I entered into a stipulation with my ex wife in which I signed my paternal rights over and she waived any right to seek arrears and any child support in the future. This was six years ago. Then she called me and said my chhildren wanted to have visits again and she even allowed my son to live with me for a year. Now she is taking me back to court saying if I am having visits I should have to pay arrears and support in the future. Can she make me sign my rights back.

It was clearly stated that only if I put in legal paperwork for visitations or custody that I would then have to assume all the back support, which I have not filed any paperwork. Only one time because she had a cps case against her in which my children had to go to foster care because they refused to go back to the house because of domestic violence with her then boyfriend and alcohol abuse on her part. I put paperwork in but then when cps decided and the kids changed their mind and went back to her I withdrew my petition and the judge said that was fine and never ordered me to pay the money back.

I can't believe any judge would have signed the order you are talking about, I have never seen a judge allow a person to give up rights in exchange for no child support, I believe such action may even be illegal in some states.

If this was just something you and her did, and it never went to a judge, and was never approved in court, the paper is not worth the ink it was written with, because a father can not give up his rights unless it is approved by a judge.

So my bet is that your agreement with your ex was not something court approved and thus was never a legal agreement to start with, thus she is free to do anything she wants.

I agree with Chuck, I have a hard time believing a judge would sign off on such an arrangement. By agreeing to such an arrangement your ex was not signing away HER rights, but her childrens'. Something she can't do.

So the bottom line here is if you did agree to such an arrangement, it would NOT be honroed by a court.

You can choose to not exercise your rights as a parent, but only a court can terminate those rights and they are unlikely to do so.

So the bottom line, is she can go and file for child support anytime she wants. You wave this agreement around and the judge will just ignore it because it doesn't have the force of law.

The judge MIGHT consider the agreement in ordering retroactive support.

to chuck and scott to answer your question it was all done in court and the family court judge did sign it as well as my ex wife and myself in 2006. I have the stipulation and it was attached to the cuurent paperwork my ex is now filing. After signing it I also received a letter from child support enforcement that I am completely current and have no outstanding balance in child support arrears.I have not paid child support ot gotten any paperwork in six years as it was ordered in the agreement.
I understand it is not common for what happened in my situation to occur but I assure you it did happen. Most women would never agree to this as they would want to have a father in their children's lives or at least income to support them but this is how badly my ex was trying to stand in the way of my relationship. She originated the agreement her lawyer typed up the paperwork and believe me I went through so many years of trying to fight to be a part of my kids lives. The harder I tried the more I would lose. I had visitation rights and she would interfere with my visits. I would drive three hours to pick up my kids and she would say oh they don't want to go I told them but they don't want to so I'm not going to make them. The judge woud threaten her time and again but nothing would happen to her but a warning and my children were in a tug of war looking at me through tinted windows heads hung down not able to look me in the eye.
Now as I stated my son lives with me for two years since he came to live with me he told me his mom threatened him beat him with a belt and told he and his sisters not to ask to see your dad. He doesn't love you he only loves his new son(the one I now share with my current wife.)

believe me I did try fighting her my current wife and I even had to file for bankruptcy and borrow mioney from our families to pay for attourneys only to go through a f&^%cked up court system that doesn't really care about the best interest of the children. They said you can't prove parental alienation and encouraged us to make an agreement because they really just don't care. I thought after making this decision that it was the hardest thing in my life but I ask you this what good are rights that mean nothing? Im good enough to pay child support but the judge said she wasn't going to force kids to go with me. So I walked away and had to choose to move on with my life. 2 years later her situation blew up in her face her then boyfriend and her got into domenstic violence situation he took the kids to the police station and the older two refused to go back with their mom and they went to foster care. She had an open cps case that was proven to be founded abuse to them as well as alcohol abuse and at that time I did put a petition back in for custody because I obviously do love my kids in court once again cps was encouraging mykids to go back with their mom and I sat in court hearing the judge say" i find it real hard to believe cps wants these kids to go back with their mom when this case is founded" but in the end the judge even though concerened allowed them back with mom if she underwent alcohol abuse counseling and I withdrew my petition because once again it was going nowhere.
anyhow now she herself called me (2008) reached out to me to see my kids again because she said she was humbled by having to have suprvised visists with her kids apologized but now she's back to her old ttricks again she didn't have to sign that paper but she wanted me out of their lives she wanted to be the mother and the father and now only because my older two kids are almost 17 and 19 and are telling her they want to be in my lives now its convenient for her to say sign your rights back so she can get all that money in arrears come on... thats ridiculous.
in any event I know I'm a good dad not a perfect person but I would never use kids as pawns in the way she did and I would never stand in the way of her seeing my son I even have to pay for him to visit her as she has never in two years driven up here to see him and never sent a dime or so much as even a christmas present. To any other fathers out there going through what I did don't give up hope your kids will eventually know what's real and look for you if you are loving and make yourself available. It may take a while but it will happen.

FYI : Also when I was seeing them again in the beginnning I did send money to her even though I wasn't ordered to pay. At that time all 3 kids were living with her. Now my almost 17 yr old son has been living with me for 2 years and my 19 yr old daughter lives on campus in college. My 10 yr old loves with her. Why should I be paying her when I need money in my houshold so I can take care of our son that lives with me> she has one child I have one child of ours here and my oldest is 19.

It is not a matter of the mother agreeing, many would, but most courts would never accept it, but any child agreement can be requested to be modified.

Ok, so the judge agreed. Is that judge still on the bench in your area? Because, unless he is to support the agreement I doubt if it will be honored. Sounds like you got screwed by the system and sometimes that happens.

I'm suspecting she checked to make sure that judge is no longer sitting before filing. I just don't believe this agreement will be deemed enforceable.

Thank you Scott, no the judge is not still sitting I am applying for a public defender but do you reallly think they will open up all past arrears I'm not so worried about current support... I don't feel that's right to make me pay arrears if I haven't been able to have any say in how my kids have been raised and I went for two years without seeing them. I don't have enough money to pay an attourney so I really hope my ex-wife doesn't get everything she seeking for as she herself broke this agreement by asking me to see them and come back into their lives when it is convenient for her and all on her terms.

That's a tough call. Like I said, I don't believe that agreement will be honored. So they could go back and apply arrears. Your argument would be that since her attorney drew up the agreement and a judge ratified it, you fulfilled your end and should not be penalized. Had the judge not ratified it, you would have continued to fight for visitation.

I think they will cut you slack for that, but I don't know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by willy disco

... i am applying for a public defender ....

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In most places, public defenders only represent defendants in criminal cases. But Willy does seem to live in an unusual place, so, who knows?

Thanks for the input I will post back with the outcome after May 2nd