Hey guys, I decided to write this post because I feel a little lonely at times. Although I have a close family, and a couple good friends, at times I still feel very lonely mainly because I don't have much of a social life. I do my own things that I love at home but I don't go out very often for social events. I am just about graduating from university, I volunteer at a few of places, I have a part time job, and I think I'm consider myself a pretty outgoing person.

However, whenever I go out, I rarely go on dates, hang out with my friends, and other social events. I guess I'm not that type of person, I have always been used to grow up doing things on my own and I guess I am sort of used to that. I rarely find myself having much to say when conversing with others and I guess I like doing stuff on my own. The dilemma here is, I also feel alone at times because I don't have a girlfriend or much friends for that matter. Heck, maybe I'm not ready to have a girlfriend yet but I would also like some friends that are girls.

Anyhow, sorry for the rant. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You have already pin pointed where the problem is i.e, rarely going to social events and mainly doing lone activities, branching out a little from this to extend your social circle is key to combating the loneliness.

Making a concerted effort to talk to women and perhaps asking for that date will throw a little excitement into your life.

It does not have to lead to anything, if your not ready for a relationship it can always be as friends, example,asking a women you know to the cinema as friends, nothing wrong with that at all!

Taking up a new activity that involves a team is also something else you could do, if you do decide having a girlfriend is something your ready for, asking your current friends if they know someone you might click with might just be the answer.

I agree with rehed35, you can't wait for social to reach you, you need to go out there and put yourself on the line in front of social events, potential girlfriends, and making new friends.

From reading your post, I can't tell if you actually want new friends because it seems to contradict.

If you want new friends, I'm sure you know what to do, start by saying "hi, how are you?" and then introducing yourself. But if you don't want friends, then keep doing your own thing and be comfortable with who you are. You don't need to be someone you're not.

Hi guys thanks for responding.

The fact isn't that I want new friends, actually I do, well its more like I want more friends to hang out with. I understand that to do that I will need to "put myself out there" like everyone says but my problem is I don't know how to start with that. At times I feel like, I don't need anyone and I can do everything by myself but at the same time, sometimes I end up feeling lonely and wanting company. That is sort of the dilemma I have. Sure, having more friends is better, but sometimes I feel like I can't stand others and sometimes I feel like I need their company. And also I have no idea what it takes to make new friends and I don't know where to start.

To make a friend you have to be a friend, have you ever noticed how little kids go sit in the sand box and just start playing with other kids ,they get involved in the activity, they share their stuff and ask questions.

Taking an interest in someone else, listening to them, you really don't have to say too much, most people like to talk about themselves, if you have a reputation as a good listener you'll never be short of friends.

YOU can set the bounderies, you still can have your own space and time, friendships take time to grow and develop.

Have you thougth about a joining a team of some description?