So I got told a lot about the no contact rule but she says she wants to be good friends. I asked her to be completely honest, about weather she really wanted to be friends or was just being nice and promised her I would accept the answer and not freak out (she knows me well enough to know I would keep that promise) and she said she really wants to stay good friends. She just broke up with me today and I still love her a lot and don't know what to do. So should I still hold with the no contact rule after today? Let it be known I really want to get back together with her and she said that she wanted to get back together in the future. Sorry if I just rambled on and made no sense, I'm really upset.

If I can add I want to tell her how I feel but I don't want to make her feel bad and guilt her. I love her a lot and if she really doesn't want to be with me and it will make her happy, I will let her go and try to not say anything about it to her again. I just feel so bad and crappy and confused and don't know what to do.

Being friends while you still want her back just keeps you hanging on with false hope. She's happy to be friends because it eases her guilt for dumping you.

She's made her mind up and its something she's been thinking about for a while , so the best chance you have , if any , is to respect her decision , and go No Contact.

That way you can start the healing process , and you'll keep your dignity by not hanging around begging for her to come back.

It's not easy and I wish you luck , but plenty of time to be friends when you don't want to be with her anymore , you'll probably find once your over her you won't want to be her friend anyway.

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Being friends while you still want her back just keeps you hanging on with false hope. She's happy to be friends because it eases her guilt for dumping you.

Shes made her mind up and its something shes been thinking about for a while , so the best chance you have , if any , is to respect her decision , and go No Contact.

That way you can start the healing process , and you'll keep your dignity by not hanging around begging for her to come back.

It's not easy and I wish you luck , but plenty of time to be friends when you don't want to be with her anymore , you'll probably find once your over her you won't want to be her friend anyway.

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I would normally have decided that on my own but before we started going out we where really good friends and I don't want that to end. I really just want her to be happy...

So you want her to be happy and you to be miserable?

Believe me , she'll be happy with or without you , in fact if you disappear for a while that would be the perfect scenario for her.

Your focus right now should be to make you happy again , and the best way to that is No Contact.

You could go no contact for now, letting her know that right now it is just to hard otherwise. I would think she would understand.

After you have had time to heal and move on a bit, you could always go back to being friends with her if you still both felt the same about it.

If she is thinking about getting back together in the future, what is her reasoning for breaking up now? Will she be dating others during the break-up? Does she expect you to wait for her?

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

You could go no contact for now, letting her know that right now it is just to hard otherwise. I would think she would understand.

After you have had time to heal and move on a bit, you could always go back to being friends with her if you still both felt the same about it.

If she is thinking about getting back together in the future, what is her reasoning for breaking up now? Will she be dating others during the break-up? Does she expect you to wait for her?

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Her reason was she wanted some time to think about things. Like 2 months before we got together she went through a really bad breakup with an and she said something about not wanting me to turn into that kind of person. Everybody tells me I should go no contact before/if we become friends again but I can't really bear the thought of it.

It sounds as though she wasn't really ready to be in a serious relationship again so soon. Unfortunately, you got hurt by her realization of that.

Go ahead, stay in contact and remain good friends if you can't bear the thought of not doing so. You will know soon enough whether it will work for you.

While you are wanting her to be happy, I would think you would tell her you need some time yourself to wrap your head around this break up, and be a real friend maybe, and not just an ex who wants to get her back.

That's not honest, or healthy for either of you.

Umm I do want her to be happy. If she doesn't want to get back together I'll deal with that and want to stay friends. I'm just upset about it...