Ask Me Help Desk - Child has Stepfathers Name but mom is filing child support on bio-father?

My husband dated this girl almost 7 years ago and the relationship did not last even a year. She had stated when they lived in a different state that she was pregnant however there were doubts she was. They moved back to Arkansas and two weeks later left him. She got with another man while still pregnant (dating) and was with this guy when she had the child. She put his last name with hers on the birth certificate where the child's last name reads his name-her name. Her and this guy got in a fight and she called my husband and asked him to come take a DNA test (he was in North Carolina) after he came back she didn't want him to take a DNA test but wanted him back and three days later dumped him. Him and I got together not long after this. She disappeared from our lives. We still live in the same town as her (Arkansas). She got married to the guy who the kid has his last name. Found out this past Friday that they are getting divorced and my husband receives a letter from child support stating she is filling against him. My husband has had nothing to do with the child and the child has called her stepdad, Daddy and believes he is her father. Can the mother legally do this? Now, we told Child Support this and they said his name is not on the birth certificate however when we got another paper from them they had the child's last name listed as the stepfathers last name-mothers last name. My husband is going to take a DNA test however we don't want to disrupte this little girls life and take away the only dad she has ever known (he was even there for her birth). The girls last name is registered on the birth certificate, social security card, Arkids card, School registeration the same. We feel the stepfather should remain her father and he wants to but they are going through a divorce soon. Not looking for answers claiming my husband a deadbeat or anything cause he wants nothing to do with the kid. (This is a kid he has never known and vice versa) Please no disrespect to this we are thinking of the child's interest and ours. We just want to know can she go after my husband for child support legally when child has step fathers last name?

Please don't try to dictate how your question will be answered. If you only want "advice" from people who will agree with you, talk to your friends. For legal advice, post here.

I don't know how much of what you've posted is guesswork and how much is factual but I have my own opinions and so -

You are wrong on several counts - he's the father unless someone has adopted the child. The girlfriend could marry and use another last name - it's still his child. I don't know why you (or he) care that the child calls someone else "Daddy." He (and you) want nothing to do with her. What's the difference?

It's entirely possible to have one name on the birth certificate but use another name for school records, physician's records and so forth.

DNA testing doesn't change the child's life in the least. Your husband doesn't want any contact. DNA testing can't force him to be anything but a father on paper.

Nothing to do with the "kid"?

I don't see where you are thinking of the child's interest here. I see a lot about you and your husband (who want nothing to do with the "kid").

In brief - no, she can "go after" the father of the child - who appears to be your husband - if DNA proves he is the father and no one has adopted the child.

IF she lied about the father on the birth certificate or IF she was married when the child was born she will have some difficulty. If not - well, time to pay child support.

Of course, your husband can and probably will be responsible for reimbursing the State for any benefits the child received.

- And your husband walked away from his child... why? Because he didn't love the mother any more. Or she didn't love him any more?

Or she was unstable? Was she unstable when he was having sex with her?

Who's name currently appears on the birth certificate at this time as father of the child and how old is the child?

Please stop lying to yourself. Because it is clear you are not thinking of the girl's interest but your own.

I'm not sure why you think there is anything illegal about your husband being asked to pay support for a child he fathered. As long as a paternity tests proves he's the father, then its legal. And if a court issued an order for a paternity test, then its legal.

Now if the step father was married to the mother when the child was born, then he is probably the legal father. But that can be challenged. If not, he may have committed fraud by having his name on the birth certificate or maybe not.

But the bottom line here is if your husband is the father then he better be prepared to pay support. Whether he wants to be a part of his child's life that's up to him. If the step father wants to continue to be a part of the child's life that will be up to the mother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Who's name currently appears on the birth certificate at this time as father of the child and how old is the child?

No ones. That's the issue I am having. The child's last name is hyphenated with stepfather's last name-mother's last name. The stepfather was there when the mother put his last name on it. Thank you for not replying rudely or judging.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Please don't try to dictate how your question will be answered. If you only want "advice" from people who will agree with you, talk to your friends. For legal advice, post here.

