Ask Me Help Desk - Why having no sex is desperating

I am50 years old I was married for 16 years with a wonderful guy ,my husbad , but hepass away.. after 3 years I remerried again ,hoping to fid the love I have los tfr my first husband, but to no avail imarried a fix guy,, with vasectomy , I got frustrated I thought I could get good sex fr older guy, then I divorce him , finally I found a great boyfriend great in sex for the first 1 year eventually it fade and ow he doesn't to even touch me anymore even though he still love me, and I wonder why, he said I am very good looking not fat perfect for anyone, he ask me if I want to have sex with other dude good looking and he won't be mad , I said no I want him and only him I keep complaining but and o avail... what will I do I want to feel him wating and making love with me but 3 years and ow maybe we have good sex like 3 times and that's all, help me , I'm frustrated, should I just find a new one, I hate just being ignore,I love him but it seems he has a criteria for me to fulfill before I can get the bous sex which I hate I'm begging for,

Vasectomy doesn't prevent him from performing... only him making you pregnant, which at 50 is unlikely but not completely impossible.

How old is he... has he been to a doctor to find you why he can't perform. This is usually not something he has any control over. Most guys would like to be at it until the day they die... the truth is medical issues and medications needed can all pile up into preventing him from being able to do anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Vasectomy doesn't prevent him from performing...only him making you pregnant, which at 50 is unlikely but not completely impossible.

How old is he...has he been to a doctor to find you why he can't perform. This is usually not something he has any control over. Most guys would like to be at it until the day they die....the truth is medical issues and medications needed can all pile up into preventing him from being able to do anything.

Smoothy.correcting all the words here.. sorry, I retype it cause my boyfriend almost see what I type here..

I am 50 years old I was married for 16 years to a wonderful guy ,my husband , but h epass away.. after 3 years I remerried again ,hoping to find the love I have lost fr my first husband he is 12 years older than me, but to no avail I married a fix guy,, with vasectomy , I got frustrated I thought I could get good sex fr older guy, then I divorce him because he is an abusive guy vervally and physically , finally I found a great boyfriend he is younger by 6 years great in sex for the first 1 year eventually it fade and now he doesn't even touch me anymore, even though he still love me, and I wonder why, he said I am very good looking not fat perfect for anyone, he ask me if I want to have sex with other good looking dude and he won't be mad , I said no I want him and only him I keep complaining but no avail... what will I do I want to feel him wanting and making love with me but 6 years now maybe we have good sex like 3 times and that's all, help me , I'm frustrated, should I just find a new one, I hate just being ignore,I love him but it seems he has a criteria for me to fulfill before I can get the sex which I hate I'm begging for,and the worst part, he is Gay.. but I told him I don't care if he is gay I will still love him.he just want me but never want to satisfy me sexually... I feel like I'm just a servant ad he has also a bad mouth. Treath me like he has a slave,

Yes.. I understood that part from the beginning.. so he is what 44 years old? Its still possible he has medical issues that makes it difficult or impossible to have sex with you.

This is important... has he been to a doctor for this? I ask because things like Diabetes, high bllod pressure that he might not even know he has could cause it... if he is on certain medications for high blood pressure, or depression as two, the side effects of the medication can cause that.

I understand english is not your first language... so I want you to further expplain what you mean by " ...but it seems he has criteria for me to fullfill before I can get the sex...." because that can mean a lot of things that might actually be important here.

His being unwilling is far different than him being unable. I am trying to determine which is the case here as best I can. It does matter to know which it is.

And most guys would not handle being unable well... or really want to face the fact they are having problems... because to a man... that would make them feel less of a man in their mind.

Medical issues preventing him from performing aren't restricted to the older guys.. it can happen to the young ones too, only that it will effect the older people more often as they get older and develop more medical issues with age.

Telling a guy that is UNABLE to get an erection with regularity that you think he is gay... would be seem to him as a slap in the face... or a kick in the balls, and would make the problem even worse. For a guy to be unable to perform... might be a lot like a woman that had to have a breast or breasts removed due to cancer... she would feel less of a woman ( that is not true for all, but is for many) even if she is still the same person inside. And its what's inside that matters.

I will wait for your answer... once we find out which situation applies to him, then we can proceed with some advice that might be helpful.