My fiancé used to be amazing in bed. He has always had issues with being a bit too quick but he has always made sure I was satisfied before he was. Lately things have changed. I give him oral sex all the time and give him pleasure while he is asleep because he says he likes it but he seems to need to be reminded about my needs. I have to ask him to go down on me otherwise it doesn't happen. When we have sex he finishes up then gets dressed and goes outside for a cigarette. He always apologises for being too quick but he never does anything to help me finish. Eveything else in the relationship is great so I'm at a loss for what to do now.

Talk to him outside the bedroom, calmly and rationally. I HOPE you mean you begin oral sex when he's sleeping, not that he doesn't sleep through the act.

Well... I don't think everything can be so great with such a huge disconnect here... personallity traits tend to carry over beyonf the bedroom.. or into it.

If you keep talking ( and talking is always a good first step) but it falls on deaf ears all the time.. or he keeps slipping back into old behaviours... face the fact this is as good as its ever going to get... and decide if you can live with it.

You can teach any dog new tricks... but you are beating your head against the wall if you think you can teach them to cook a banquet for you.