My exboyfriend and I broke up about 3 years ago, I moved out of State. We also have a son together, and the last two times we've seen each other, I've convinced him to have sex. He says is not a good idea, because he doesn't want me to get "hurt", but we end up doing it anyway. My problem is that ever since we broke up, I keep imagining him having sex with other girls, down to the nastiest details, when these thoughts pop into my head I get very sad and wish we were still together. What I'm confused about, is that I don't think of the good times and things we did together so I don't miss him that way. But why do I keep having this images of him w/other girls??

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Originally Posted by PURELLA

My exboyfriend and I broke up about 3 years ago, I moved out of State. We also have a son together, and the last two times we've seen each other, I've convinced him to have sex. He says is not a good idea, because he doesn't want me to get "hurt", but we end up doing it anyway. My problem is that ever since we broke up, I keep imagining him having sex with other girls, down to the nastiest details, when these thoughts pop into my head I get very sad and wish we were still together. What I'm confused about, is that I don't think of the good times and things we did together so I don't miss him that way. But why do I keep having this images of him w/other girls?????

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You keep having these thoughts because you shared a special kind of intimacy with him, to a degree I think it is normal. However, if it is affecting your ability to get back out there and meet new men, or you find yourself talking about him with any new love interestes you should problally get Grief, (yes Grief) counselling. IT is not a relationship issue, it is your inability to let that dead thing go and get closure, so it is grief that haunts you.

ALso, don't torture yourself emotionally by having him in your bed, go find someone else to explore your sexuality with, if you view this as just exploring sexuality and not a new "relationship" you will find that you are far less inhibited, far less concerned with YOUR preformance, and able to enjoy sex a lot more...

No Strings Attached until you are ready... NSA
Good luck !