Me and my boyfriend having only been dateing for a few months. I enjoy sex and like it regular. My last boyfirendshad no problems and we had sex just about every day. I really like my new boyfriend and sex with himi s amazing but we weren't having it a lot. And I felt rejected a lot and like I wasn't attracted to him. I brought up the subject saying that I really enjoy sex with him and want to have it more, I explained that I understood he works long hours during the week and we can't have it every day but I would like I more then just once I week. I mean this is a new relationship, shouldn't he not be able to take his hands off me? EVerythign was going fine and we started haivng sex more oftern, not every day I understod when he was tire. The other night we had a huge fight and he told me that he feels like I only want him for sex and he feels pressure from me. It seems so out of left field because lately he's been the one initiating it and he is so affectanate, which he has always been. I've never complained when he hsas said no since our conversation about having more sex. We have a great time doing things and having great conversations. It's not like I'm always dragging him into the bed room, or if were at a local restaurant and making him have sex with me. I'm just very honest were sex is concerned and I enjoy it. Now I don't know what to do? Should I just stop talking about it? Should I stop initiating it? I did tell him that wasn't true that I love him for him not for his sex and that sex is just part of a healthy relationship.

That is a tough one. You said he works long hours through out most of the week and he is tired from that. Exhaustion, mental and physical, is a bit of a libido killer. So his sex drive is understandably low.

Also you've told him that he wasn't holding up his end of the sex bargain. You hit him right in the male ego. It sounds like you have very little 'us' time and a lot of it goes to sex.

I think you should just back off a little and settle for a little intimacy instead of sex. Just enjoy him and if he gets ideas... so be it. If not... just as good. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship, but if it is causing strife than it can be the breaking point.

Another thing to consider is if this is going to be a permanent thing. Mismatched libidos can cause issues later on in the relationship. Just something to think about.

I have a question for you: Is he initiating sex or is he trying to be affectionate and enjoy being with you in an intimate way without intending to have intercourse? Is he really the one turning a cuddle into penetration or is he 'giving in' when you test the boundaries of what he is wanting?

If he thinks all you want is sex, try not to get defensive and say 'but you initiate it.' Take a step back and look at the picture from his point of view. See how your actions and words may be putting some pressure on him. See if you may have some communication issues that need to be worked out. Maybe some mixed signals are occurring?

Being open about what you like and want can be great. However, you also have to listen to the needs of your current partner. What the ex wanted and did is not a part of your current relationship. If you are bringing him up even in your own thoughts, then you are, in a way, comparing the current with the ex. Not good in any part of the relationship. Not fair to anyone involved either.

Once a week may not sound like much to you, but if he has a busy work schedule and has a place of his own to keep up, then his time is limited. You can either accept it and see if there is a chance of improvement for your time together (for example a major project at work is completed and he has more free time) or you decide that the amount of time isn't enough and move on.

Is it the sex itself you enjoy or the feeling you get during sex that you are loved and treasured? If he is able to find ways other than sex to show how much he loves and treasures you, would that be okay?

When he is intimate it is to lead to sex. I mean when we're out we hold hands, he puts his arm around me, etc. He does inititate sex I feel just about as much as I do. For example a few nights ago he wanted to watch a movie and I went to bed. I was sleeping and he came into the bed and initiated sex with me. We do sleep and cuddle with out having.

I just feel like it is out of the blue because when we had the conversation about more sex he seemed to agree with me and was all for it. It's not like I walk into the house and am like talk your pants off. I have backed off but I just am nervouse by me backing off something else will change.

Should I asking him why he feels like that? Or what am I doing that ismaking him feel pressured? I'm slightly confused but I don't want to create another problem.