyfriend (your ex mate) have already fallen out because of this and don't talk any more. You ask what REAL love is... let me define it for you as I see it okay?

If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.

Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

Erm.... I don't see anything there about money being the pull do you? You can't be in love with her if that love isn't reciprocated. You are infatuated with her, obsessed even and that obsession is turning into a game... you WILL get her, but you know something...? You won't! Trust me on this one, all you WILL do is make a total fool out of yourself. Have some respect for yourself Markdiaz and give up the chase, you really are fighting a losing battle here. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!!!

Eve

A different perception ? And by the way all that you have metioned above about feelings... understanding.. connection... and all those nice words . Why do people want to waste their time with all the communication don't they have their career to take care of ? And congragulations you have found the perfect mate as your words say you really found the puppet of your dreams .

Quote:

Originally Posted by markdiaz

i can't just let her go away as she deserves to be with me more than him . its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatiable with . bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control ..you call that love ? and even if they do love each other one of them is inferior no matter what ... and they live with this flaw . if you are not financially setteled yet and you found a girl who loves ou for who you are which is an illusion ... or you got married and have a super career but still either she leads or you .... loosers get successfull women coz they choose them as their puppet .

A perfect example of the difference between life and BS. If any post deserves a red square this one does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rol

<<<i dont leave a task until it is totally taken care of>>>
LBP ha could not rate you...more like someone from starwars perhaps ;-)

<<its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatiable with >>

maybe thats the problem Mark, u are looking for yourself, some of the best relationships i know have totally different personalities, opposites atttract. Finding someone to compliment you instead.

<<bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control>>

nooo way!!! i like a strong guy! there should be a balance of the power and control

i dont know what kind of women you are meeting???!!!!!!!

A possibiltiy your personality triat is optimistic , social , jovile , carfree . So that's the reason you want someone strong to protect you... as they say opposites attract...

Markdiaz... you say "why do people wanna waste their time with all the communication dont they have their career to take care of ? and congragulations you have found the perfect mate as your words say you really found the puppet of your dreams ."

I don't see the word "puppet" mentioned in there once, does anyone else? You ask why do people want to wast time by communicating?" Duhhhhhh are you on the same planet here? Relationships NEED to be worked at! Sounds to me that your career is your God, so go on, pursue your career, I hope you and your paper money will be very happy together. The way you're thinking, that's about all you're going to have to talk to as you get older - your money! Lol Women aren't a commodity, they're a person, with feelings, they need to be loved and nurtured and in turn they'll do the same for their mate. Seems to me you need to learn the basics mate. Money doesn't buy you love and it never will.

Eve

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You have already overstepped the boundaries, and lost a friend as a result, not healthy. You continue to pursue and she shot you down, but you persist, this also is not healthy. You think love is a game to be played, not healthy. You think you can buy love, oh so unhealthy. Forget about finding love and get a healthier outlook on life, as you have got life and BS all mixed up.

Maybe you are right... I better go to the therapist who counsels you... hats off to him he in fact did a good job . Healthy healthy healthy eat you pills on time .