I am contemplating a life change. How do I take the jump when 75% of me says to play it safe and follow the safe and straight course of my life? For example; I have a good job and somewhat happy home life but want to leave Minnesota for a warmer climate. My wife and child don't want to leave MN so I will have to leave them behind if I make the jump. I have researched the warmer areas I would like to go but am still ponding the big question. Any ideas? Has anyone else left behind their life for another?

Thanks,

DAC

You are willing to move to a warmer climate and leave your wife and child behind? WOW. When do you feel that they will come down to join in, if ever? It sounds like you are going to totally walk away and not look back. Abandoning your wife and child. Am I reading this right? A new life, in a new place, with a new job. Are you going to get a new identity too?

I am sure there are those people who have done just that. I suspect the change is not all about climate. I live in North Dakota and MN is not all that bad. So what is the story behind the story here?

People get tired of cold weather. Why should I work another 20 years and have to deal with the winters in Minnesota. I have been here for 40 years and am getting tired of it. My wife and child love Minnesota so I couldn't ask them to take such a leap of faith. Especially one so risky. I know people who leave Minnesota for a change of climate and come back because they miss the four seasons but I am not one of them. If I never experience winter or snow again I wouldn't miss it. I just have to decide to make that leap of faith.

Thanks,

DAC

So let's see if I understand: if you decide that the warmer climate is what you want then you'll divorce your wife and rarely see your kid?

That is what I get from his question - dump every part of his Minnesota life and go forward.

I am not against changing a climate - many people do it every year. But to walk out and not look back is a pretty low down way to conduct one's self.

So I still have the question - what is the rest of the story here? It is not all about climate.

Are you saying that I am being too self centered? Maybe so but image what you would feel like if you could wake up everyday in warm weather. You could go on nice long bike rides and swim every week. Why do you think California is overpopulated while states like North, Minnesota and South Dakota have an abundance of real estate available. Why does Alaska have zero income tax because they have a tough time convincing people to stay and live there. For me , could I find a job in California and convience my wife and child to move out there before they divorce me.

Do you have job leads in California? Do you have a plan? If you do go to CA for a new job and your wife decides not to come with, are you prepared for the consequences? Or are you going to have a long distance marriage? How well thought out are your ideas?

I do not have anything against you moving to CA, it just that some of your thinking is a bit eschewed - relating to your wife and child. Is the move worth the risk of losing them?

I am a computer programmer so I believe I could find a job in California. The leap of faith would be could I be as successful professionally as I am in Minnesota. The other big question is. Will my wife and child come out. Probably yes to the first question and no the second. I couldn't substain a long distance relationship so the leap of faith question would be. Am I willing to leave my wife and child for California. I'm not sure. 25% of me says yes and the other 75% side says no. I guess until it gets closer to 50/50 I probably will stay in Minnesota and bear it.

Thanks for your imput.

If you remain serious about this... why not vacation out there to the same area you would want to work? Get as much information you can about the area to answer any of your wife's questions. Maybe it is not so much the move to another state that concerns your wife but the element of change altogether may be too much. Are all your families in MN? That could be part of her relulctance.

I get tired of the Crazy weather where I live. A few weeks ago we got a little snow and ice, today I have my windows open because it's 72 degrees F... And in the summer time, the heat and humidity make you feel like you're going to choke at times, but it doesn't mean I'd ever leave my family over something such as the weather.
No disrespect, but I'd live at the North Pole in an igloo, or the desert in a sand hut if that's what it took to be with my husband and children...

Got to spread the love, shy...
I was thinking the same thing, Why not Vacation to the area so your family can see it for themselves?

Hi. I know what you are going through. I almost told my husband goodbye because I wanted to move to Florida. Now, I had lived in Florida for five years with my mother so I know what it is like and I miss it dearly and can't wait to stick my feet in the sand again. I just don't think you should abandon your family to do this. Take them on a vacation and show your wife what it's like. Maybe she will love it and want to go too. My husband and I just went to Boston last month and he is waking up to the world and he wants to get away from here, even though all of our family is here now too, and although we may not move to Florida, we will find somewhere in this big beautiful country to live together.
Oh, and I am so with you on the weather thing. I didn't miss the winters and I won't if I live some where that doesn't get any winter. EVER!

If it really is just about the weather, you are one shallow dude.

Are you sure you only want to leave because of the 'warm climate'? Ask yourself this question. No one just leave the people you love behind for the reason above.

IF it is a decision solely on warm weather and leaving your family for it
I don't see the rational
I want to leave the Burgh for AZ and according to my faith on it I should have leaped a long time ago but then I do not have a spouse nor small children to leave behind.
What holds me back? Gas money (lack of)

Dude, you can't be serious.. You are willing to leave your WIFE and your OWN CHILD for something as insignificant as the weather? I can't help but think this is unreal...
"mommy, where's daddy?"... "oh, honey, he left us because it's too cold here.."
Marriage AND parenting is about sacrifice. Do you realize how many people even wish that they could have what you have, A FAMILY.. and here you are ready to destroy something so special for your own personal climate preferences... this is disgusting. Just completely selfish..

The original asker has not posted here since March 13, 2007.

Dammit man... I'm sure he's relaxing on the beach right now with a martini and magazine,
While his wife is back home going to collect food stamps. What a jerk.

I do agree with you. Of course he could have been a troll.