I don't know how much of what you've posted is guesswork and how much is factual but I have my own opinions and so -

You are wrong on several counts - he's the father unless someone has adopted the child. The girlfriend could marry and use another last name - it's still his child. I don't know why you (or he) care that the child calls someone else "Daddy." He (and you) want nothing to do with her. What's the difference?

It's entirely possible to have one name on the birth certificate but use another name for school records, physician's records and so forth.

DNA testing doesn't change the child's life in the least. Your husband doesn't want any contact. DNA testing can't force him to be anything but a father on paper.

Nothing to do with the "kid"?

I don't see where you are thinking of the child's interest here. I see a lot about you and your husband (who want nothing to do with the "kid").

In brief - no, she can "go after" the father of the child - who appears to be your husband - if DNA proves he is the father and no one has adopted the child.

IF she lied about the father on the birth certificate or IF she was married when the child was born she will have some difficulty. If not - well, time to pay child support.

Of course, your husband can and probably will be responsible for reimbursing the State for any benefits the child received.

- And your husband walked away from his child ... why? Because he didn't love the mother any more. Or she didn't love him any more?

Or she was unstable? Was she unstable when he was having sex with her?

Wasn't looking for people to agree with me. I posted here for legal advice. I was not wrong about him being the father unless someone has adopted the child. He is only the father if the DNA test proves he is. The mother does not know who the biological father is because she slept with more than 5 guys while they were together and told him when she got mad at him and then he left her. He came back years later to do a DNA test upon her request and she decided she did not want to do one after that. We don't care that the kid calls someone else daddy we are happy that she has the one she has and he is good to her. She wants the kid to be a part of the step dads life however she stated loud and clear that she knows my husband makes more than her husband and just wants the money and doesn't want us in the kids life but is telling her kid that the daddy she knew is not her daddy and now the kid is having a lot of problems understanding why. The stepfather already has to take a DNA test on their child born into the marriage because she had over 20 affairs on him while they were married. We are more than willing to pay the child support if the kid is his. We already pay child support on two other kids that we do have visitation with and we see regularly. You don't see anything about us. When we went to Child Support today the mother told her kid that is your real dad and she said no it's not and I don't want anything to do with him. No, the stepfather and mother were not married but were already planning a wedding. My husband will not be responsible for paying the back child support and the benefits the mother received. We have spoken to Child Support on this matter and in the state of Arkansas the mother can only claim back child support if she filed in the first 5 years of the child's life. My husband did not walk away from the child. She said she was pregnant and found out she had lied just to keep him from leaving her for cheating he stayed another month when he found out about the other four guys (including his step dad) and then he left her. None of what I posted is guess work but all facts. I respect your opinion as I do anyone's. However, I was not looking for judgmental responses but for legal advice to whether the mother could have legally given her child the stepfather's last name without his written consent and since she knew he could possibly not be the father. Thank you for your judgmental opinion though.

I'll join my colleagues - maybe venting makes you feel better.

You are thinking of yourself and your husband, not the child.

Oh, I'm sorry - the kid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Please stop lying to yourself. Because it is clear you are not thinking of the girl's interest but your own.

I'm not sure why you think there is anything illegal about your husband being asked to pay support for a child he fathered. As long as a paternity tests proves he's the father, then its legal. And if a court issued an order for a paternity test, then its legal.

Now if the step father was married to the mother when the child was born, then he is probably the legal father. But that can be challenged. If not, he may have committed fraud by having his name on the birth certificate or maybe not.

But the bottom line here is if your husband is the father then he better be prepared to pay support. Whether he wants to be a part of his child's life that's up to him. If the step father wants to continue to be a part of the child's life that will be up to the mother.

We are not lying to ourselves but from the child's choice. When my husband took the DNA test the child's mom told her that was her real dad and the girl said that is not my daddy and I want nothing to do with him. This has been very upsetting for the child.
I do not think there is anything illegal about my husband being requested to pay child support and the court did not order the DNA test. We received paperwork in the mail from Child Support saying he was being requested to pay. My husband and I know there is a chance he could be the father but she had slept with 4-5 other guys while they were together and she told me this herself. My husband called Child Support and requested the DNA test.
The step father and mother were not married at the time of the child's birth but were planning a wedding soon. She gave the child the stepfather's last name without his written request. I was trying to find out if this was illegal. I understand if he did give his written request his name would be on the birth certificate and it is not, but the child carries his last name. I was trying to figure out if this could be considered illegal. She has stated she doesn't want my husband to have visitation with the child unless he agrees to get back with her.
My husband knows if he is the father he will pay child support. He already has two kids and we pay the child support every month and we have regular visitation with the kids and we have a great relationship with the kids.
Thank you for your reply.

