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-   -   Is it wrong for my husband to have female "friends"? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=654257)

  • Apr 25, 2012, 06:26 AM
    spearschic
    Is it wrong for my husband to have female "friends"?
    My husband and I have been married for 6 years and it has been a very rocky marriage. The last several years his work took him on the road. He spent a year in England and then the past 2 years in different states in the US. We live in Florida. I have found out that while in England there was a lady he spent time with. They went hiking, picnicing, etc. He said he enjoyed her company but they never had a relationship. He claims when he found out she wanted more than friendship, he ended it. Then while he was working in Oregon, he met a bartender. I have seen pictures of the two of them hugging, her sitting on his lap straddling him with his hand on her butt, etc. He says there was nothing going on between them but he sure looked happy in the pictures. I want to believe that he never had a sexual relationship with these women but he did spend time with them. I get very upset whenever I think about it.

    My question is: is it okay for a married man to have this type of friendship with other girls? He says there is nothing wrong with it because they don't have sex. I say once you are married, you can have female friends but you don't hang out with them and do as he did.
  • Apr 25, 2012, 12:08 PM
    mmresd
    Of course not, if you feel like it is wrong you need to work on your confidence and self esteem. I can honestly say that I am a loyal type of guy, and yet most of my friends are girls. You need to trust your husband.
  • Apr 25, 2012, 12:17 PM
    none12345
    It is not wrong to have female friends once you are married, however that sitting on his lap thing may be a little too iffy for me. Nevertheless, you ll need to trust him in order for the relationship to work.
  • Apr 25, 2012, 09:26 PM
    talaniman
    I think you trust a guy as long as you feel he isn't hiding anything. He doesn't seem to be. I mean was he hiding the picture of him with a female on his lap, at a bar?

    But maybe all that traveling, and separation has you jealous, suspicious, or insecure. Just don't act on those feelings with out real facts.
  • Apr 25, 2012, 09:47 PM
    michaelslife
    When in a relationship for a certain amount of time you can tell when something's fishy or something's wrong. The fact is you need to trust your husband BUT if his behavior bothers you then he should have enough respect to confort your feelings. Also if your married you are reliant on your spouse and shouldn't be fan-angling with other people. To be completely honest, your husband is on the road for long periods meeting woman and having friendships with them. Plus if you truly know your husband and feel how you do then maybe a good talk about how feel is in order. I know I wouldn't want my wife's to be grabbed or her sitting on anyone's lap while away..

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