I was in a relationship for 4 years, I did everything I could to make sure he was happy, I spoiled him. Everything he wanted from me, he would get it. We were happy for the most part, he didn't have a great job so I didn't expect him to buy me things and take me to all these fancy places... I'm not materialistic. His family, including his mother absolutely LOVED me! She and I were, and still are very close friends.

The relationship officially ended a month ago. He has not reached out to me andIi have not reached out to him either.. but I kind of felt like it was over way before that. However, just weeks and even days before the break up he would tell me how much he loved me and wanted to give me the world because I deserved it and he was sorry for everything he has ever done...

Throughout the 4 years I dealt with him talking to 2 girls, one of the girls was way younger and she and I eventually got into a physical altercation. I stayed with him, forgave him and he always denied her and said she was "nothing" but I still kept hearing/seeing that they were still talking and seeing each other... Then he started talking to a different girl who is also a few years younger then me... and he denied her as well but I kept hearing about it and eventually would see pictures of them together... and he WOULD STILL DENY IT... It even got to the point where I loved him so much but I couldn't trust him, so I would follow him or I would go to places I would think he was at just to see if his car was there... WHICH IT WAS... (it was the girls house)...

I stayed with him, continued giving him everything until last month when I saw in his phone that he was calling the girl "babe" and making plans to see her... it was then that I had enough... I told him I didn't want to deal with it anymore... and it was over... one month later I miss him... wish he would think of me like I think of him... wish he would miss me like I miss him... and overall, I just wish he would realize what a good girl I was even though I had my flaws of "being a psycho" like he says.. just because he was caught... I don't know what to think... I have been living my life as if he were never to come back... and now I hear from his mother that he says the reason we aren't together is because I would follow him, and I was a psycho"... that hurts because I know the truth behind it all :| what do you guys think is going through his mind?

I think he doesn't love you. That's harsh, but that's what I think.

He might love you but need a variety of women. I don't know. You refer to "younger" women. Are you older than he is?

Loving so much does cause a person to follow the other person, go to places to check on his car - that's called stalking, not love. I actually get PAID to check up on people and I suggest people not hire me because if it's reached that stage they already know the answer. You actually got into a physical altercation with another woman over him?

Would I walk away if someone were following me around? Yes. That type of activity frightens me because you never know where the other person will draw the line. Is kicking my door down next?

Of course you miss him - it was a 4 year relationship. I think you've got to let it go.

You can't make someone follow your rules and you can't make someone love you.

Yes I'm a year older then him, but the girls were at least 3-4 years younger.. and I would never go to the extreme as to kicking his door down or making a scene, I would just drive passed, but I would tell him that I did so that he knew I knew. But the last time I did that was long before the break up... he just brings it up now as if that were the reason why we ended, when really I'm the one who ended it because of what I found out.

Then I completely don't understand your question.

Then read it again.. it obviously says "what goes through his mind" does he miss me, does he think of me, or was it really that easy to let go a month later a relationship that lasted 4 years... after everything I did for him besides me trying to catch him up I was one hell of a good girlfriend to him..

Yes, it's that easy to let go.
Have you never done it to some guy?
I've done it without so much as a thought, and I have had it done to me and was as devastated as you are.
'After everything I did for him' means NOTHING to someone who isn't in love anymore. At least not now. He might someday go on and on about how wonderful you were, but for now, he wants to play the field, and that's that.

Sorry but that's what happens when you give your heart to a lying cheater. At least you have ended that saga, and yet he still lies, and if he lies to his mother, he will lie to you.

What's on his mind? More lying and cheating, to whom ever falls for his crap. Prat for his other victims and hope they wake up finally, like you did. Leave his mama alone too, because all she will do is keep his memory alive.

Sorry, but now that you have your freedom, make the most of it, and choose better next time.

It is time to move on, keep busy, and stop thinking about him so much. The moment you two broke up is the moment his life becomes none of your business, and even though there are still feelings there, the decision has been made. You don't need to make him miss you, you need to try your best not to miss him.

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Originally Posted by cathystar_

then read it again..it obviously says "what goes through his mind" does he miss me, does he think of me, or was it really that easy to let go a month later a relationship that lasted 4 years....after everything i did for him besides me trying to catch him up i was one hell of a good girlfriend to him..

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Then read it again? YOU ended the relationship: "when really im the one who ended it because of what i found out" He's doing what you wanted. He's walked away BECAUSE you ended the relationship.

Apparently you answered your own question - he didn't think you were such a hell of good girlfriend to him. What you think is immaterial.

I ended the relationship because I had to, because if I didn't it would be a continuous cycle. But that doesn't mean I stopped loving him, or that I wouldn't miss him, it was a 4 yr relationship, full of both good and bad times.. he knows I was a good girlfriend, he used to say it all the time.. but he made mistakes he couldn't take back and I forgive him. My question from the getgo was "Whats on his mind", does he miss me or think of me.. not what judykaytee thought I did right or wrong... I appreciate you responding and trying to give me your opinion but don't try to attack.. have you not lost someone you love, not wanting to lose them? If not then don't reply because obviously if you can't relate then you can't even begin to understand the concept of what it feels like.

Oh please, we do not attack you. That's in response to your question, "Whats on his mind?". How would we know, as we don't know him or you. No one can know what's on his mind if you don't. We can only comment on what's he done from what you have written, but we do know why you ask because we have been there done that. This has hurt you greatly, and we can relate and understand.

Its obvious no matter what you did for him, all he cared about was what he wanted for himself. He was a selfish b@stard who lied and cheated, so it doesn't matter what he told you, just what he did. But you already know this, that's why you dumped him.

Now let the healing begin, and it has, as evident by your anger. We know it still hurt though, of course we can relate. What you are the only one who has been hurt? I don't think so, you are hurt now, while we have already healed. Your turn.

It was over for him a long time ago. That is part of the problem. To you, the break up is new, still fresh, and painful. You still have many unanswered questions about why things happened the way that they did... the "what went wrong" and "why wasn't I good enough" sort of questions.

To him, it's likely just the final stage as he already had one foot out the door quite awhile back. His thoughts were no longer just on you, the relationship, or trying to keep you interested.

As was said, no one knows what he may or may not be thinking.

You won't see it now, but in time you will likely consider yourself lucky to have him out of your life. At some point you will meet someone who doesn't cheat on you or cause you to wonder whether they are thinking about you or someone else.

Consider this: He wasn't what you thought he was, he wasn't what you truly wanted, he wasn't what you needed. Now you are free to heal and find someone who is.