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Who's name currently appears on the birth certificate at this time as father of the child and how old is the child?

Only the mother's is what child support told us. The father is left blank. But child's last name is stepfather's last name-mother's maiden name. The mother's legal last name right now is the step-father's last name. The child is 6 years old but will be 7 in two months.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'll join my colleagues - maybe venting makes you feel better.

You are thinking of yourself and your husband, not the child.

Oh, I'm sorry - the kid.

Sorry if I have offended you and no I am not venting. It said to make sure and give a complete detail explanation so that the reponses could be appropriately. I have seen some on here that give no explanation just a conclusion to go by. I tried to do the best I could. We are not thinking of ourselves when the CHILD has made it clear that she already has a daddy and doesn't want anything to do with my husband.
What's wrong with me calling her the kid? My dad gave me the nickname the kid and anyone I know has always referred to a child as a kid. Plus kid and child are the same thing and there is no negative to the way I say it. She is beautiful and I want the best for her and I respect a child's wishes as does my husband. She already has a daddy that she loves very much and we are friends with the step father and he loves her too. Why destroy a bond between the child and her daddy just because the mother wants child support with no visitation. When the stepfather could possibly be the father too but in her, "He doesn't make alot of money and I would rather get more money if I can and I do not think he will request a DNA test."

I want to apologize to any one who did not understand what I was asking. I did not make myself completely clear and I can see that and messed up with the question I was asking. My question is does this make the step-father the legal father because of the last name (step fathers last name-mother's maiden last name). The step father is not listed as the father and he did not give written consent to his last name being part of her last name.The step father was told this could be considered fraud or that the child is legally his. We don't care if we have to pay child support if the results state my husband is the father. I am sorry for any confusion on this matter and the mistake of the question. I should have made it a little more clear.

The legal father is determined by an acknowledgement of paternity or a court order. Just having the same last name is not an indication of legal paternity. Nor is it fraud as the mother can use any name she wants.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The legal father is determined by an acknowledgement of paternity or a court order. Just having the same last name is not an indication of legal paternity. Nor is it fraud as the mother can use any name she wants.

I thank you so much for that reply. The hospital where I had my son had told me I could only put the father's last name because we were married otherwise I would have had to have his written consent. Everything I have read so far contridicted what I had been told but there were discrepencies to where I could not figure out the right answer for my husband and the step father are going through. Thank you this clarifies it up for me now. I really appreciate your honesty.

But you were married. As I understand it, she wasn't.

If I may, I'd like to explain something about this site. We are unusual in that we don't just answer questions, we try to deal with the situation. I think most of the responses here were concerned about the child and what was perceived as a lack of concern on your part. I'm still not sure whether you are more concerned about yourself than the child. But you do deserve an answer to your specific question. We are here to help, even if you may disagree with the way we help.

This is how it works. You can give the child any last name you choose.

If you are married, the father is assumed the legal father and his name goes on the birth certificate as the father.

If you are NOT married, in order to put a mans name on the birth certificate, he must sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity before his name is placed on the birth certificate.

Now, if there is no father listed on the birth certificate, the child does not have a legal father until a paternity test determines the genetic father unless the woman gets married and the step-father chooses to adopt. This is when it get's tricky. The woman must then subject all men that are possible fathers to a DNA test to determine paternity so that they will give up their rights for adoption to take place.

Your husband is currently the "presumed" father until paternity is proven through a DNA test ordered by the court. Until that time he will not be ordered to pay child support.

And if it goes to Court my suggestion would be to call the child either that ("the child") or by name. Calling a child "kid" is going to offend the Court.

Just a suggestion.