I there I am with my wonderful guy for three years now - and the usual story with sex when we got together first we were making love all the time - lately I don't want to have sex sometimes I don't even want him to touch me - I am 40 and he is 53 - I really really am in love with this man and cannot understand my feelings - of course he is getting frustrated about this and has asked me what is wrong and I am unable to tell him - I love cuddling and kissing but when it comes to anything more I don't want it - my doctor has told me that I am at the early stages of the menopause and I am wondering is this the cause - when I see his sad face I feel so bad that I just can't give him what he wants and he thinks I have fallen out of love with him - but I have not - is there anyone who could help me - I would really appreciate your responses to this problem

What do you define as "all the time" is that three or four times a day or just every day?

Once a day is normal at that age... 4 or 5 times a day would be exceptionally hard rate to maintain.

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Originally Posted by Veryhappybut

I there I am with my wonderful guy for three years now - and the usual story with sex when we got together first we were making love all the time - lately I dont want to have sex sometimes I dont even want him to touch me - I am 40 and he is 53 - I really really am in love with this man and cannot understand my feelings - of course he is getting frustrated about this and has asked me what is wrong and I am unable to tell him - I love cuddling and kissing but when it comes to anything more I dont want it - my doctor has told me that I am at the early stages of the menopause and I am wondering is this the cause - when I see his sad face I feel so bad that I just can't give him what he wants and he thinks I have fallen out of love with him - but I have not - is there anyone who could help me - I would really appreciate your responses to this problem

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I see there are lot of people viewing my question but there is no on responding to me! Help someone! If they have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it

Early stages will bring on changes that are not wellcome. Discuss this further with your doctor but be cautious of hormone therapy, it has fallen out of favor due to horiffic side effects. To be blunt, in the meantime, you may need to beyond your comfort zone. I am not intending to sound mean but it sounds like your are in your personal comfort zone with no wiggle room. He wants sex, you don't, so the both of you don't have sex. On a different level of relationships I do not like painting the living room but my wife really want a new color. Guess what I am going to do, paint the living room.

Please rate my answer so I'll know if I helped. Good luck.

I agree please check with your doctor about hormone levels and any medications that you are on. I am only 22 and my birth control had me going through the same thing. I have been off for 3 months now and everything is great again. I didn't want it because of the pain and lack of libido (and much more). All of which were caused by the med's. And the funny thing is I never noticed the changes because they were so gradual.

My mother hit early menopause at 43. It is not uncommon now a days. In regards to the sex, you don't want to so he must not get any? Your hand or mouth is great and will not take long. He is satisfied and you move on. Believe me "most men" do not want the full on sex sessions.

Good luck to you.

I'm no where near meno-pause but I know that my mum complained of the same thing. She married a younger man and was worried about letting him down. I think it is normal and a phase you will go through. If this man loves you he will understand how you are feeling if you tell him. Also I am impressed that at 53 he wants to have sex everyday. I'm 22 and I don't hhave the time or the energy to do it every day!

There are many ways that you can satisfy a man without having intercourse. You could at least satisfy him that way, other wise he might start to looking for it else where.

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Originally Posted by Veryhappybut

I there I am with my wonderful guy for three years now - and the usual story with sex when we got together first we were making love all the time - lately I dont want to have sex sometimes I dont even want him to touch me - I am 40 and he is 53 - I really really am in love with this man and cannot understand my feelings - of course he is getting frustrated about this and has asked me what is wrong and I am unable to tell him - I love cuddling and kissing but when it comes to anything more I dont want it - my doctor has told me that I am at the early stages of the menopause and I am wondering is this the cause - when I see his sad face I feel so bad that I just can't give him what he wants and he thinks I have fallen out of love with him - but I have not - is there anyone who could help me - I would really appreciate your responses to this problem

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Well are you in menopause? Do you really find him attractive and does he fulfill your needs and desires? Or do you day dream about some one else? Is it fun? Menopause or not relations are always tricky, but are you deeply attract to him? On all levels?