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-   -   What should I do after finding out my boyfriend is into disturbing porn? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=654059)

  • Apr 24, 2012, 02:59 PM
    tunni
    What should I do after finding out my boyfriend is into disturbing porn?
    I was on my bf's phone, attempting to use Google when the recent search came up showing "preteen porn" "beastiality" and "incest" I am very worried about this. We have been dating for a year and a half and during that time I had assumed like most men he would watch porn from time to time but I never imagined anything like this. I mentioned that I saw his weird porn searches but never actually initiated a conversation. I don't know if I should leave him everything else in our relationship is good but this seriously weirds me out.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 03:01 PM
    Wondergirl
    How old is he?13? 34? 47?
  • Apr 24, 2012, 04:31 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Web searches does not mean he looks at it, and most likely you accused him ?

    But perhaps someone mentioned it, and he wanted to see a site someone talked about. Being a expert here I look at and search some of the stangest sites you can think of, makes those sites seem like nothing from the research we do here at times.

    So you basic have not seen him watching it, did not see any sites he watched, just saw names in a search engine?
  • Apr 24, 2012, 05:44 PM
    tunni
    Well I then looked at the web history and saw he did go to websites for the preteen porn but his history only goes back a day. He is 26 years old.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 05:51 PM
    tunni
    It's also upsetting because we had sex that day and the day before and I had off work and was literally home all day. I'm just saying he didn't need the porn to be satisfied. I must've been in the shower or something. It makes me wonder if this is more frequent than I would've thought.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 05:53 PM
    Wondergirl
    So you are actually against his looking at any kind of porn.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 05:55 PM
    odinn7
    The porn part I can understand but if he is really looking for pre-teen porn, then I would have an issue with that.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 06:01 PM
    Wondergirl
    So he may have looked just out of curiosity and won't ever again.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 06:25 PM
    tunni
    I don't really mind him looking at porn I mean it's a little bothersome that he didn't just come get me but I can easily let that go. I believe it's normal for him to want to watch porn I wouldn't ever try to restrict that I'm just more concerned about the type of porn. That is a good point though I only have seen something like this once. But the history showed he searched it today and last night for the preteen porn.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 08:11 PM
    Cat1864
    On his looking at porn on your day off: People can and will look at porn and not masturbate. So, he may looked but that doesn't mean he was getting off. He could have been simply looking for ideas or any other reasons. It doesn't necessarily mean he was looking to get off.

    As for the disturbing porn, talk to him. Stop looking at his history and searching for 'evidence'. Don't beat around the bush or hint at wanting to talk. Tell him you need to talk. Tell him that you are concerned about what you saw in the History. Pre-teen porn can be adults dressed as minors, but some crosses the line into child pornography. There is a big difference between role playing and actually searching out pictures of children. It may also be that the site he meant to go to was hijacked. Even if it opened for a second it will show up in the History.

    He is the only one who can tell you why and what he was thinking. If it was curiosity. If it was an interest. If it was a 'wrong' link. If it was a boredom thing?

    How he acts and/or reacts may help you decide if you want to stay or if you should move on.
  • Apr 24, 2012, 08:51 PM
    tunni
    We have sex usually 3-4 times a week sometimes less and there have been odd periods where we haven't had sex for a couple weeks but that's not too frequent. I appreciate the feedback I have already received. My initial reaction was to freak out but some good points were made and it's helping me look at different perspectives. I agree I definitely need to talk to him.
  • Apr 25, 2012, 10:18 AM
    SentientAndroid
    Yeah don't freak out about it. I'm a very curious person by nature and Google has it all. I've looked up and seen videos of women with horses, men with horses... 2 Girls, 1 Cup *shudders, but that was all due to my curious nature, I have absolutely zero interest in that type of stuff. My wikipedia searches are even more diverse, so don't make a big deal out of it.

    Casual porn watching shouldn't be a big deal at all. I watch porn. I've been with a few chicks that watched porn with me. I think all men watch porn if they have access to it, so don't sweat it.

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