Want to help girl, but don't know how. Help?
My roommate and her friend found her and are secretly keeping her in out dorm. She lived in an abusive home in another state and ran away from home. She went to a homeless shelter for woman but was kicked out and sent back to her mother. She tried going to her aunts but she told her she had no room for her and wouldn't allow her to stay there. Her father died in the army when she was young and her grandmother also died a few years back. Her mother kicked her out because she was ruining her relationship with other men and because she didn't trust her. When kicked out, she found a guy, fell in love (per se), and lived with him. He told her he would try to get her on her feet, but once she lived with him it never happened. He abused her as well, and told her that the house needed to be cleaned, he should cook for her, etc. My roommate came across the situation and found him yelling at her etc when she was sick in bed with a fever. She then removed her from the home. She's planning on staying here till school ends and then go back with one of the girls. They bough tons of food for her and watch her like a hawk. She also has a lot of emotional problems and just doesn't know to deal with them, she also told me she's never had friends before. She just turned 17 and I want to help as much as I can but don't know how. She's doesn't have her SSN, Birth Certificate, or ID. She was kicked out of school almost a year ago because she ran away and her mother wants nothing to do with her. Every time she calls she hangs up on her. She told me how they went to the cops to ask (in a what if situation) and the cops told them that since she's underage it would be kidnapping. The girl had to tell me herself after 5 days of living with me and I didn't know anything (my roommate doesn't tell me ) I haven't really told anybody except my boyfriend to ask advice and he doesn't even know. Help, please?
Don't know if I handled the situation properly?
I already posted about a few weeks ago, that I feel irresponsible. But the problem is I can't seem to correlate what's right in the situation and what's wrong. Which will come to light into a current situation that I have:
After moving in with my second roommate, girls from all down the hall would tell me how horrible she is, how smells bad, etc. I didn't want to judge her based off what people said and decided to give it a shot. So, we got along okay in the beginning until things started spiraling down hill from there. We went from talking once or twice when we see each other to none at all. Between best friends and enemies we were in the middle. She never slept in room which is cool, but when she is I try to make sure she understands my rules. I only had two(which I addressed after finding out she used my hair products without asking): ask before you touch, quiet when I'm studying;she had none.
So, I suddenly find my stuff missing. My flat iron, conditioner, lotion,and shampoo went missing before a break. When I talked to my RM about it, she said the maintenance people probably put it on her side of the room in a box when cleaning up. So, I looked and it wasn't there. When it never showed up, I filed a report with my RA. When I told my roommate she goes "have you checked the box?" I told her I had and it wasn't there, she replies "We told each other we wouldn't touch each other stuff without asking so why would I take your stuff, I didn't take your lotion I don't know where it is, etc." I told her that I was only telling her that I told the Ra and didn't understand why she was getting upset. She said she was in a rush to get somewhere, and that she wasn't upset. A few days later my stuff reappears except my lotion.
Some weeks past by and it's basically the last week of school. I come back and I find my perfume missing. I unpacked, packed, unpacked, packed again and I couldn't find it anywhere. I came to the conclusion it was missing and decided to call the cops. When I told my roommate, she says her debit card is missing and that she might call the cops too. I told her I honestly haven't seen it or nor taken it and she replies "and I haven't taken your perfume" I told her I never said she did and advised her call her CC company to cut it off...
When the cop got there, I talked to him and decided to press charges, and if it shows up missing, I'll call in a tell them to shut it down. He asked if I think it was her. I told him, I have every right to think it's her, (secretly I KNOW it was her), but I don't want to accuse people because what if it's not her? It could be anyone she's bringing in (I addressed that to her in the fight as well which you're about to read) I did it because I'm tired of my stuff missing.
When I came across her roommate again, I told her I called the cops and I'm pressing charges. She says her stuff have been going missing all semester. At that point, I was fed up with her lying to me and sarcastically told her I don't believe her. Because why is she saying something about them now? Why not then? We then have an argument about my past stuff and how they "magically" disappear and reappear. "So, I took your stuff?" she says and I replied I never said that. She said implied it. We then talk about the box and how they were probably in there the whole time. I said "You told me to check remember? It wasn't in there" She then screams at me and says that she can't believe I touched her stuff and that she never said to look in there. Then she told me she handed me my stuff a long time ago, including my soap dish. I don't have a soap dish. She never handed me anything! She was lying again, and again, and again. And making me seem like an idiot and that I was lying. Her friend on the side kept butting in and said "How bout no one touch each other's stuff? You don't touch her tv or microwave and you keep your stuff on your side" I told her that we agreed in the roommate contract to share those items and if she denies those things she'd be breaking that contract causing her to go have a hearing. She goes " well it's her stuff, if she doesn't want you touching it then don't touch. My roommate told me not to touch any of her stuff, including the TV and microwave.
I leave the room and go talk to my RA. She says I did nothing wrong, I felt I did everything wrong and just cried.. There is 1 day left until I leave for home. I have 1 exam left and I can't sleep because I don't feel comfortable in this room and I conscious is killing me.. I moved my stuff to a friends room to mind will be at ease that my stuff isn't being stolen or taken again... All these thoughts of me apologizing are going through my head, but what did I do wrong? I'm passive a lot and me finally addressing the problem to her was scary..
