I am so tired. I have no energy or motivation to do anything. I don't fit in with the other moms. I just think I don't fit in with the whole world. My body is on constant alert and I just can't take it anymore. I give the little that I have to my kids. My house has been torn apart for years. We've had bats and there are gnats and ladybugs and boxelder bugs, mice. It's not fair for them to have to put up with me. I love them so mu h and don't want to hurt them, but I'm not sure how long I'll be able to use that as my excuse to stay. I have no one to talk to and can't afford to pay a psychologist, so I am writing here.

I'm not doctor or psychologist but here it goes. First of all, who says you need to fit in or make other people "moms" like you? You need learn to love yourself before expecting for other people to love you. You need to sit down and have a talk with yourself, think about what is making you feel like that. Let me tell you this, a lot of people complain about their lives for no reason, make themselves victims of I don't know what, and what we forget is that we actually have it all. We have a home (even though is torn apart but I imagine it is because of laziness to clean), we have food, and we have a family that loves us. There is other people in the world that don't have any of that, live on the streets, starve to death, don't have a family.
Now get off your , stop complaining and do something about your problems. They cannot fix themselves. Life is not easy, but you don't have to make it more complicated than it is by saying that you don't belong to this world. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR A REASON AND WITH A PURPOSE. Your kids need you too, don't use your laziness as a reason to leave them, they don't deserve that.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you are tired and have low self-esteem because you don't exercise or have healthy eating habits. If so, start doing that. You have no idea how much exercising and eating right changes how you feel. You don't even need a gym membership. You can go out for a walk everyday. Clean your house, that is good exercise too. Listen to music, there is no therapy like it.
Once you start feeling good about yourself and doing right for you and your kids, everything else will fall into place.

I wish you the best...

Thank you for your response. I appreciate your directness. Just to clarify: By "torn apart," I meant that our house is unfinished, and we are basically living in one room. I am thankful to have a home, but sometimes circumstances over time get to a person and you get depressed which does not mean you are lazy. Sometimes you have to get your feelings out, especially if you have no one else to share them with. Depression is an actual disorder. So, it isn't always a matter of just changing the way you think and being thankful that you are more fortunate than others. That being said, you are right about not eating healthy nor exercising, and that probably would help, and I thank you for for the good advice and for reminding me that I don't have to fit in with anyone else... and for taking the time to respond.