I've been with my husband for 13 years, we're both 26 but for the past 10 months I've been having an affair with a woman, my best friend. My husband knows I have slept with her, he knows my feelings are confused towards her now. She has told me she is in love with me and wants to be with me, I know I feel the same but I'm so scared. I have been honest with my husband about all of it, I don't understand why but he forgives me and wants us to try and regain our love. I'm not in love with him although I do care about him deeply and worry what this will do to him. I think I need to be on my own and sort me out but he fights so hard and I feel so guilty. I have no one I can't all to about this as my best friend is already involved. We have two children 7 and 2 I don't want to ruin their lives either. Please help me

This may sound really crazy, but just for the sake of your kids- how about being in a polyamory or triad form of relationship. But of course only if your friend and your husband are interested.

Hello p:

I'm a believer in keeping your commitments. I think there's a GREATER benefit having done so, than any short term benefits that MIGHT look good.

I say this, being a fellow who DIDN'T do that, and wishes he had.

excon

How about stopping the affair and going to counseling to try and make your marriage work. Being bi or lesbian is not an excuse to have affairs.