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-   -   Distant Flings. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=653831)

  • Apr 23, 2012, 08:42 PM
    mrsnathansykes
    Distant Flings.
    Okay, so here's the thing... a couple of months ago my best friends and I went on vacation. I met this guy from Europe. He was really shy but after a few drinks he was always a lot more social and fun. We hooked up a few times during the trip and for the duration of our holiday he treated me like his girl (going dancing, taking walks, staying up all night talking for hours almost every night, introducing me to his friends, holding me in public, etc... ).

    When holiday was over we exchanged facebooks and promised to keep in contact. He added me the moment he got home, and the first weeks were great, always talking wondering about each others day. Now, let me make this clear, I never expected anything, clearly we live worlds apart, but I at least wanted us to keep in touch and remain friends.

    As the weeks went by we drifted a part and frankly I got tired of always initiating the conversation I didn't want to seem like some clingy girl he met on holiday, and I know he's shy and all, but come on, grow some balls! Anyway, I was just wondering, cause I'm interested in staying in contact with him. How do I get him to want me as a friend, or to stay in contact?
  • Apr 23, 2012, 08:52 PM
    none12345
    Sometimes long distance relationship don't work, trust me I know. To me it just seemed like you guys had a good time together and a romantic vacation. Now its time to get back to reality, go back to your own life again. If its meant for you two to be together, you ll find your way to each other one day. I'd say you should stop contacting him and focus on your own life now. If he wants you in his life, he will make an effort to reach you. If you just keep thinking about this, trying to make it work, to me that just seems like a waste of time. It is very hard to make a long distance relationship work.
  • Apr 23, 2012, 08:53 PM
    Kahani Punjab
    Mrs. Nathan Skyes,

    First, I shall like to welcome you to this wonderful and beautiful site.

    Your problem is not uncommon. You must talk to him. If you really respect or honour him and want to befriend him genuinely, just be with him. Tell him of your apprehensions, and ask him what he wants. Exchange of words is something that will surely open up a new world. Do not be shy, and also ask him to open up. Ask what his passions are, what excites him, what would he like you to wear, how would he like your hair/cut/style to be. There are many things, which you can suggest to him, and by and by your intimacy will grow up and deepen. Outings are another source of mixing.

    Another way is to neglect him, as if he has ditto feelings for you, he will surely return, after all it takes two to make a row. Attraction must be from both sides for a pair to be successful and fair. Do not linger on the past and start the life anew.

    Both of the above options are fine. First choose first and then if it fails, follow the other. Good luck!
  • Apr 23, 2012, 10:31 PM
    talaniman
    You expect this shy guy to initiate more? I don't think so. Doesn't seem to be his style, and shy though he may be he probably has his own life. You want him as a friend, initiate more. Maybe if he knew what you wanted he would try more, but wanting him to grow some balls and give you a lot of attention, may not be his idea as something to do.

    Its hard to keep once in a lifetime vacation flings alive, and most are best left to sweet memories, not forced friendships. So either initiate more, or forget it. You shouldn't try to make people be friends, or give you friendly attention, they should want to do that themselves.

    Sorry, there are no tricks to making some one give you friendly attention.
  • Apr 27, 2012, 03:50 PM
    mmresd
    Grow some balls? Have you though that maybe he just didn't find you that interesting? Why insult a person with the minimal information you know about him?

    These things happen all the time, being with someone at one point might not be as exiting on a long distance basis, it is time to move on, if he is not showing interest then you should return the favor.

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