My boyfriend of under two months kind of broke up with me over bbm!
Hello, I'm not sure if there are others who have experienced anything similar, but I am super confused and hoping you can help me.
I attend weekend classes and have been interacting with this guy for the past year there, about two months ago, we really connected and started going out. He is super cute, very charming and generous, clever, which is a big plus to me, but also very practical minded where I am emotional. He aggressively pursued me and talked about the future, I did think it was too fast and maybe too much too soon and it would maybe burn out or cause issues just as quickly but he assuaged my doubts He comes from a very close knit family, is super close to his mom and even though he seems modern, is from a conservative background, which is okay with me as well.
About a month into our relationship, with all going well, there was an illness in his family and he got very preoccupied with the same. Also, he met me and talked to me about a previous relationship last year which had progressed to the point of an almost engagement, that had resurfaced with the girls family involved this time, talking to his family about it and he was getting pressure to consider it again.
Thus started quite a strain on our very new relationship, wherein I didn't see him socially for a month, except for weekend classes, where we had kept it low key and behaved just as friends. Chatting over messages or bbm is not the best, but that's what it was down to, with the tables kind of turned and I was the one giving more attention and asking after him all the time. It led to some misunderstandings, some arguments, definitely some impatience on my part too and I did get short with him a couple of times, and each of those times he said, lets call it quits maybe, I can't deal with so many things going on and I backed off and stopped the conversation In the meantime, there was a death following that illness, and I wanted to give him space with his family so backed off a bit.
Six days ago, I asked him if all was okay, cause past couple of weeks he's answered only if I asked a question, not come to class cause he was out of town, and hinted at additional confusions and pressures in his life which he is not ready to talk to me about. That conversation led to an argument and after it ended, I wrote him a long e-mail apologizing for being short and getting impatient, that I would try to be more supportive and not critical
Next two days were bare hellos, and I could not stand it any longer so I asked him if we were going to meet and talk? It led to him saying there are many things in his life he is trying to sort out, and he doesn't see us being together anymore, on bbm! He said I realized there is no room for the two of us anymore and he informed me of it as soon as he realized it, and when I asked him to please be more open and communicate he said he could not yet. I said lets not rush a decision and take the time you need, but he said again, but I don't see it and want to be open about that, can you please give me some time to sort stuff out before I can speak with you? I just said OK, and then limited my messages to almost nothing, thought a lot about it and realized I maybe gave up my heart and feelings for him too quickly as I didn't expect this much hurt in so short a while. Yesterday we met in class and he was very polite and sat beside me, joking normally and looking as if this did not affect him at all, but not flirting and I left as soon as class ended.
I have been crying myself to sleep each night, this has affected me a lot more than I thought it ever would and I don't want this to end before it had a real chance to start even! I wanted him to take some time out to get over the death in his home, and maybe restart our relationship, see where it leads us. He is quite perfect for me in every way, and there's not much I don't like about him, except I don't understand why he gets so mad at me sometimes, but we are getting to know each other still
I need to understand a couple of things:
1. Has he broken up with me really? It was a couple of sentences over bbm and he ended saying he needs time to talk to me about anything, so I'm not sure
2. I haven't messaged him since then, unless he does, and respond just a one word or one liner, should I be doing anything different? He's shown a friendlier attitude toward me, should I reciprocate or not?
3. Can I approach him and ask where we are, if we can give it another try or talk about anything? Or just leave it be?
I am really confused, more with my reaction too, been crying on and off and wishing things were not like this, while he is busy attending
Birthday parties and preparing for a marriage in the family this month end. He's been a really good person so far, kind and generous to everyone around him, so I think there's some legit reason behind this behavior, I just can't understand it though
Please help, thanks
