So I dated this girl for 3 yrs. We never fought I think we only had one or two fights in 3 yrs. I think that hurt us in the long run because she holds everything in and a couple of days ago she tells me that she loves me but isn't sure if it is for real. She thinks that maybe its more of a friend type love. But I know that I really love this girl so I pushed to see if we could just play it out and see what happens which I now know was a mistake, I shouldn't act as if I have to have her.

But anyway she agreed to see what would happen and one night she had thought of letting me back in but said she was just really confused and didn't know what she wanted. So we broke up and I told her you know if you think that there's somebody else out there for you then have at it her response was its not necessarily that she just needs some time alone to think. I am trying to do everything and anything to get her off my mind but everything I do doesn't help I miss her a lot .

I just want to know if anyone knows what all this could mean? I mean I thought we had a really good relationship we talked about marriage and she seemed that that was what she had wanted at one time too. I don't want to over analyze but do you think maybe she needs time just to be able to tell if she loves me like a friend or more than a friend. I am not going to call her though I want her to come back to me. I just miss her and if anyone thinks they might know what's going on in her head please let me know thanks.

I am sorry for what you are going through... I went through something similar to this... The one thing that I am going to tell you is this... There is no way anyone of us knows what she is thinking, why she is thinking it, or what it all means expcept for her... you have to accept this and stop trying to play dective and figure it out... I am 35 and have done my fair share of playing detective and I am not even getting 30% of what I think right... so just let it go... it will drive you nuts to try and figure it out...

So I am going to give you a plan to get through this... when you think of her just stop... take three deep breaths and acknowledge the missing feeling you have at that time... after your three breaths ask yourself and you live with this feeling? Then ask can you let this feeling go? Do that until you can say yes I can let this feeling go... you will have to do this several times...

Next get to the gym and make yourself workout! This is an absolutel must... what it does is that it actually transforms your brain... also what it does it allows you to check out other females and realize that there are other fish in the sea... you will not feel that way at first and I am not saying go hit on every girl in the gym... I am just saying to look at them and realize that there are a lot of beautiful woman out there and if your girl does not come back you will have your chance again... like I said... not what you want to hear but it is true...

Last... and I think it is the most important... EAT! You will need the nurtients and vitamns to keep you from being debbie downer... eat lots of fruits and vegetables... eat food that will give you energy... like I said before this might be hard to do right now but do it... you have to...

Let her be her let her go... if you really loved her let her be let her remember you as the guy that was strong enough, mature enough to let her go. Stay busy with whatever you have to do... every Sunday night plan your nights for the next week have something going on to look forward to... Call your buddies go out with them but stay away from the beer and alcohol for a while... it will only bring you down... there will be time to drink again but really cut back on it for about a month or so... you can have a beer just don't get hammered... that is when it starts to hurt again and honestly you will make mistakes...

After all this all you can do is give it time... hang in there you will get through this!

Its hard without knowing your ages, but she either wants to explore on her own before she gets married, or wants to find what she was meant to do in life, or has found new priorities in life.

Regardless of what's on her mind, don't get carried away by your own fear of losing her, and add to the confusion by pressing her in any way, to explain, or get back to spending time with you. This is not the time to fight for love, it's the time to give her what she asked for, and back up gracefully so she can decide what she wants without your influence. She may miss you, she may NOT!

Hard to do I know, but spend time in your own life, with friends, family, and activities, that keep you busy, and see what happens. No way will you just move on and get over a 3 year relationship, but you can deal with your feelings, and fear of loss in some positive and productive ways for yourself. You simply have to expect pain, some misery, and confusion, and leave her alone as you rebuild, regroup, and see what happens.

Hope for the best, yet plan for the worst. So how old are you both? Are either of you working, or still in school?

Im 22 and she's 20 but I just didn't know what to think cause I told her see other people if you think you need to and she didn't take it so she must feel something. But I'm actually starting to feel better now I think I really needed some time too I still miss her and love her but there so many friends and things I haven't done in three yrs that I get to do right now so I'm just enjoying it while its here and see what happens.