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-   -   (Long distance) love wants a break..! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=650547)

  • Apr 12, 2012, 05:46 PM
    Ami_flare
    (Long distance) love wants a break?!
    Here, let me tell you all my story.

    (I am female)
    I am in long distance for mm, almost two years. However we knew each other in school. He really fancied my but I rejected him cause I had to move away. Then I talk to him on Facebook (now I don't have a Facebook, I only made it for that reason) to apologize to him for my mean ways. Well he accepted that we became very good friends, and then it became a relationship, thanks to him. He even wants to marry me. Both parents know, it's all good you know? Although we are very far away, he came during summer last year though but only for a week. But it's okay I can deal with waiting.

    He was supposed to come here for schooling during the fall, so we can be together. But then he realized he will stay back because he doesn't feel ready to come where I am because he still wants to stay near family. Fair enough I understand.

    (By the way we both believe in waiting to 'do it' you know wait for marriage.

    Also we don't get into fights. We level headed people. I guess debates (arguments) but that is just nothing.)

    Well lately... He has been talking about 'break'. I wonder why? All right I will say, two weeks ago I wanted a day to myself because I was busy working on some things, but it didn't last long. Just a busy day. We all got a busy day some time in the year. But him, now he doesn't want a busy day he is talking about a break.
    Sometimes he tells me that it wouldn't work out because his parents don't agree that he should have relationship with me (They say I'm a good person but I just take it they don't appreciate me. Anyway they don't bother me, they aren't going to get in my way.). He also said if I don't come over there then relationship would crumble.
    Yes weird... he never felt this way before. Just last month everything was beautiful.
    Now he has some problems with being indecisive... I mean I work things out with him and he gets better. Half of last year it was tough because he felt it wouldn't work, because of a previous relationship he had where gal cheated on him. So he was scared, and I turned him around.

    He is very confused the way he feels sometimes. He very much loves me it's true, there is no doubt. And cares about me.
    Yesterday he told me that he thinks "maybe we should take a break ... I just feel so confused." Sometimes he thinks things might not work.
    Also, he was talking about me not being where he is located is difficult. Saying that I should look for someone who is closer to me for physicality. He says what is best for me is to do that... Of course I don't agree with this, I'm really fine with everything the way they are. We see each other this summer so I don't understand big deal.

    All right then after the talk he said he feel better about talking things through, so you know I take it that he let stuff go out of his mind, which is always good, talking things over. So I feel he is better now.

    So my question is ...


    I am going to give him the break he was talking about, until Saturday or Sunday. Is that such a good deal? I think it is, give a taste of his own medicine. Then he can realize how much he was being a stupid idiot.

    Well if anyone has thoughts please reply. Thanks for reading. Heh

    This is my first relationship by the way and it is very nice. It is so pure and loving, I love him very much. Sometimes comedic too LOL.
  • Apr 12, 2012, 05:53 PM
    sean_s
    Read his signals, and attempt to decode lies.

    1. Why is he taking break? Did someone convince him? Is he suspectible to manipulation like that? Does that DIRECTLY, and LITERALLY conflict his other statements? Mine broke up with me, was also an LDR, by making statements which are EXACTLY contradictions of things she said before.

    2. Ask him, if he would rather break up. If he is willing to break up, over really waiting for you, or is he ready to wait.

    3. ask him for an estimate, which should not be too long

    If you get negative response, which is, conflict with his previous statements, he does not want to wait, or can not give you an estimate, then there is hardly any point.
  • Apr 14, 2012, 12:28 AM
    talaniman
    He may be wrapped around your finger now, but playing games is no way to have a relationship. Keep talking, and maybe skype or Facebook would be a good idea. You may be happy, or satisfied with this arrangement, but he obviously is not.

    Talk and find out exactly why, and work on a solution together.

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